TGWTG Rangers
by GigaBob
Summary: The familiar faces of That Guy with the Glasses are caught up in a war between ancient demons and the last of the Wizards who sealed them away.
1. A Clichéd Beginning

"GOD THAT SUCKED!"

The Nostalgia Critic was finishing up the filming of the live-action bits of the Muppets In Space review. He thought he'd been pretty funny throughout, and he was particularly proud of the Borg joke, but he still had to edit it and put it up online to make some good old ad revenue.

"Let's do one more take." Rob said from behind the camera.

"Yeah, sounds good." The Critic's causticness was exaggerated for the camera; sure, he was pretty animated and excitable in real life, but he very rarely got as angry in real life as he did while filming the reviews. Hell, he didn't even mind Muppets In Space; but of course, the fans demanded it, and he decided to go along with it because it had some good material.

The Critic cleared his throat. "Okay... 3, 2, 1. GOD THAT SUCKED! I'M THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC, I REMEMBER IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO!" The Critic grabbed his hat and threw it to the ground, while walking off screen with a particularly loud "FUCKING ALIENS!"

"And... cut." Rob turned the camera off. "So why exactly did you want me to film this?"

"I dunno." The Critic shrugged. "Wanted to make sure I was in frame and shit like that."

"Whatever." Rob walked away. Doug grabbed the camera and brought it over to his computer; he began importing the footage, but it would take at least an hour to finish. In the meantime, the Critic logged on to Skype. Almost immediately, he received a notification of a call from an unknown source.

"Probably just another crazy fan who got my Skype name." The Critic dismissed the notification, but to his surprise, it popped up again only a few seconds after he closed it. He continued dismissing it, but it kept popping up, until it just forced its way into an active window.

"YOU AND YOUR FELLOW REVIEWERS ARE IN DANGER. BUY A PLANE TICKET TO CHORUS FALLS, PENNSYLVANIA AND GO TO 921 B STREET. I HAVE WIRED 10,000 DOLLARS TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. DO NOT DISREGARD THIS MESSAGE."

"What the fuck?" The Critic said, but before he could question the mysterious modulated voice, the call closed itself. The Critic tried re-dialing the mysterious person, but they were offline.

"Huh, what's going on?" Rob peeked his head into the editing room.

"Got some crazy call on Skype." the Critic said. "It told me to go to some place called Chorus Falls because I'm in danger or something."

"Yeah, about that. I forgot to tell you, but the bank called and said that someone tried to wire $10,000 into your savings account."

"Well that's narratively convenient." the Critic said. "So what do you think? Should I take a chance and go to this place?"

"Fuck no!" Rob said. "I sure as hell wouldn't! Then again, this person did give you $10,000 for a special appearance in Nowhere USA. I suppose it'd be rude if you didn't."

"Thanks for the mixed messages." the Critic said sarcastically. He looked at his Skype list, and saw that Lindsay, the Nostalgia Chick, was also online. Out of curiosity, he decided to call her.

"Hello?" NChick asked.

"Hey Lindsay, it's Doug. Uh, I got this weird Skype call today, and-"

"Holy shit you too?" NChick gasped. "I just got one too! He said he was giving me money to meet him in some place called Chorus Falls."

"Shit." The Critic leaned back in his chair. "What's going on here?"

"Hold on." NChick went silent for a moment. About a minute later, she added "Angry" Joe Vargas to the call.

"So you guys got a weird Skype call too?" Joe asked. "I just checked my savings account, and I'm officially 10,000 bucks richer. But I dunno, it might be drug money or something..."

"Yeah, me too." Noah "The Spoony One" Antwiler said as he too joined the call. "And I know none of my fans would donate $10,000 to me, so he's gotta be legit." he chuckled.

"Chorus Falls, huh? I was there for a convention once." Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug, he with the alliterative name, said. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going. I mean, if we all go together, what could they do to us?"

"Oh I dunno, pull a gun on us and force us to act in a porno?" Spoony suggested.

"Yeah, you'd like that." NChick commented.

"As I recall, Spooning with Spoony was your idea." Spoony pointed out.

"I'm with Lewis here. What's the worst that could happen?" Joe said.

"Thanks for jinxing it." the Critic said. "I guess I don't really have anything better to do - I've already recorded all my bits for the weekly review, and we won't be there for more than a week, right?"

"I still think it's a bad idea." Rob said. "And of course you would leave me to edit the review while you go investigate a haunted house or some shit."

"Nah, I'll edit in on the way." the Critic said.

An hour later, they'd set up all of the logistics. They would all meet up at the Pittsburgh Airport, and rent a car to drive up north to the small town of Chorus Falls. There was, in fact, a minor waterfall near Chorus Falls, though it was too small to be of note; Spoony briefly brought it up, but he was quickly dismissed for more important plans.

* * *

><p>About four days later, the Critic, NChick, Angry Joe, Spoony and Linkara stood outside of a dilapidated office building in the "business district" of the small town of Chorus Falls (the rest of the business district consisted of a McDonalds and a couple of dollar stores). The drive up here was pleasant enough; though the five of them interacted all the time, besides crossovers and the anniversary events, they didn't get to physically interact with one another. And even when they did meet up, the shooting schedules were so hectic that they didn't get to just hang out with one another.<p>

"So... we came all this way." Linkara said, pointing to the crumbling building. The windows were broken and had been poorly boarded up, and yellow tape had been put in front of the door as a warning not to enter. There were probably rats running around inside too.

"Yeah, this was a fucking waste." Spoony said. He started to walk back to the car, but Angry Joe stopped him.

"Come on guys. We came all this way, we've gotta at least go inside!" Joe ripped the tape off of the door, and jiggled the doorknob... but it was locked. Joe muttered in frustration, and prepared to break the door down, but the Critic stopped him.

"I've got this. Lindsay, do you have a hairpin?"

"Huh? Yeah, but since when can you pick locks?" NChick fished out a hairpin from her pocket and handed it to the Critic, who swiftly unlocked the door.

"It's a long and embarrassing story." the Critic said, handing the hairpin back to NChick. Since the door was already open, he was the first to enter, followed by the rest of them.

As expected, the building was dark and musty. The first floor was a lobby of some sort, though any furniture that had been there before had been taken out or looted.

"Anyone got a flashlight?" Spoony asked.

"I thought this was going to be a house or something. Why would we have brought a flashlight?" the Critic said.

"Good point. You know, it's a really cliched line, but I've really got a bad feeling about this." Spoony said.

"Ha." Linkara commented. They continued walking through the abandoned building; the second and third floors were also abandoned and stripped of anything valuable, and it definitely looked like nothing had been in here for at least a few years.

"Fuck this, I'm leaviaaaahh-" NChick screamed as the floor collapsed beneath her.

"Lindsay!" The Critic rushed over to the hole and peered in; it was far deeper than it had any right to be, and he couldn't tell where the bottom was. "Lindsay! Hey, Lindsay!"

A soft green glow illuminated the darkness. A large, semitransparent hand rose from the pit, safely holding NChick in its palm. It kept rising until it was level with the floor, and NChick stepped off of it and back onto solid ground.

"Oh my god." NChick gasped breathlessly. Joe, Linkara and Spoony gathered around her.

"Are you okay?" everyone asked.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. But what the hell is that?" NChick said, pointing to the glowing hand still levitating behind her.

"Ah!" a voice chirped from behind them. Everyone turned around, and saw a diminutive cloaked figure walking toward them. "Sorry folks! I didn't expect you for at least a few more days!"

"And you are?" Spoony asked.

The cloaked figure chanted something, and the hand disappeared. It was replaced with a dazzling golden sphere, which flooded the room with light; it also shed some light on the figure, who appeared to be a four-foot-tall wizard, with a long gray beard and a robe and hat patterned after the night sky.

"I haven't even introduced myself! I'm sorry, I've been so scatterbrained lately. I'm Prospo, apprentice of the Great Wizard Zona." Prospo bowed, and his hat fell off; he blushed in embarrassment as he hastily picked it up and put it back on.

"Wizard." Spoony said. "You're a wizard. And you're named after a character in The Tempest."

"Yep! That old Will's a heck of a biographer, though he always seems to forget everyone's names. But come on! We have lots to discuss. Come with me!"

Prospo cast another spell, creating a door of light in front of him. He walked through it, and beckoned the rest of them to come through it as well.

"Okay, did I just get injected with LSD or something?" the Critic said in disbelief. "Because I'm looking at a fucking wizard with spells and shit. Did I miss something?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Doug." Linkara said. "Hey uh, Prospo, you wouldn't happen to know a certain Alpha Five, would you?"

"Can't say I have." Prospo said, scratching his head. "My apologies for being insistent, but this is quite urgent! Please come here!" Prospo disappeared beyond the event horizon of the door.

"So... should we go?" the Critic asked, somewhat rhetorically.

"If this is what I think it is, then hell yeah!" Linkara ran through the door.

"I think I'll go too. Can't hurt, right?" Joe followed Linkara.

"Yeah, I'm not going." Spoony backed away from the door.

"Oh come on, you wuss." NChick grabbed Spoony's arm and dragged him through the door. The Critic hesitated a little bit, but he too went through the light door, which closed behind him.

The five of them appeared in a frankly bizarre circular room. A huge wooden table dominated the center of the room, and the outside of the room was lined with shelves upon shelves of books and all sorts of doodads and gizmos. A large crystal ball sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by a wreath of glass flowers.

"Good, you're all here!" Prospo said excitedly. "Please, take a seat!"

Prospo took out a wand from the inside of his robes and magicked up some chairs. They all took their seats around the round table as a set of wrought-iron doors at the back of the room opened. The five of them all stared as a busty blonde sorceress in a low-cut indigo dress stepped out, bringing with her a thick smell of cherries and tobacco. She held her hand out, and an ornate silver staff with a large ruby on top materialized in her grip; she waved the staff, creating seven golden goblets for each place at the table. She took a seat opposite Prospo and the reviewers.

"Welcome, members of That Guy with the Glasses. I am Zona, the Great Wizard of North America." She waved her staff again, filling the goblets with crystal-clear water.

"Damn that's good water!" Spoony said as he took a sip. "I mean, yeah, it's water, but... it's awesome."

"It's imported and cleaned from a special spring in the Alps." Zona said. "Now, Prospo..." She glanced at the wizard, who had conjured a couple of blocks so that he was at eye level with everyone else.

"Yes, Your Wizardness?" he said, hastily removing his hat. His face was lined and ruddy, but kind in a sort of grandfatherly way.

"Have you filled in our guests as to why they have been called here?" Unlike Prospo, Zona looked to be in her mid-thirties, though her voice had the air of one who had lived much longer.

"Well, of course!" Prospo raised his pointer finger, but a look of confusion crossed his face. "Actually, I may have forgotten..."

"Yes, of course you have." Zona scowled. "I apologize for my apprentice's faulty memory."

"Okay, no offense, but what the hell is going on here?" the Critic asked, getting a nod from his compatriots. "I mean, we get called here out of the blue, and you guys start using magic or some shit? I don't know about these guys, but I'm pretty sure magic isn't real."

"I have little time to explain. Let us simply say that magic does exist, but it has been in decline for the last three thousand years." Zona's eyes flashed; the room went dark, and the crystal ball in the middle of the table lit up, showing an image of several dozen men and women fighting a huge demon-like beast. "Before the dawn of civilization, humans were ravaged by these beasts, which we shall call Demons. The old Wizards sealed them away, but at a great cost: magic went into decline, and man chose to walk down the path of tools and technology instead."

"Shouldn't there be some record of these beasts if they actually did exist?" NChick asked.

"There is. Gods, devils, angels, spirits... many of them were inspired by the Demons of yore. But the seal on these creatures is weakening, and no Wizard alive has the power to reseal them."

"Ooh, I see where this is going!" Linkara said with an almost childish glee.

"Yes, I would imagine you do. I have developed a method of permanently destroying the Demons, which is why I have called you five to this place."

"Why us? Why not share this thing with the military or whatever?" Spoony asked.

"My method is... very specific. I have chosen the five of you because you possess a strong connection to the path of technology, and you have a strong devotion to aspects of human civilization. Both of these things are anathema to the Demons, and using them combined with my method will empower you to a level equal with the Demons."

"Empower? Like-" Joe said, but Linkara cut him off.

"Power Rangers. You're going to give us morphers." Linkara was beaming.

"Something like that, yes." Zona had a slight grin on her face. "I will assume that Mr. Lovhaug will become one of my warriors. What about the rest of you?"

"Yeah, I'll try anything once!" Joe said.

"Um, no thanks. I have a job and shit, and honestly, I still don't believe half of what you've told us." NChick said. "No offense or anything."

"None taken. But if you are unsure, why not follow Mr. Vargas' advice and try it once? I will not put you in a binding contract or anything, you are free to leave whenever you wish."

But Zona was interrupted by a loud buzzing sound. Several of the magical doodads were going off, creating a cacophony of noise.

"Your Wizardness!" Prospo exclaimed as he quieted the gizmos by flinging magic at them. "It's the Demon! It's about to break its seal!"

"I feared as much." Zona frowned. "I called you to Chorus Falls because there is an extremely weak seal here. The Demon sealed here will escape shortly, and if you do not stop it, many lives will be lost. I apologize, but I must ask all five of you to accept my power for at least this one battle."

"Yeah, okay." Spoony shrugged. "I guess being a Power Ranger wouldn't be so bad."

"I'm with Lindsay here, but... well, I guess I'll do it at least once." The Critic crossed his arms. "But how exactly do we fight it?"

"Take these."

Zona conjured five steampunk-looking wristwatch things. They were primarily bronze and silver, but the wristbands were color-coded: red, pink, black, green and yellow.

"These watches will greatly amplify your inner power, and they will give you a number of abilities that you would not otherwise possess." Zona said. "But their power is not unlimited. You must make use of your own skills and abilities in tandem with the power of the watches. Do so, and you will be unstoppable."

"Cool!" Linkara said as the green watch floated over to him. "So what's the activation phrase? 'It's Morphin' Time'? 'Go Galactic'? 'Time for Time Force'?"

"Those are kinda corny, man." Spoony said as he got the yellow watch. "Well at least I'm not the Pink Ranger."

"Shut up." NChick naturally got the pink watch. "Come on, can't you make it blue or something?"

"If that's what you would prefer, yes." Zona snapped her fingers, and the pink watch became blue.

"Thank you for allowing me to avoid a reeeeeally obvious joke." NChick said, slipping the watch on her wrist. The wristband shrank slightly as she put it on, and the dial flashed blue a few times, calibrating it so that only its chosen wearer could make use of it.

"Black, yeah! It's a good thing I'm Hispanic, or else it might be just a bit uncomfortable." Joe said.

And of course, the Critic got the red watch.

"The activation phrase, Mr. Lovhaug, is whatever you want it to be. Your willpower also plays an important role in these powers; believe in yourself, and you will overcome the Demons."

"Gaaah, that's fucking lame." Spoony said. He put the yellow watch on and fiddled with the dial a bit. "Okay, uh... I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE SOUL!"

The dial on the watch emitted an intense yellow light, quickly engulfing Spoony in a blinding white light. A few seconds later, the light faded, and he emerged, dressed in a yellow spandex costume with a circular white, gold and silver design on the chest, and white d20s on the shoulders. The helmet was more like a motorcycle helmet with a black visor, but unlike other Power Rangers helmets, it lacked a mouthpiece.

"What, no mouthpiece? That's totally inaccurate!" Linkara complained. "Well, here goes. IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"

Linkara went through a similar transformation sequence, ending up in a green spandex costume that had the same circular symbol on the chest, but white silhouettes of Pollo on the shoulders. And unlike Spoony's helmet, his had a sculpted mouthpiece.

"The costumes will react to your personalized desires." Zona mentioned. "They will stay relatively similar, but little details such as the shoulder patterns will change based on your preferences."

"Neat! YO JOE!" Joe's black costume had a silhouette of an XBox 360 controller on one shoulder and an NES controller on the other, and his headgear lacked a mouthpiece but instead had a black bandanna over the mouth.

"Uh, powers, go or something." NChick's costume was blue and lacked the skirt of traditional Power Rangers costumes, but the helmet was slightly more rounded and had fake pigtails on each side. The symbol on her shoulders was an old-timey camera on a tripod.

"So wait, the Red Ranger's always the leader, right?" the Critic asked.

"Yeah, but to be honest, you're not really leader material." Linkara said half-jokingly.

"Thanks, Lewis. I'M THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!" The Critic's red costume had a stylized version of his tie on each shoulder, and his helmet covered his entire face but lacked a sculpted mouthpiece. Despite this, he could talk perfectly fine, as evidenced by his jumping up, striking poses and yelling kiais.

"I would have liked to let you practice with your new powers before sending you out to battle, but we do not have the time." The ruby on Zona's staff flashed, opening another door of light at the back of the room. "The Demon has not yet fully manifested. You still have time... go to it and defeat it. Once you have weakened it enough, I will show you how to permanently destroy it."

"Good luck!" Prospo yelled. The five Review Rangers stepped through the door of light, directly into their first battle...


	2. Hax Weapon Powers

The Nostalgia Critic, the Nostalgia Chick, Angry Joe, Linkara and the Spoony One stepped out of a door made of light, onto the outskirts of Chorus Falls, Pennsylvania. They'd been told to come to some town in the middle of nowhere, where they met a blonde witch who turned them into Power Rangers and sent them to kill a Demon.

It had been a pretty weird day.

"I still don't understand how we ended up here." Spoony said, looking at his yellow spandex costume. "First of all, why the hell would anyone choose a bunch of nerds with little to no combat experience to fight ancient evil demons?"

"I'm pretty uneasy about this whole thing too." NChick said. "We don't know the whole story yet, but there's already a ton of holes in Zona's exposition. And I'm not satisfied with her 'gods based on real ancient demons' crap either."

"I don't know about you guys, but I think that this is pretty awesome." Linkara said. "How often is it that you get awesome magical powers to defend the Earth?"

"Yeah man!" Joe exclaimed, flexing his muscles. "This is a pretty big responsibility, and we should be honored that of all the people in the world, we were the ones chosen."

Before the Critic could add his two cents, the earth started to shake. A purple-and-gold circle appeared on the ground before them, and an invisible hand drew intricate designs within it. When the design was complete, a beam of white light shot into the heavens; once the light faded away, around twenty red-skinned horned humanoids stood in a patch of charred grass within the former circle.

"Ah, these are the Putties." Linkara said, obviously not impressed. "Okay, well... how do we fight them?"

_The most basic spell you will use is called 'Weapon Generation'._ Zona's voice echoed throughout the five's minds. _Just concentrate on a weapon, any weapon you can think of, and your watches will manifest them for you. For now, focus on simple weapons._

"Wow, that sounds extremely exploitable." Spoony commented. He held his hand out, and the watch on his wrist emitted a flash of rainbow light; a few seconds later, a poleaxe manifested in his open hand.

"Uh, do you even know how to use an axe?" the Critic asked.

"How hard can it be? You just insert pointy end A into body B." Spoony rushed at the waiting demons, axe at the ready; he swung at one of them, but the blade shattered against the demon's skin.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." the Critic remarked. As the demons began to surround Spoony, the Critic held out his hand and generated a handgun. He aimed and shot at one of them; the bullet penetrated the demon's skin, slightly wounding it, but it made it more angry than anything. The demon grabbed a few of its friends, and they all slowly walked at the Critic. He backed away while firing more shots, but his unfamiliarity with real guns meant that he missed`most of his shots, and the ones that did hit did comparatively little damage to the demons.

"You're thinking too small, Doug!" Joe shouted as he mowed down the three demons with a torrent of bullets. Joe was wielding a Doom-style chaingun, evidently with little to no recoil.

"What? How the hell-"

"I just tried it, and it worked!" Joe said, visibly smiling under his bandanna. He pointed the chaingun at the other demons and let 'er rip, but nothing came out; the chaingun had run out of ammo.

"Wait, what?" Joe said, visibly frustrated. "Come on! Hey Zona, how the hell do I get more ammo?"

_There is an upper limit to the amount of items you can create through Weapon Generation, and ammunition counts toward that._ Zona said. _Your upper limit will grow with time and training, but for now, stick with simple weapons._

"Gee, thanks for telling us that before." NChick commented. "So if normal weapons are ineffective and we can't use guns, how do we kill them?"

"I know!" Linkara held a flintlock pistol in his hand. He took aim at a demon running toward him, and pulled the trigger; a beam of white energy shot from the flintlock's barrel, blowing a clean hole through the demon's head and dropping it instantly. But like Joe's chaingun, Linkara's magic gun ran out of energy fairly quickly, forcing him to discard it.

"Now that I think about it, demons are usually weak to holy weapons, right? Or was that cold iron?" NChick said. She generated a simple pike, but she made sure to make the tip of the spike out of cold iron and imbued it with non-specific 'holy energy'. One of these things seemed to work, since it easily skewered a couple of demons. NChick finished them off with a holy iron shortsword, decapitating them in one fell swoop.

Following her lead, Joe picked up his empty chaingun and converted it into an iron broadsword imbued with the same vague holy energy. The enhanced strength offered by the transformation let him wield it with ease, and he took out a couple of demons with several broad slices.

_Magic is all about belief. If you believe strongly enough that your holy weapons or cold iron will harm Demons, then your belief in their strength will enhance them. But at the same time, worked iron is an important part of your civilization's technology, and everything from the simplest tools to complex weapons are anathema to Demons._

"Again, totally exploitable." Spoony generated a crossbow and sent a few bolts through a demon's head, then spun around and decapitated another demon with a longsword in the other hand. A couple of demons took advantage of Spoony's blind spot and jumped on him, but they were felled by a couple of well-placed headshots by the Critic's now-magical handgun. Their corpses fell on Spoony, knocking him to the ground, but Linkara ran in and grabbed one of the corpses, dragging it off of his friend.

"Thanks, bud." Spoony said as he got up and slashed another demon.

"You know, I honestly expected these guys to be tougher." Linkara said. "Then again, we have hax weapon powers, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

By this point, the twenty or so demons had been reduced to five, and though the five Rangers had all mostly run out of MP, they still had effective melee weapons. The demons had a number of natural weapons, but the Ranger powers also included extra defense that their horns, claws and fangs could not easily pierce. They decided to retreat through another flash of light.

"Isn't this around where the big monster shows up?" the Critic wondered aloud.

"Yeah, usually. Hey Zona, where's our Zords?" Linkara asked the open air.

_...Zords?_ Even through telepathy, they could tell that Zona was vaguely confused.

"Yeah, you know, giant robots that combine into a bigger robot. I thought you were familiar with Power Rangers?" Linkara said.

_I looked up a brief synopsis on Wikipedia when you mentioned it. But..._

_Hold that thought, folks! I'm detecting a huge magical chain reaction to the northeast! _Prospo's worried voice replaced Zona's in their head._ The Demon must have created those underlings to distract you while it broke the last remnants of its seal!_

"Yeah, that sounds about right." the Critic said. "Okay, take us to it so we can defeat it with our giant robot or whatever."

_About that... We thought we had more time before the Demon broke out, so we didn't have time to prepare... Zords._ Zona said.

"Why do we even need giant robots anyways?" NChick asked. "We have these blessed weapons or whatever, won't those hurt the Demon?"

_Yes, they will. I am sorry to ask you to do this, but we need you to keep the Demon occupied for a few minutes. We will prepare an adequate weapon, but it will take time._ Zona said. Another door of light appeared in front of them.

"Wait, did she use magic to surf Wikipedia?" Spoony pointed out as the five of them entered the door of light.

On the other side was a babbling river in a lush forest. The eponymous Chorus Falls were rather uninspiring - they were only about 10 feet high, which would probably be enough to mess you up if you fell down them, but they weren't much to just look at.

What was more notable was the shaggy back of an enormous goat-like creature, emerging from a purple-and-gold circle a short distance away. More minor red-skinned demons surrounded it, chanting in a language that hurt the ears of the Rangers just by hearing it. The door of light appeared with a loud bang, alerting the demons; some of them broke off to engage the Rangers, while the others kept up the unholy ceremony to bring their master back to the world of men.

Fortunately, the Rangers had kept their weapons, and they were still effective against the minor demons. Spoony once again wielded a poleaxe, while the Critic had switched his handgun for a long scythe, and Linkara had taken Spoony's longsword. With the five of them working together, the minor demons didn't stand a chance. Once they were suitably maimed and dispatched, the bodies of the demons faded into a golden mist, which was drawn back into the body of the actual Demon.

"Magical constructs, I guess." Spoony said. "Shaggy there must be absorbing them back into himself."

"...Shaggy?" Joe asked.

"Don't these Power Rangers monsters always have stupid names like Eye Guy or Goldar or whatever?" Spoony said, glancing at Linkara.

"Well, since they're Demons, I was thinking we should name this one Baphomet, since it's a goat thing." Linkara said.

"Uh, less talking, more helping me, please!" NChick shouted as she speared one of the demons around the summoning circle. The rest of the Rangers rushed over to help her, but before they could dispatch all of the demons, a wall of black fire forced them back.

The Demon fully emerged from the circle. Its head was adorned with horns of black stone, and its eyes blazed with hellfire; it also had fairly prominent tusks, and its feet were more like an elephant's than a goat's. A single snort from the Demon's nostrils extinguished the black fire around; it reared its head back and cried in the language of demons, the sheer wrongness of which forced all five Rangers onto their knees.

_**"HUMANS."**_ the Demon snorted in distorted English. Even in their native tongue, the words of the Demon split their ears.

The Critic struggled to get back on his feet, propping himself up with his scythe. He weakly pointed the scythe at the Demon, who regarded him with a mix of disgust and amusement.

_**"SO HUMANS WITH THE TALENT STILL EXIST IN THIS WORLD. YOUR TALENT IS BORROWED, THOUGH... INTERESTING."**_ The Demon reared up on its back legs and slammed down on the ground, uprooting dozens of trees and sending the Rangers flying. Once again, the Critic was the first to get back up, though the other Rangers quickly followed.

"Listen up, ugly. We've done a pretty good job dominating the world, and we're not about to let some overgrown sheep take our place." the Critic weakly taunted, pointing his finger at the Demon. "So why don't you go back into your hole and sleep for another few thousand years? Because believe me, you do not want to fuck with us."

_**"YES, YOU HUMANS ARE JUST AS PROUD AS I REMEMBER."**_ the goat said, almost impressed by the Critic's bravado. **_"I WILL GIVE YOU THE HONOR OF A QUICK DEATH. TAKE YOUR LAST MOMENTS TO PRAY TO WHATEVER GODS YOU WORSHIP."_**

A black flame ignited between the Demon's horns. The Rangers all charged toward the Demon, but an invisible barrier impeded their progress; Joe swung futilely at the wall with his broadsword, but the Demon's magic was too powerful.

The Demon took a deep breath, and exhaled a blazing black inferno that completely torched the surrounding woods. The Rangers cringed as they felt the intense heat wash over them.

But they were unharmed.

Standing in front of them was Zona and Prospo, who were pouring all of their energy into a white barrier. The Demon focused its black flames on the barrier, but Zona and Prospo held fast.

"Rangers!" Zona shouted over the roaring flames. "We have prepared a weapon! Quickly, use it before our spell fails!"

A massive bazooka-like weapon rested on the ground. It was at least as wide around as a human and about three times as long, and the barrel was filled with lenses made of purple quartz.

The Rangers got to their feet. The bazooka had five sets of handles, two on one side and three on the other; each Ranger grabbed one handle and hoisted it above their shoulders.

"How the hell do we use this?" the Critic asked.

"Don't think, feel!" Zona shouted back. "Combine your power and fuel it with your hearts!"

Even though they had no idea what she meant, the Rangers focused what remained of their power into the bazooka. Sure enough, something inside it began to whir, and the quartz lenses lit up with pure magical energy.

"NOW! FIRE!" the Critic yelled. Just as Zona and Prospo's barrier failed, a massive beam of energy fired from the barrel of the Combine Bazooka, easily countering and piercing through the Demon's black flames.

_**"NO!"**_ The Demon roared. The Combine Bazooka's beam struck it right in the mouth and exploded out of its back. The beam fired for a good 5 seconds, destroying most of what the Demon called its internal organs; it launched the black fireball between its horns at the Rangers in a last-ditch attempt to take them with it, but Prospo conjured a massive glowing baseball bat and swung it, knocking the fireball back at the Demon. The black fireball exploded, scorching the Demon and burning off most of its wool.

The combined assault had been enough to wreck its body to the point of uselessness. But the Demon was not yet dead; as long as it remained unsealed, it would eventually be able to recover. Even if it took over 200 years, the Demon would once again walk the world, spewing black flames of wrath and scorching the earth into ash.

"Rangers..." Zona said weakly. "You alone have the power to permanently destroy the Demons. Use your watches..."

The Rangers dropped the Combine Bazooka on the ground. Their watches began to glow in their respective colors; instinctively, they knew to point the dials at the direction of the Demon.

The watches fired beams of light at the Demon's body, disintegrating it bit by bit. The Demon gave one last pained snort as the Rangers' light permanently extinguished its burning hatred.

"...Fuck." Spoony said. The other Rangers nodded, agreeing with his assessment of the battle.

"Excellent work." Zona said, propping herself up with her ruby staff. "You have proven yourselves worthy of the powers you wield. In time, more Demons will break their seals... but until then, we must rest and recover."

Prospo opened up another door of light, and the seven exhausted men and women walked through it, back to Zona's Sanctuary. Though battered physically and mentally, the Rangers were still alive; and after gaining magic powers and killing an ancient evil goat, that was really all that mattered at the end of the day.


	3. Good Times With Weapons

Lindsay woke up. She'd had a rather fitful sleep, not helped by the workout she'd got the day before: stabbing demons with a magical spear wasn't exactly a standard exercise, but her body was sore nonetheless. She got out of bed and opened the curtains, and stared out into a beautiful starscape, with a multicolored nebula dominating most of the sky.

Zona's Sanctuary was apparently stuck in a pocket dimension somewhere, though it was anchored to Chorus Falls to prevent from drifting off into the void or something. (Prospo had explained it all yesterday, but she was so tired by the end of the day that she barely remembered anything he'd said.) The rooms of the Sanctuary weren't directly connected; instead, a portal network of those light doors let them travel from one room to another.

Lindsay threw on a blue bathrobe and stepped outside. Her other four comrades-in-arms were all still sleeping. The hallway was illuminated by a soft glowing light in a lantern hanging from the ceiling; since she couldn't see her shadow, she guessed that it somehow shed the same amount of light on everything in the hallway at once. Whatever, a wizard did it or something. She stepped onto a raised platform at the end of the hallway, and a light door opened to take her to the kitchen.

Waiting in the kitchen was Zona, dressed in an aqua-colored silk robe, sitting at a checkered table sipping tea and reading an old magic tome. Prospo, dressed in a bright red bathrobe, was busy cooking something over by the stove, though he had to stand on a stepping-stool to reach the top. The kitchen was oddly modern, with modern decor and appliances; again, she figured magic had to be involved somewhere.

"Ah, good morning, Lindsay!" Prospo chirped. "I'm making some pancakes. Would you like?"

"Uh, sure." Lindsay said. She took a seat at the table. "I kinda figured that you guys would just, you know, magic up some food or something."

"Food is rather tricky to conjure." Zona said, setting down her book. She picked up a simple wooden stick and waved it around while chanting something; a plate with a well-done steak appeared in front of her. "It's fairly easy to make something look like a steak, but to get the right flavor, texture, smell... it's rather finicky. It's usually just easier to cook it." Zona put the wand down, and the steak disappeared. "But I'm sorry for lecturing you, dear. Would you like anything to drink?"

"How about some orange juice?"

"Coming up." Zona pointed her wand at the fridge door, which opened as a jug of orange juice floated towards them; she pointed her wand at the cupboards, bringing a large glass over to them as well. The jug poured its contents into the glass, and floated back to the fridge, which closed automatically. "Not to say that magic doesn't have its use in the kitchen." she said, smiling a bit as Lindsay sipped her juice.

"Yeah, no kidding." Lindsay said. "So, not to bug you or anything this early, but... how does your magic work, exactly? Do you just point at something and it happens?"

"Ah, you're curious." Zona had a big, almost childish grin on her face. "Well, all humans have some magical potential. For the most part though, it's subtle... things like aptitudes, charisma, good and bad luck. They happen naturally, but most of us can sort of unconsciously enhance them with magic. It takes lifetimes of study and training to learn how to throw fireballs or conjure food, and that's just for the basics."

"Yeah, sounds about right." Lindsay said, sipping her juice again. "I'm guessing that it would be easier if magic wasn't in decline, or whatever?"

"Partially, yes." Zona said. "Sealing the Demons took a lot of magic energy, and it takes thousands of years for it to naturally replenish. And even if the Demons had been destroyed rather than sealed, it would still take more than a human lifetime to become a proper Wizard. So civilization went down the path of technology instead, and they're all the better for it, I think."

"That's kinda debatable, but whatever. So how many Wizards are there?"

"Less than a hundred that I personally know of. We've only managed to persist for so long because we've been extending our lives with magic." Zona thoughtfully sipped her tea. "But I suspect that the Demons returning are a sign of some sort. I don't know if it'll usher in a new age of magic, or destroy it completely... but that's neither here nor there. We need both magic and technology to defeat them."

"Oh, and there's seven Great Wizards, one for each continent!" Prospo added. "But poor old Rasa, he doesn't get much respect..."

"The Antarctic Great Wizard?" Lindsay inquired.

"Yes." Zona grinned again. "He's a bit of a joke among the Wizards, but he's also the oldest of us. He's roughly... hmm, 2300 years old or so?"

"Why would you even want to live that long?" Lindsay said. "Er, sorry, no offense."

"None taken. I'm only 1600 myself, though the years tend to blur a bit." Zona's eyes drifted for a moment, but she quickly snapped back to reality. "And the youngster over there's practically a baby at 500."

"Yeah yeah." Prospo picked up his own wand and levitated a stack of pancakes over to the table. "There you go! I might not be much of a Wizard, but I'm a hell of a cook!"

"Indeed you are. Much better than I am, anyways." Zona said as she grabbed a few pancakes from the stack. "I've had quite a while to practice, but I never can seem to get the hang of cooking. I suppose I'm lucky that most of my apprentices are excellent chefs."

"Ha, that's probably the only reason you took me as an apprentice!" Prospo joked.

Lindsay took a bite of her pancakes. Sure enough, they were delicious; she briefly wondered if a bad cook could make their food taste better with magic, but her mind wandered to other seemingly-mundane applications of magic.

"Why hide it?" Lindsay asked. "Sorry. Uh, why don't you share your magic with the world, instead of hiding?"

"That's actually a bit of a sore spot with the Great Wizards." Prospo said, over the sound of sizzling sausages. "Her Wizardness and Flamel are all for sharing magical knowledge with everyone else, but Rasa and most of the regular old Wizards don't think they could use it effectively. Plus, since we're all keeping our lives extended with magic, we can't really stay in one place for a long time, so most of us have built pocket dimensions like the Sanctuary."

"I dunno, that just seems like a really cliche response." Lindsay remarked. "Again, no offense, but if you have knowledge, why not share it with everyone else?"

Zona remained silent on the matter.

"Sorry." Lindsay said. She realized that she'd struck a nerve. "I'm sorry, I'm just used to nitpicking, but I really didn't mean to offend you or anything."

"No, it's quite alright." Zona said, the smile returning to her face. "You're curious and strong-willed. I like that in people. In fact, I think you might make a better apprentice than Prospo."

"Hey!" Prospo mock-complained. Zona chuckled a bit, and returned to her pancakes. They ate in silence for a bit, until Spoony groggily stumbled in.

"Aw man, it smells so good in here." Spoony said, still half-asleep. "I can't even remember the last time I had breakfast." Spoony was briefly distracted by Zona in a nightgown, but his mind just as quickly switched gears to the plate of sausages on the table.

"What are you in the mood for, Noah? Eggs, pancakes, anything else?" Prospo asked. But Spoony had already dug into the sausages, and he couldn't be bothered with anything else. Prospo went back to making pancakes, and one by one, the other Rangers made their way to the kitchen.

"Damn that was good!" Joe exclaimed as he finished his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. "Best breakfast I've had in years!"

"Oh my god, this is the greatest breakfast I've ever had in my life!" the Critic said in his Chester A. Bum voice, half mocking Joe.

"Yes, this is quite good." Linkara wiped a bit of jam off his chin as he finished off his toast. "Although if I know my tropes, you're going to tell us that we'll need every calorie, because we're going to be training today."

"Nothing slips by you, does it, Lewis?" Zona chuckled. "Yes, I did plan on instructing you a bit more on how to use your powers today. However, before I do, I'd like to make sure that everyone here is willing to stay under my tutelage. As I said yesterday, you're free to leave whenever you like, but if you do plan on staying, I would like to make sure you're serious about it."

"Well I'll stay." Linkara said. "But uh, we'll be free to go back to our normal lives, right?"

"Of course, but we'll discuss that afterwards. How about you, Joe?"

"Honestly, I don't think I could give this up even if I had the chance. I'll stick with it for now, at least." Joe said.

"And I guess I will too. It's a lot more interesting than my normal life, that's for sure." Spoony said.

"I'm not so sure. I know we're the only hope of the planet and all that, but it's honestly a lot of pressure." the Critic said.

"I completely understand, Doug." Zona said. "If you don't feel like you can handle this, there's no shame in bowing out."

"Well... I'm interested to see where this goes. But I still have a life and stuff, and as important as this is, I've still gotta live normally and stuff."

"I'm with Doug here." Lindsay said. "This really is fascinating, but if it's just going to be fighting to the death all the time, I don't know if I'm cut out for it."

"I see." Zona said. "At the moment, all of the seals on the Demons are still intact, though most of them are steadily weakening. For now, if you choose to stay on, I would like to have you train here one day a week, as well as answering the call if a Demon is about to break out. The rest of the Great Wizards are monitoring the seals very closely, and we should be able to give you a rough estimate of when they're going to break, but magic can be unpredictable... so you might have to come out of nowhere."

"When they break?" Linkara said. "So they're going to break for sure."

"Unfortunately, yes, most of them are going to break within the next year or so." Zona looked into her teacup. "I cannot begin to apologize to you for bringing you here under such dire circumstances, but the other Great Wizards have dragged their feet in regards to the seals. They didn't want to tamper with them, even though they were weakening... but when the first one broke, we had no choice. You five are a last resort, and I have received considerable flak from the other Wizards in involving you in this conflict. But if you're successful enough, I hope that the other Wizards will follow our lead and recruit Rangers of their own, which will hopefully lighten your load."

"Wait, first one?" Spoony said. "Where did it break? And shouldn't we have heard about it?"

"The first seal to break was on the Moon." Zona said. "And the Demon that escaped was... powerful. We managed to place considerable limits on his power, but those are a stopgap at best. We will eventually have to confront him, but for the moment, he is a non-issue."

"I dunno, sounds like a pretty big issue to me." the Critic remarked.

"To put it bluntly, you are not yet powerful enough to engage him. For now, we must concentrate on destroying the Demons that break their seals on Earth."

"Sounds dangerous." Lindsay said. "But one day a week, plus random calls. I think I can fit that into my *ahem* busy schedule. I'm guessing that it'll get tougher as we keep going, but by then, we'll have other teams, right?"

"Yeah, I think I'll stick with this too." the Critic said. "After all, I'm the leader, and I've gotta show a brave face for everyone else, right?"

"Leader, right." Spoony chuckled. "If the Nostalgia Critic's anything to go by, you're a mildly incompetent leader instead of an outright terrible one."

"Yeah, because he's exaggerated, very funny." the Critic said dismissively. "But yeah, let's get to the training. I'd love to see how exactly we can best apply our, erm, 'hax weapon powers' as Lewis put it."

* * *

><p>After everyone got changed and showered up, they met back in the Sanctuary's Atrium, a vast grassy field underneath the stars. (Despite that, the light level was comparable to midday. Zona handwaved it away by saying it was magic.) There were some greenhouses and plant nurseries off to the side, but those would be protected by barriers during the course of the training session.<p>

"Alright everyone! Time to learn a bit of magic!" Prospo said. Zona sat back, reading the same old tome that she'd had at breakfast; she'd delegated Prospo to this task, mostly because he was gaining experience from this as well.

Prospo stuck out his hand. "First of all, I want to say that you're lucky for the watches' Weapon Generation spell. Trust me, conjuration is a lot harder the real way. But I digress! First, let's practice by summoning a simple weapon, like a wooden staff." Prospo moved his other hand in a strange motion, and a simple wooden staff appeared in his open hand. The Rangers, who had already morphed, did the same.

"Uh, we already did this yesterday." Joe pointed out.

"Yes, but understanding theory's a big part of magic. The Weapon Generation spell makes it easy for you guys, but it's also pretty inefficient. Once you understand how it works, you'll be able to summon really complex weapons for cheap!"

"Wait, when you say 'cheap', you mean like a low summoning cost?" Spoony said. "So what, we basically have MP meters?"

"Well, if you wanna put it that way, then yeah. But I like to think that magic's more like a muscle! If you exercise it regularly, you're able to hold more and more in your body at one time." Prospo clasped his hands together, and an aura of white energy briefly surrounded him. He moved his hands and directed the aura into the air in front of him, and it gradually took the shape of an old-school television.

"Huh." Spoony remarked. He walked over to the TV and turned it on; it was tuned to an old black-and-white show that he didn't recognize. "So did you summon this, or create it from scratch?"

"Scratch!" Prospo proudly proclaimed. "They're actually pretty simple, just some vacuum tubes and a receiver, but it takes a lot of skill to directly create anything with only your memory to go on."

Prospo dismissed the TV, which disintegrated into energy.

"That's another technique you should know. If you guys run out of magic, you can grab a magically-created item and take back some of the energy you used to make it. You don't get all of it back though, you know, thermodynamics and stuff. Even magic follows rules!

"Anyways, next lesson!" Prospo conjured a flaming sword. "You can use Weapon Generation to add traits like 'on fire' to weapons. But it's not quite as simple as just making a flaming sword. Now, who remembers high school science enough to tell me what you need to make fire?"

"Fuel, heat, oxygen in the right concentration." Joe said. "We can create all of those things?"

"Yep, but it requires a constant source of magic to create the heat and fuel. Oxygen's not usually a problem, unless you're fighting at high altitudes or in space." Prospo dismissed the flaming sword.

The Rangers spent the next few hours learning the finer points of their Weapon Generation spell. The flaming swords were mastered fairly easily, and both Linkara and Lindsay (the two most magically-minded of the group) managed to get blue flame, which besides looking cool also meant that they were a lot hotter.

But that's not to say the other three were lagging behind. They too found their specialties: both Spoony and Joe added extra punch to their weapons (Spoony by honing the edge and Joe by shifting the weight around mid-swing), and the Critic still preferred handguns, but he managed to start conjuring the bullets on his own without the Weapon Generation spell.

"Wow, you guys are naturals!" Prospo said at the end of the day. The Rangers had all used up their 'MP', and they were all pretty exhausted too; casting magic did take some physical effort, not to mention the few rounds of sparring with flaming weapons.

"Indeed." Zona said, setting down her book and walking over to the group. "The watches and Weapon Generation spells help quite a bit, but I suspect that you won't need them before long. I'd still recommend keeping them though, as your transformed states have physical benefits and there's some other handy spells in the watches, but you'll never be caught off-guard."

"Yeah, no kidding. I thought you said it took hundreds of years to master these kinds of things?" Lindsay asked.

"Weapon Generation is a very complex spell." Zona said. "Even Prospo here probably couldn't sustain it for more than a few minutes. The watches essentially take the details out of materialization, so while you're still casting it, you have a huge helping hand."

"So it's like leeching XP from a higher-level player. Sounds kinda like cheating, actually." Spoony said.

"I suppose it is, but we need every advantage we can get. Now then, shall we retire for dinner?"

* * *

><p>After another hearty meal courtesy of Prospo, the five Rangers, Zona and Prospo stood in the Main Gateway of the Sanctuary. An enormous set of iron doors was the defining feature of the aptly-named Gateway, as it controlled all incoming and outcoming traffic to and from the Sanctuary.<p>

"These doors will take you back to the hotel in Chorus Falls." Zona said. "You may use your watches to create a light door back to the Main Gateway at any time. Today is Sunday by your calendar, so if none of you have any objections, I would like to make Sunday our training day. If you have to miss it, please contact me first."

"Uh, I feel kinda stupid for asking this, but uh..." Linkara scratched his head. "What about secret identities? I mean, should we tell anyone we're Rangers, or should we try and keep it a secret?"

"Hmm." Zona pondered for a moment. "I would at the very least advise against advertising it openly. You can tell your family and closest friends if they question you about it, but only if you trust them not to spread the knowledge. I suspect that the Demon near Chorus Falls has already caused quite the uproar, and the existence of the Review Rangers will not be secret for long... but until we can establish something a bit more stable both among the regular world and among the Wizards... oh, listen to me prattle on. Tell only those who you trust for now."

"Okay, sounds good." Linkara said. The dials on the watches all glowed yellow-white, and the Main Gateway opened up, revealing a large light door.

"I doubt that they'll be ready by next week, but we will be working on the Zords as much as we can." Zona said as they crossed the threshold. "Just as a warning, in case we are forced to use them in an incomplete state."

But none of the Rangers could respond, as the Main Gateway closed behind them. Prospo and Zona turned away.

"So what do you think?" Prospo asked. "Did we make the right choice?"

"Yes, I think so." Zona smiled. "They have good hearts and minds. They have not yet seen what the Demons are capable of, but if they rely on one another, I think that they will all make it through. And whether it means the end or a new beginning... well, that will be up to them."

Prospo opened up another light door, and they both stepped through it. They had a lot of work to do.


	4. Questions

A light door opened in the old office building. The five Rangers stepped out of it, and the door shut behind them, leaving them in the musty darkness of the 'real' world.

"You know, I'm almost convinced that that was some sort of really bad trip." Spoony said.

"Considering we still have these watches, I'm gonna say it was real." Linkara said, fiddling with the dial on his green watch. "Though I will admit, turning into Power Rangers and fighting an evil goat does seem like a drug trip."

"Speaking of which, we should see how the American media, in all their infinite wisdom, decided to to handle that demon." Lindsay said sarcastically.

Acting as inconspicuously as possible (or attempting to be inconspicuous, at least), the five of them exited the derelict office and stepped onto the street. Oddly enough, the sun was only starting to rise, even though they'd spent all day training.

"Oh, so it's like that room in Dragon Ball Z." Spoony commented. "Fucking wizards, always gotta show up the muggles."

"You sound a bit bitter." the Critic remarked.

"A little bit, I guess." Spoony said. "I mean, we pretty much got drafted into this, and I don't buy that she'll just let us go whenever we want. At the very least, she'll probably wipe our memories to uphold the masquerade."

"I was talking to her before breakfast, and she seemed like she was pretty unhappy with the 'masquerade'." Lindsay pointed out. "Speaking of masquerades..."

Lindsay slipped 50 cents into a newspaper box, and took out a copy of the local paper, simply titled the Chorus. The front-page article was titled 'Freak Wildfire Has Experts Baffled'.

"Hmm..." Lindsay skimmed through the article. "Yeah, they're blaming it on an isolated wildfire. Apparently, no one actually saw the battle."

"Or they did, and they've been silenced." Linkara said. "But wait, didn't the demon uproot a bunch of trees? And what about the summoning circle? That should've still been there. You'd think someone would've picked up on that."

"Wow, a cover-up." Spoony said, entirely unimpressed. "They probably have a bunch of Wizards as damage control for stuff like this."

"Or nobody saw it, and they're just printing something to try and make sense of it all." Joe said. "You know, Occam's Razor. Was it caused by freak wildfire, or Power Rangers and a witch fighting an ancient goat demon? I'd definitely go with the former if I hadn't been there."

"You know what Occam's Razor is, Joe?" the Critic chuckled, getting a dirty look from Joe. "Sorry, just kidding."

The five Rangers walked back to the hotel in the middle of town. It was a Sunday morning in a rural town, so nothing was open, and besides them, nobody was out and about yet. There was a bit of fog on the ground, making it feel almost eerie; the morning sun vanquished the horrible night after long, but the air still felt unnaturally cold. Linkara noted more than once that it felt like they were on the set of a b-movie, but they made it to the hotel unharmed.

Spoony's plane left in Pittsburgh at 1 PM, so they spent the last few hours in the hotel room just hanging out. They mostly stayed off the topic of the events of the last couple of days, but as the morning came to a close, it all weighed heavily on their minds.

"At least we'll get to see each other every week." Linkara noted. "Maybe even more, depending on when the Demons break out."

"Yeah, that's good, I guess." Spoony said. "But seriously, how are we going to do this? This isn't a fucking comic book, someone's going to notice that we're all missing at the same time on Sundays. And what if we get a call while we're at a convention or in public or whatever? Even if we only tell our families, someone else is gonna notice eventually."

"I'm more worried about how the government's gonna react to a bunch of superpowered nerds running around killing world-ending demons." the Critic said. "Will they cooperate? Or are they gonna hold us under some sort of obscure law and try to force us to give them our powers? I mean, the point of having a secret identity in the first place is to stop that kind of shit from happening, right?"

"Not to mention the collateral damage that we'll inevitably cause." Lindsay said. "They're gonna tag that on us too. And if they don't back us up, they'll probably declare us criminals and try to arrest us. And if and when our identities become known - that's inevitable, really - we'll either have to go on the run or hand ourselves over."

"I never thought of that." Linkara said dishearteningly. "But at the same time... we're the only ones who can stop the Demons quickly and efficiently. Even if they're weak to conventional weapons, the armed forces won't be able to kill them. They'll regenerate eventually, and as more and more Demons break out of their seal, they won't be able to keep them down."

"Yeah, and deployment takes time." Joe added. "We can move anywhere in the world through light doors, and we can engage the Demons before they do too much damage. So even if they don't like us, we're still doing the right thing, right?"

"I dunno, there's still too many things we don't know about this conflict." the Critic said. "But I think you're right, Joe. We've got the power to stop them where no one else can, so we're pretty much obligated."

Despite their various hangups about the whole Ranger thing, they all agreed on that point. Even their hard-earned cynicism couldn't dilute the fact that the Demons wanted all of them dead, and if no one else stopped them, they would get their way.

The five Rangers packed up their luggage and piled back into the rental car, making the hour-long trip back to Pittsburgh. Their flights were leaving throughout the day, so they left one-by-one, saying goodbye to their friends as they left to board their planes. Linkara's was the last to leave, and as he walked toward the gate, he was stopped by a burly security guard.

"Huh, another guy with that same watch." the man commented. "Where'd you get them?"

"Oh, we picked them up as a souvenir from a store in Chorus Falls." Linkara said coolly.

"Neat. I haven't been up there in a while." he said. "I just need you to take it off to pass through the metal detector."

"Of course." Linkara slipped the watch off of his wrist and handed it to the man, and stepped through the metal detector.

"Wow, this is really fancy-lookin. Must've cost you a pretty penny." Without even thinking, the man slipped it on his wrist.

"Uh, excuse me?" Linkara asked impatiently.

"Oh, sorry. Just uh, it's been a long day. Sorry bud." The man hastily gave the watch back to Linkara, ignorant of its greater purpose.

Or was he? Linkara wondered as he boarded the plane. It was a magic item, after all; could other people unconsciously sense that too? Was it like the One Ring, compelling people to take it for a more sinister purpose? He was pretty sure that Zona mentioned something about them being calibrated to only work for them, but what would happen if he died and someone took it from his corpse, or one of the Demons took it and overrode it with powerful magic of their own?

Even his enthusiasm for being a real-life Power Ranger didn't stop him from wondering about the finer points that Zona had just kind of glossed over or neglected to mention. Like the demons: where did they come from? Did they just appear one day and start terrorizing the pre-history humans for the lulz? And what was their overall goal? The goat demon made it pretty clear that he was gonna kill all humans, but what about after that? Surely they have some sort of reason to kill humans?

Linkara would have to question Zona more when they met back up on Sunday. Until then, he had other things to do. He pulled out his laptop and started to edit the next AT4W episode; he'd filmed the live-action bits before leaving for Chorus Falls, and he intended to edit it while he was there... but of course, that didn't happen. But even if he was a Power Ranger now, he still had a job to do and bills to pay in the interim.

* * *

><p>Linkara pulled into the driveway of his house. The sun had set about an hour ago, and more fog had rolled in; as he stepped out of his car and grabbed his luggage, he got the same feeling of unnatural coldness that he had had in Chorus Falls. He instinctively ran his fingers over his morpher, reassuring him that he was ready for a fight.<p>

Cautiously, he did a once-over around the house. None of the windows were broken, and the door was still locked when he jiggled the doorknob. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door; there weren't any lights on either, and from what he could see in the darkness, there didn't seem to be anything out of place.

"Hello?" he called out. No one answered.

Linkara flipped on the light and set his luggage down in the hallway. He grabbed a flashlight from the drawer and checked all of the rooms; the living room, both bedrooms, the office, the bathroom and the basement were all clear. He kept his free hand close to his watch, just in case, but nothing jumped out at him.

It was still cold. He threw on an extra sweater as he took his luggage to his room, but it barely helped. As he was unpacking, he walked over to a thermostat and cranked it up a few degrees - only to feel a cold hand on his shoulder.

"EYAAAAH!" he yelped. He instinctively turned around and swung his flashlight at the figure behind him, but the figure caught the flashlight and crushed it with his bare hands.

The man standing behind him was a tall humanoid figure, roughly 8 feet tall. His skin was gray and craggy, almost like he'd been carved from a mountain of some sort, and his hair appeared to be made of some sort of bunch of vines twisted into a crude ponytail. His eyes were large and yellow, and he had no nose or ears to speak of save for small slits in the appropriate positions. He wore strange armor made of a dark, glassy material, and a sword as large as he was was attached directly to his back.

**"Hello, human."** the figure said. His voice was deep and rough, but it lacked the accent that made the goat demon's voice inherently wrong in any language.

"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!" Linkara held up his watch, but to his surprise, nothing happened.

**"I've disabled your Talent for the moment, human. I have no intention of fighting you here... as much as I want to. Look at you, little human. You're so weak. I could wring the life out of your pathetic little body with but one finger."** The figure's grin widened, baring his teeth, which were blunt and made of the same glassy material as his armor.

"Who- who are you?" Linkara cried, keeping his back against the wall. He reached for something, anything he could use as a weapon, but the Demon's hand reached to the hilt of his sword as a warning.

**"You humans and your names. Even in the face of death, you demand an introduction."** The Demon let out a deep laugh. **"If you wish to give a name to your nightmares, call me Helkema of the Earth. I have come to deliver a message to you."**

Helkema of the Earth reached into another pocket, pulling out a small green crystal ball. He threw it on the ground, shattering it and releasing a sweet-smelling white mist. Linkara slumped to the ground, unable to move any part of his body.

**"We realize that you will defend your planet with your lives if need be."** Helkema said, scowling distastefully. **"But remember that it is Us who created and rightfully wield the Talent. Should you choose to expand your ranks beyond a group of thieving children and their whore of a mother, We will fight back accordingly."**

The white mist dissipated into the room, the sweet smell lingering as a reminder. Helkema turned his back to Linkara, who could do nothing but stare at the back of the Demon before him.

**"I look forward to crushing your group in battle, little human. Do not die before I have my turn."**

Helkema vanished before Linkara's eyes. The paralyzing effect had worn off as soon as the Demon's presence left his house, but Linkara could do nothing but sit on the ground, alone, terrified.


	5. Control

Bright.

Ugh, it's bright.

The morning sun shone in through the window of Joe's room, stirring him from his rest. He groggily stumbled out of bed and walked over to the blinds... but they were gone. The charred remains of what were once blinds hung uselessly from the top of the window, and the ashes were scattered across the floor.

"What the fuck?" Joe said aloud. He looked around, trying to figure out the source of the fire, but nothing jumped out at him, except for the unnaturally bright sun. Joe shielded his eyes as he tried looking at the sun, but it was too bright, and too hot.

Joe's bed was set ablaze. He ran to the bathroom and filled a pail full of water, but by the time he got back, the fire had spread to every corner of his room. Joe futilely threw the water on the blaze, but the flames happily drank the water and continued spreading.

And then they took over Joe. His skin boiled, his blood curdled, licks of flame spread into his brain, melting it into goo...

BURN, BABY, BURN!

"Bwah!" Joe shot up in bed. The phone on his nightstand was buzzing, blaring an old song about disco infernos. He reached toward the phone, putting it to his ear.

"Hullo? Yeah, I'm- sorry, I slept in, I was- yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right over. I-yeah. Love you too." Joe hung up. He'd spent most of the night filming and editing his latest review. He barely made it up the stairs and to his bed before passing out cold; he hadn't even changed out of his clothes.

Joe looked out the window. It was midday, and his room was perfectly fine: there wasn't even a hint of smoke in the air. The dream that woke him up was quickly fading from his memory... something about burning. It probably wasn't anything important.

He showered, changed into some clean clothes and grabbed a banana on the way out. They'd probably go out for lunch or something, but damn it, he was hungry now. Joe made it all the way to his car before he realized exactly what he forgot.

The watch.

Even now, it seemed unreal. He'd received a strange call from his phone, telling him that he was 10,000 dollars richer, and to use some of that money to travel to some town in the middle of nowhere. And there... he'd become a Power Ranger or something. Was that a dream too? No, definitely not. He remembered the heat of the black flames blazing around them, threatening to engulf the entire world and burn it to the ground...

Flames. Yeah, that was his dream, wasn't it? Flames, burning everything.

Joe ran back into his house and grabbed the watch off of his nightstand. It was cold to the touch, and it seemed to feel heavier than usual. The watch's dial emitted a soft white glow as Joe picked it up, seemingly greeting its master; Joe absentmindedly slipped it on and ran back to his car, setting out on the path to his girlfriend's place.

This thing packed some serious magical mojo. Even Joe, a completely untrained human that had been ignorant of magic until about a week ago, could tell that this wasn't any ordinary watch. He'd gotten plenty of strange looks as he proudly wore it around town, though nobody had actually asked him about it. Could everyone else tell it was magical too, or were they just looking at it because it was weird? He figured that it could be either one, really.

Or was it magical at all? It could just as easily be extremely advanced technology, and these Wizards were actually aliens or something. Zona at the very least seemed to have some grasp of technology; it wasn't just the kitchen, but most of the Sanctuary looked like it had been built in the last few years. And they said they were building Zords too, right? He at least knew those were giant robots.

Though what if they were both? Yeah, Magitek. These things could be a combination of magic and technology, since either force alone was too weak to defeat these Demons.

"Hey!"

Joe slammed on the brakes as he almost ran a red light. A pedestrian yelled at him as he barely avoided getting run over.

"Sorry!" Joe yelled back at the pedestrian, who gave him the bird in response.

Weird dreams? Sleeping in? Almost running over people because of daydreams? Was Joe's life turning into a sitcom or something?

The rest of the drive was uneventful, though he made sure to pay more attention to the road. Around 20 minutes later, he pulled up to his girlfriend's place, only to see her waiting on the sidewalk with her arms crossed.

"Hey bay!" Joe said as she climbed into his car. "I'm really sorry, I had to get the Amalur video done last night-"

"It's okay." Amanda said dismissively. "It's your job and all that, I understand. But you really should try and get on a regular sleep schedule."

"Yeah, I know, weird dreams and shit." Joe said. "I dreamt last night that my room was on fire. So, wanna go for lunch somewhere? I'm buyin'!"

"You'd better." Amanda said, smiling slightly. "How about Chick-Fil-A?"

"Haha, okay. Least it's not Sunday."

As Joe drove over to Chick-Fil-A, he kept glancing over to Amanda, and noticed more than once that she was staring right at his watch.

"Where'd you get that?" she asked.

"I thought I told you already. We picked it up in some place when we were in Chorus Falls." Joe had seen Amanda since he came back from Chorus Falls, and he was pretty sure he'd told her the same little lie; he did plan on telling her the truth eventually, but for now, he didn't want to put her in danger.

"Yeah, you did. BUt I don't know, I can't take my eyes off of it. It almost seems like it's, I dunno, magical."

"Eh, yeah, it really does look cool, doesn't it?" Joe stammered. "Sorry bay, I wish I coulda got you one, but there was only five in stock, and the other guys really wanted them..."

"It's okay. Still, it's kinda weird, that they wanted you to go to some place in the middle of nowhere. You're sure there wasn't anything there or anything?"

"Yeah, probably just some prank or something." Joe said. "So I dunno, you wanna go somewhere and sit down to eat? Not that I mind Chick-Fil-A, but you know, we could have a nice lunch. I've heard there's a great Japanese place over on Guadalupe."

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Amanda said. Joe could tell she had something else on her mind.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just- well, I just really want that watch." She put her hand on his wrist.

"Uh, when we get home, I'll look online and see-"

"AH!" Amanda hissed as the watch emitted an intense white light. "OW, WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Huh, you okay?"

"No, it fucking burned me!"

"SHIT!" Joe swerved to the right into the nearest parking lot, again barely missing a couple of pedestrians. He slammed on the brakes, and the car came to a screeching halt in the middle of the lot.

"Shit, you okay?" Joe tried to get a look at her hand, but she seemed to flinch in pain from being touched. She opened the car door and stumbled onto the pavement, scraping her hands and knees as she fell to the ground. As soon as she'd said 'burned', something went off in Joe's mind; it was more than just an emotional response to her pain. It was almost... a premonition.

Joe got out of his car and ran over to Amanda, who was writhing on the ground and screaming in agony. Joe knelt down and tried to pick her up, but his touch only intensified her pain, causing her to cry out in an ear-splitting shriek. It took a few seconds for Joe to realize that her screams of pain were almost exactly like the language of the demons that he'd heard in Chorus Falls.

Without even thinking, Joe removed his watch and grabbed Amanda's arm, attempting in vain to slip it over her wrist. But her flailing and screaming had attracted a crowd; one bystander, wrongly assuming that Joe was mugging her (or worse), grabbed the back of his t-shirt and dragged him off.

"You sick bastard!" The man let go of Joe, only to take a swing at him; Joe caught the man's fist mid-swing.

"Listen man! I need to get this watch on her!" Joe pleaded. The man kneed him in the stomach, dropping Joe instantly. A woman had taken the liberty of calling 911 and the cops, and a couple other people were keeping Joe pinned down to keep him from running.

"No, you don't understand!" Joe shouted. "She's, I don't know, I need to-"

The man who'd kneed Joe in the stomach kneeled down and pried the watch from Joe's clenched fist. Once he'd acquired his prize, a wide grin spread across his face.

The man said something in the same ear-splitting language of the demons, and Amanda immediately stopped moving. Instead, she robotically got to her feet, a blank stare on her face. A ruby-red summoning circle appeared on the ground, and a huge gaping hole opened within it; more red-skinned minor demons climbed out of its depths and onto the warm pavement, screeching inaudibly.

"**Your time is up, human.**" the man said to Joe. He raised his arm to the sky, and one of the minor demons threw a red crystal at his feet, setting him ablaze. The man's insane laughter continued even as he was burnt alive.

"Damnit!" The men holding him down had long since fled, but Joe could get nowhere near the roaring inferno. The minor demons took Amanda's hand and led her toward the blaze. Joe ran at the demons and punched one of them in the face, only succeeding in breaking most of the bones in his hand and forearm in the process.

Another one of the minor demons sneaked up from behind and jumped on Joe's back, holding him in a full nelson. Even though the blinding pain, Joe struggled to get out of the demon's grasp, but it was futile; the demons were much stronger than any normal human.

"WWRRRRAAAHHHHHH!" Joe screamed to the heavens. Bolts of electricity arced across his bare skin, shocking the demon holding him. "GRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!" The electricity intensified, making all of the hair on Joe's body stand on end. The demon lost control of its body for but a second, but it was enough; Joe bodily flung him into the burning man, lighting the demon ablaze.

Joe, blinded by pain and pure rage, ran at the two demons holding Amanda. His intent was nothing less than to horribly murder each and every one of them with his bare hands. More of the minor demons broke away from the summoning circle and lobbed more red crystals at him; he ran right through the flames, though his clothing, skin and hair was singed by even brief contact with the magical flame.

His arms buzzed with electrical charge. Joe pointed his index fingers at the demons holding his girlfriend, firing bolts of lightning from then directly into the demons' hearts. Both of them dropped to the ground, still alive but spasming uncontrollably. Amanda's mouth opened in a silent scream, and her glassy look snapped back to a more regular expression of terror.

"Amanda!" Joe growled. "Get out of here! Take my car, and get as far away as you fuckin' can!"

"Joe, I-"

"I'll explain later!" he shouted. "Get out before you die!"

Amanda silently obeyed, running back to Joe's still-running car. Joe charged at the summoning circle and the demons surrounding it, fully intending to cover her escape with his own life; but to his surprise, the minor demons paid no attention to him or Amanda, instead continuing on summoning whatever Demon they called their master back to the mortal world.

The unholy fires had long since burnt out, though the man within the first of them had been reduced to cinders. The stench of charred meat and bubbling fat snapped Joe out of his murderous rage. He still intended to kill each and every one of them, but with a slightly clearer head, he ran back to the pile of ash where the man once stood and dug around within it, badly burning his other hand.

But he found was he was looking for. The watch glinted in the black ashes, with nary a scratch or even a speck of dirt upon its lustrous surface. Joe's burnt right hand fumbled with the watch, but he managed to slip it over his mangled left hand. He was running on pure adrenaline by this point, but the pain of broken bones and burnt skin was beginning to catch up with him.

"YO JOE!" Joe thrust his arms into the sky, and an aura of black energy enveloped him. A few seconds later, the Black Review Ranger emerged. The intense magical aura got the attention of the demons, some of whom broke off from the circle and charged Joe.

Electricity crackled between the fingers of Joe's white gloves. He pointed his hands at the monstrosities running toward him, firing a bolt of lightning from each of his fingers. The enhanced magical power of his morphed form increased the power of his lightning by several times, and the powered-up bolts charred large swaths of the demons' skin and killed all but one of them instantly. The last one fell to the ground, writing around in pain and screaming in demonic anguish.

Joe looked back, and saw that Amanda was sitting in the driver's seat of his car, transfixed by his transformation. He suspected that plenty of other people had seen him transform, or at least had noticed the horde of demons emerge from a magical hole in the ground; there wouldn't be any "freak forest fire" cover-ups this time.

He noted that the sharp and constant pain in his arms had been reduced to a dull throb, likely due to the suit having some sort of healing magic (or at least magical painkillers). Either way, he didn't plan on engaging the rest of the demons with magical melee weapons; he didn't want to hurt himself even more, and he had lightning magic now, so why not use that?

"Zona! Prospo!" Joe yelled into his watch. "Doug! Lindsay! Lewis! Noah! Anyone? Come in, please!"

"Joe!" Prospo's voice rang inside his head. "Joe, are you alright?"

"No, I'm pretty beaten up, and they're summoning another Demon!" Joe yelled to no one in particular.

"We're picking it up right now! The other Rangers should be on their way!"

But before Prospo was even able to finish his sentence, a light door opened up. The Yellow Review Ranger leapt from it, generating a silver knife in one hand; he tackled another one of the minor demons to the ground, stabbing it several times in the throat. The demon was dead before it hit the ground.

"Noah!" Joe ran over to Spoony and helped him up. "Thanks, bud."

"Hey, sure!" Spoony said, looking at the corpse of the demon he'd killed. Unlike the demons they fought at Chorus Falls, these demons didn't dissolve into energy upon death; their corpses didn't bleed or leak any visible fluids, but their still bodies and blank eyes gave away the fact that they were dead. "If I'm gonna be doing this Ranger gig, I might as well do it right, you know? Dynamic entries and all that shit."

"Yeah, I guess. Listen, I hurt my hands, so I'm gonna hang back and blast 'em with lightning. You keep 'em distracted with weapons, kay?" Joe said.

"Wait, since when could you use lightn-" But Spoony was interrupted by a lunging demon. Spoony ducked, and the demon flew right overhead; his knife grew into a shortsword, and he thrust it into the demon's stomach. The very tip of the shortsword, which was poking out of the demon's back, served as an effective lightning rod for another one of Joe's bolts.

"Foul! I call foul!" Spoony kicked the dead demon over, and grabbed the hilt of the shortsword, pulling it from the demon's corpse with a loud ripping sound. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

"I'd tell you, but then we'd be left wide open for the fuckin demons!" Joe blasted another one with lightning, but missed its vital organs; the demon's arm twitched uncontrollably, but it still managed to tackle Joe to the ground. It raised its arm up, its obsidian claws glinting in the midday sun; but before it could bring them down in Joe's face, a bullet entered one side of its head and went out the other, killing it instantly.

The Red Review Ranger took out another couple demons with his enchanted Desert Eagle, while Spoony switched to a crossbow and took out a couple more with crossbow bolts to the heart. Joe shoved the demon corpse off of him and got back on his feet, but not without reminding him of the condition of his hands; even the suit couldn't dampen that much pain.

"Joe, hang back! We'll handle this from here!" the Green Review Ranger shouted as he too came through another light door. The Blue Review Ranger followed shortly after, and the four of them working together managed to take out the remaining minor demons.

But the red summoning circle still persisted.

"Thanks, guys. I really do appreciate you guys saving my ass." Joe said.

"Hey, any time!" Linkara said. "So, how do we get rid of this circle? I mean, if we stop it now, the Demon'll stay sealed, right?"

_Unfortunately, no_. Zona said, connecting to them all telepathically. _The seal has already been broken. The Demon needs some time to recreate its physical body, but at this point, that should only take another couple of minutes or so._

"Alright then! Zona, send the Combine Bazooka!" the Critic said. "We'll charge it up, and when the Demon comes out, we'll blast it!"

"It's not that easy, Doug." Linkara explained. "The Combine Bazooka's a finishing move. We need to weaken the Demon first before we can use it."

"Uh, question." Lindsay asked. "The longer we fight it, the weaker we'll become, right? So if we use the bazooka right away, while we still have most of our MP, it'll make a stronger attack, right?"

"Yeah, but the Demon will still be at full strength too. It could dodge, or it might be able to survive the blast. Either way, it'll still be alive, and we'll have no energy left." Linkara said. "So if we weaken it first, we have a better chance of destroying it."

"Hold on. Hey Zona, where's our giant robot?" Spoony asked.

_They're not quite finished yet. But Lewis is right about the Combine Bazooka; once the Demon has been weakened, you can stun it with an Eradication spell from your watches, which should give you enough time to charge and fire the Combine Bazooka._

"And another thing, why did I get ligh-"

But Joe's question was once again interrupted as the earth began to shake. The red light of the summoning circle intensified, creating deep cracks in the surrounding pavement.

A small, greenish-brown snake slithered out of the hole, followed by two more. They stopped midway between the circle and the Rangers; the Critic and Spoony shot at the snakes with their respective weapons, but the bullets and bolts bounced harmlessly off of the snakes' scales. Linkara ran toward them, but was repelled by a wall of invisible force as more and more snakes slithered out of the void.

The snakes began to pile on top of one another, taking the shape of a crude humanoid figure. The figure raised its hissing arm, and a simple tan cloak appeared around its head and torso, casting its head in complete darkness. Two small lights shone out from the hood, and the figure started to laugh.

**"Hello, talentless humans. I see that you have still survived to this day, even though the Talent has waned in the long, long years."** The Demon's voice was muffled by the constant hissing of its body, but the Rangers understood it all too well; its voice was partially telepathic in nature, and they could feel it reverbrate inside their bodies.

Despite his rather strange appearance, the Rangers could tell that this guy meant business; even without the raw magical power radiating from his body, they knew that there was no way a man made out of snakes was up to any good. Though he was much smaller than the goat demon they'd fought before, that only meant that his power was concentrated. At the same time, they actually knew how to use their powers now, so even if this guy was stronger, he was also facing a much deadlier team of Rangers.

_Who will prevail in this deadly battle? Will the Rangers use their new skills to come out on top, or will their careers as heroes be gobbled up by this Demon? And will Joe ever find out why he has lightning powers? Find out in the next episode of TGWTG Rangers!_


	6. Why Did It Have To Be Snakes?

_Last time, on TGWTG Rangers, the five Review Rangers faced off against a Demon made out of snakes! How will they handle this frankly ridiculous concept? Find out, on today's episode of TGWTG Rangers!_

"A man made out of snakes? That's what, a CR 3?" Spoony mocked. He pointed his crossbow at the Demon and fired at will, replenishing the bolts with Weapon Generation magic in between. Though he did hit and kill several snakes, they were but a few of many; the dead snakes were absorbed deeper into the Demon's body, leaving him visibly uninjured.

**"Yes, mock me while you can still draw breath. Soon, your lungs will be filled by my venom, and your body will be slowly devoured piece-by-piece by my swarm. We will keep you alive as long as possible, so that the sweet agony of your screams may pleasure our ears."**

Without warning, the Demon pointed both of its arms at the Rangers, firing dozens of snakes at them. Fortunately for them, the Demon's aim was rather poor and snakes weren't very aerodynamic, so most of them hit the ground around them.

"Somebody needs to take some lessons from Thulsa Doom." the Critic snarked. He fired a few clips at the swarm of snakes at his feet, though he only managed to kill a few. The other Rangers had more success with melee weapons; Lindsay skewered a number of them with her spear, while Linkara and Spoony switched to swords and swiped at some more. Joe's hands still hurt and he wanted to conserve what little MP he had left, so he just stomped on the rest, crushing their heads with his boots (they made a rather satisfying squishing sound).

But again, the Demon's body looked none the worse for wear.

"Alright, let's try something a little bit different!" Linkara switched out his shortsword for his magic gun, and took aim at the Demon. Rather than a constant stream of magical energy, the magic gun fired several smaller concentrated bursts, which exploded on impact with the Demon's body.

Getting the hint, Spoony added explosive charges to the end of his bolts. The Demon stood still, taking the full force of the combined assault; once they were done, the Demon muttered something in the demon language, and more snakes emerged from the summoning circle behind him.

Spoony and Linkara kept firing, attempting to take out the Demon before he could regenerate. The Critic and Lindsay generated a handful of grenades each and threw them at the summoning circle, attempting to disrupt it somehow; but even the combined force of several different explosions did little but delay the Demon, and even more snakes poured from the hole, returning him to full strength.

**"Your weapons are useless against me."** the Demon gloated.** "Your stolen Talent is weak, and your technology useless."**

"Okay, why do you keep saying that we stole magic from you?" Lindsay asked. "Apparently we have it on our own, and it just takes hundreds of years to train it, or something."

**"Ha!"** The Demon laughed. **"I see. Your patron never told you the true story behind your 'noble' Wizards. Yes, your little species has some ability with the Talent, but your ancestors butchered our kind, raped their bodies and stole their power, then turned it against us. But even that was not enough; they had to destroy our bodies in sneak attacks and seal our souls away, because they were too weak to challenge us head-on!"**

"To be fair, you guys are evil dicks." the Critic pointed out.

**"Your species are the ones that have dominated the planet, draining its life and choking it with poison."**

"Oh don't you pull that shit on us!" The Critic generated a machine gun. "We are NOT going to make this about 'Gaia taking revenge'! Nope, not at all! We're going to make this about YOU being DEAD!"  
>The Critic pulled the trigger, spraying hundreds of bullets into the Demon's body. Once again, the Demon took every shot, simply regenerating once the Critic had run out of MP.<p>

"Damn it!" The Critic threw his gun to the side.

"Wait! What about that Eradication spell?" Linkara pointed the dial of his watch at the Demon, firing a beam of green energy at the Demon. Everyone else followed suit, each firing beams of color-coded light at him; it proved to be somewhat effective, as the snakes making up the Demon's body started to fall off one by one, too immobilized by the attack to move.

**"This is unexpected."** the Demon growled. **"This is... hmm. So you humans do have some natural Talent after all."**

It was time to stop playing around. The Demon knelt down, and its snakes burrowed through the pavement as easily as dirt. A few moments later, the ground started shaking again, and huge geysers of water burst through the pavement. The Demon climbed atop one of these geysers, shrugging off the Eradication beams, and froze most of it into a huge chunk of solid ice.

"Shit, I see where this is going." the Critic said. He ran over to the location of his discarded machine gun, and it faded into energy as soon as he touched it; this gave him back enough energy to generate a tower shield, which he knelt behind.

The other Rangers followed his lead. They clustered together, each generating shields that protected each side of their group. Joe generated one on top to complete the phalanx, holding it down as best he could with his injured hands.

The Demon stomped on the frozen geyser, shattering it into thousands of ice shards. He fired nearly all of these shards at the Rangers' phalanx, bombarding their magical shields with sharpened chunks of ice. To their credit, the shields held against the attack, though only barely.

"Hold on, I've got a plan." Linkara said. "He'll probably do that attack again, but before he throws the ice at us, four of us will paralyze him with Eradication. Doug, you summon the Combine Bazooka, and we'll fire it at him, hopefully before he shrugs him off again."

"That's pretty much our only option at this point, huh?" Spoony said. "Well, unless Zona would get her ass over here and help us out."

"We can't expect Zona to bail us out every time. We've gotta fight for ourselves too." Linkara said.

The sound of a large quantity of ice flash-freezing alerted them to the Demon's next attempt at the same attack.

"NOW!" Lindsay, Joe, Spoony and Linkara threw their shields to the side, quickly aimed for the Demon and fired their Eradication beams at him. The sneak attack caught him off-guard, stunning him for a vital moment.

"Zona! Send us the Combine Bazooka!" the Critic yelled into his watch. A light door opened in front of him, and the Bazooka floated past the event horizon into the Critic's hands.

While the Demon was still stunned, the other four Rangers ran over and grabbed the handles of the massive weapon. Just like last time, they poured their vague "hearts and powers" into the weapon, which began to whir...

"FIRE!" the Critic yelled. The Bazooka fired a beam of pure destruction, wider around than the Demon itself; it tried to raise a shield of ice to protect itself, but the beam melted it in less than a second. One last roar escaped the Demon's mouth before he was swallowed by the Bazooka's beam, vaporizing him completely.

"Well... that's done." Joe said. "I mean, Zona has healing magic, right? She'll heal my hands right up."

"Yeah, hopefully."

The Rangers set the Bazooka down on the ground, and it was swallowed by another light door. They prepared to de-morph and jump through the door as well, but Lindsay noticed something rather important...

"Uh, guys? The summoning circle's still active." she pointed out. "We didn't kill it."

"Good point." Spoony said. "Last time, we used that Eradication spell or whatever to fully kill it, because Shaggy couldn't be killed by conventional weapons, right?"

"But its body was made of snakes, and we killed all of the snakes." the Critic said. "Maybe only that goat thing couldn't be killed by the Bazooka."

"Or the true Demon is a hive mind that was only possessing the snakes." Joe said.

Sure enough, Joe's theory turned out to be right, as more snakes poured out of the circle. But unlike its first appearance, there were barely enough snakes to form its foot, much less an entire body.

But the snakes were followed by something else. A tall man, seemingly carved from stone and with vines for hair, grabbed the edge of the hole and pulled himself up out of the hole. He was dressed in glassy black armor, and a massive silver sword was strapped to his back.

**"You were defeated by humans?"** Helkema of the Earth noted, somewhat amused. **"I thought you were the one who wished to eradicate every last one of them."**

"Please, Master Earthlord, do not berate me in their tongue!" the disembodied voice of the snake Demon pleaded. "They have strange powers! Please Master Earthlord, give me a second chance! I will not fail you this time!"

**"Is that so?"** Helkema said. He glanced over at the Rangers. **"What do you think, humans? Do you still have the energy to fight this miserable failure a second time?"**

"You bet we do!" Linkara snarled, generating a magic gun in each hand. He'd told the other Rangers about his encounter with this Demon a few days ago, and he still remembered the terror he'd felt when the brute had invaded his home. He'd been unable to use his morpher then, but he was morphed now. He just needed an opening...

**"At the very least, you have the tenacity to continue fighting."** Helkema chuckled. **"Very well then."**

"Master Earthlord, please!" the Demon pleaded again.

**"Silence, worm."** Helkema crushed one of the few snakes left underneath his massive foot. **"I will give you the power you desire, but in return, I shall give the humans a sporting chance."**

Helkema raised his sword, bathing the entire area in a soft golden light. The flooded parking lot, filled with water from the geysers still spewing forth from underneath the earth, turned pure gold as well; the mystical water fully healed the Rangers, restoring their MP as well.

**"Do not disappoint me, humans. I shall eventually expect you to repay my kindness."** Helkema stuck his sword onto his back; several vines sprouted from his bare back, holding in place. **"And you too, worm. Regardless of your fate, do not return to my gaze."**

Helkema jumped back into the portal. The golden light faded, and the water returned to normal as well.

"How foolish Master Earthlord is!" the Demon proclaimed. This time, a metric crapton of snakes rushed in from the summoning circle, building the Demon's body up even larger than it had before. But it didn't stop there; more and more snakes kept pouring out, until the Demon was roughly the size of a small building. _**"IT DOES NOT MATTER IF HE RESTORES YOUR SPENT ENERGY! I SHALL CRUSH YOU ALL THE SAME!"**_

"...shit." the Critic said. "Zona! We need the Bazooka back!"

The Combine Bazooka again floated down from a light door. The Demon flash-froze the entire parking lot, trapping the Rangers in ankle-deep ice that was not only preventing them from moving, but also cutting off the circulation to their feet.

But they had already got in position to use the Bazooka. With full power, they charged the Bazooka to its maximum capacity.

"FIRE! AGAIN!" the Critic ordered. The beam this time was around twenty times more powerful, and though the Demon conjured a semitransparent shield, it couldn't hold it long enough to make a difference. The Bazooka beam ripped a huge hole in the Demon's massive body, pretty much obliterating its torso; its arms, legs and head fell to the ground, breaking up the ice enough for the Rangers to move again.

"That's not it." Spoony said. "Obviously, it's going to regenerate, and we're going to be stuck without a weapon."

Sure enough, even more snakes came out of the summoning circle, quickly restoring the Demon's body to its kaiju-like proportions.

"Well, now what?" Lindsay said furiously. "What, do we just ask that earth guy to restore our energy again?"

"We do have one more weapon!" Linkara said. He lowered his head and raised his arm, and spoke directly into the watch. "Zona! How complete are the Zords?"

_Around 70% overall, but-_

"It'll have to do!" Linkara shouted. "We're really out of options here!"

_Yes, I see. Very well, I will begin the transformation ritual._

"The transfo-" Linkara was interrupted as a shell of golden light appeared around him. He floated upward, and the shell steadily expanded, taking the form of what appeared to be an arm.

The other Rangers were also surrounded by shells of light, and they too floated upward. Linkara formed the right arm, Spoony the left, Joe the right leg, Lindsay the left...

"And I'll form THE HEAD!" the Critic enthusiastically shouted as his shell formed into the last bit of the torso and the head.

The incomplete Review Megazord was a dull silver color all over, lacking the color-coding of each body part. It was also missing a good chunk of its armor, making it look somewhat emaciated compared to other giant robots. However, all of its weapons were complete and active; a supersized magic gun over the wrist of its right arm, a grenade launcher on its left, giant golden drills on both of its knees, a shoulder-mounted gatling gun closer to the right, and two lightsaber hilts in holsters on its waist.

All five Rangers appeared in the cockpit of the Review Megazord. The cockpit itself was completely empty, save for two screens in front of them showing the viewpoint from the Megazord's own eyes, and five color-coordinated circular panels on the floor.

"So... giant robot." Lindsay commented. "How do we control it?"

"These panels, I would assume." The Critic climbed up on the red panel (in the center, of course), and struck a pose. The Megazord shuddered around them, as (unbeknownst to the Rangers) struck the same pose.

The other Rangers stepped on their designated panels, and the Megazord shuddered again as it attempted to imitate all five of them at the same time; though the other four were just standing still, the Critic was still in his rather silly-looking pose, which confused the poor Megazord.

"Rangers!" A section of the wall between the two screens slid away, revealing another screen with Zona's face upon it. "The Megazord's control system requires the five of you to work in unison. Only... it's supposed to read your minds and body language, not your actual movements. I didn't have time to fine-tune the controls, so you'll have to make do."

"Couldn't you just install control sticks or something?" Joe asked. "It seems a lot simpler than trying to move in unison or whatever."

But the Megazord shook as it took another assault of icicles from the Demon.

"If you can't get it to work, Doug, you can do a partial override to the controls to make it work on your movements only. The rest of you can just control the weapons."

"...As much as I hate to admit it, that's probably for the best." Spoony said. "I mean, I could argue about him getting all the glory, but honestly, why do we care about that?"

"Yeah, good point." Linkara said. "Okay Doug, do the override thing."

"Got it." The Critic concentrated really hard on overriding the Megazord's rather unwieldy control scheme. Coincidentally, his silly pose was perfectly placed to intercept a punch from the Demon's fist.

Joe forced the right leg's drill knee upward, drilling a huge hole through the Demon's stomach. It stumbled back, crushing a few buildings in the process. Linkara pointed his arm at the Demon and fired a few rounds from the super magic gun, Spoony doing the same with grenades.

The damage reduced the Demon back to individual snakes, but it began to regenerate.

"Now, combine your powers again! The Megazord has a Mass Eradication spell that will erase the demon!" Zona shouted.

"Right!" Linkara said. "Go back to the hell you came from, Demon! Finishing Move! Mass Eradication!"

"...what was that?" Joe and the Critic asked in unison.

"Well, it's a giant robot finishing move, right? So we need an awesome one-liner and a name for the attack!" Linkara said.

"Uh, we don't really have time for this..." Spoony said, pointing out the regenerated Demon charging at them, telekinetically holding thousands of large, pointy ice spears.

"Right. Okay, whatever Lewis said, Mass Eradication!"

All five Rangers struck a pose (different for each of them). A panel in the Megazord's chest opened up, unveiling a huge cannon. The cannon fired a huge magical circle engraved with all sorts of runes at the Demon, trapping it long enough for the main barrage: several rounds of multicolored beams, each outright erasing a section of the Demon's body. The magical circle faded, but only long enough for the Demon to futilely attempt to escape back to its summoning circle; the last of the Megazord's blasts targeted the circle, destroying it and the Demon in one shot.

The Megazord turned back into shells of light energy, and the Rangers gently descended back to the ground as they were sucked into light doors. The parking lot and some of the surrounding buildings had been destroyed by the attack, but hopefully everyone had escaped in time.

"Uh, we should probably get out of here." the Critic said. "Before the cops try to arrest us or whatever."

"Why? We're still morphed. They can't tell who we are, so why don't we greet them and tell them we're the Rangers and stuff?" Linkara suggested. "You know, get a good public image going and all that."

Speaking of the cops, several police cars had surrounded the parking lot, and around two dozen cops were pointing guns at the Rangers.

"Put your hands up!" one of the cops shouted through a megaphone. "We're taking you in for questioning!"

"Wait, we're the good guys!" Linkara started to walk over to the cops, but they trained all of their guns on him, bringing him to a dead stop.

"I said hands up!"

"Don't worry guys, I know how this goes." Spoony said. He put his hands behind his head. "Just relax, they won't shoot us as long as we cooperate."

"Cooperate, right." Lindsay put her hands up. "At least these suits are bulletproof. Probably."

Joe and the Critic put their hands up too, as did Linkara.

"Good!" The cops slowly advanced on the five of them, still keeping their weapons pointed right at the Rangers. A few of the cops walked behind them and cuffed them.

"Good." The cop with the megaphone grinned sadistically. "You may fire when ready."

But before they could see whether the Ranger suits were bulletproof or not, five light doors opened up underneath them, and they dropped through the ground. The cops tried jumping after them, but the light doors disappeared just as quickly as they appeared, and the cops just ended up getting wet.

"Damn... huh?" The megaphone cop looked around, seemingly confused as to why he was here all of a sudden. "Huh, how'd I get here?"

"You, you wanted us to fire on them?" another cop asked. "We were just going to take them in for questioning! They saved the fuckin' city, man!"

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me!" the megaphone cop protested.

"Yeah, whatever man." The cops climbed back into their vehicles. Megaphone cop sighed as they all drove away, leaving him to get back to the station on his own two feet.


	7. Exposition And Press Conferences

"Okay seriously, you need to lay some exposition on us, now."

The five Rangers sat in the main room of Zona's Sanctuary, all unmorphed and all in varying stages of anger.

"I'm sorry." Zona bowed her head. "It was not my intention to hide anything from you. But I did not wish to bog you down with unnecessary details until the time was right."

"Whatever." Joe said. "So first of all, why did my girlfriend go all psycho? Can these demons possess people or something?"

"Yes, mind control is a school of magic known to the Demons. But they should not have been able to use it while they are still sealed..."

"Speaking of seals, what the hell is with Helkema?" Linkara said. "I thought you'd let us know if any Demons broke out!"

"I have thoroughly checked all of the seals, and none of them have been broken." The crystal ball displayed a map of the world; several dozen golden dots were displayed on various locations in the world, presumably showing the location of every Demon's seal. "And even if there were seals that we did not know about, breaking one should have released enough energy for us to detect."

"And what about that demon on the Moon?" Lindsay said. "You never did tell us what it was or why it's up there."

"...I'm sorry."

Zona dismissed the world map, replacing it with the visage of a vicious-looking horned man made out of white crystal. The scene zoomed out, showing the man, dressed in a simple cloth robe and wielding a massive wooden staff, towering over seven wizards dressed in color-coordinated robes. The Rangers noted that Zona was among the Wizards.

"This Demon is named Lux, and from what we understand of the Demons' hierarchy, he is their leader. He lied dormant within the Moon for several thousand years, but he broke through his seal roughly four months ago. We Great Wizards engaged him and attempted to reseal him, but his magical power dwarfed even our combined own... so we did the next best thing. We placed as many curses and geases on him as we could, attempting to limit his power as much as we could.

"For the most part, we were successful; Lux was reduced in power enough to stop him from unleashing his entire horde at once. But even in his weakened state, he is still much more powerful than we were able to handle, and we had no choice but to leave him to stew on the Moon. We're almost positive that he's been breaking the seals one by one, attempting to find one of his former horde that can nullify our magic and return him to full strength.

"As for Helkema... he is Lux's enforcer and one of his most trusted generals. The old Wizards kept no records of the Demons they sealed, but we are almost positive that Helkema was among them."

"What if he wasn't?" Spoony suggested. "What if this guy managed to survive for four thousand years or however long it was, waiting until his master broke out?"

"The possibility has not escaped me... but we should be able to detect his magical signature."

"So he's been hiding as a Wizard, then." the Critic said. "That Demon we fought said something about you guys stealing their magic power to use against them."

"Yes. The old Wizards lacked the Eradication spell, so they were forced to destroy the Demons by draining every last drop of their magic. It is a cruel act, and both sides saw it as horrifying... but it was necessary."

"Yeah, horrors of war and all that." Lindsay said. "So the point is, there's a Demon running around that can hide himself from our view, can suppress our morphers and pretty much kill us at any time. And he serves an even more powerful Demon who's on the Moon, unsealing his lackeys one by one for us to fight and defeat."

"As I said before, I was forced to recruit you because I had no other options left." Zona sighed. "But you five are growing at an incredible rate. I suspect that it won't be long before you can match Helkema's, and eventually Lux's, power."

"Yeah, about that!" Joe said. "How the hell did I randomly get Force lightning?"

"Even unmorphed, the watches provide you with a large magic pool. They've kickstarted your magical development, but you're still relatively untrained. You'll be able to use since magic reacts to willpower, you will be able to effectively use magic through brute force, as long as you have the watches."

"Ugh, civilian powers." Linkara facepalmed a bit. "Okay, whatever. I have another question: how did you build giant robots? I mean, I'm not complaining one bit, but you're a Wizard, right?"

"Magic has been in decline for many years, forcing the Wizards to adapt. Some of us have learned a few things about the path of technology and combined that with our magic. Those watches, as well as the Zords, are products of that union."

"Magitek? Cool." Joe said. "Okay, so I've gotta get back home and make sure Amanda's okay. I'll see you guys all on Sunday."

Joe pressed the dial of his watch and opened a light door, which took him back home. The other Rangers did the same, saying their farewells as they left... except for Spoony, who remained seated.

"You realize that you're not above suspicion, right?" Spoony said. "Doug brought up the idea that a Demon could hide as a Wizard, which means that any one of you could actually be Demons in disguise."

"I am aware of that." Zona's brow furrowed. "And I doubt I could convince you either way at this point. But in destroying the Demons, I am attempting to save the Earth, and nothing more."

"See, when you say cryptic shit like that, it only makes me more convinced that you have some sort of evil scheme brewing." Spoony shrugged. "But you're still hiding something from us. I can tell."

"If you have anything to ask, I will be happy to explain." Zona was clearly getting more and more frustrated.

"Okay, uh... what's the Demons' ultimate goal? Do they just want to destroy the Earth for the lulz, or what?"

"Lux's ultimate goal is to reclaim the Earth from us, and rule over it for eternity. But not all of his subordinates are interested in conquest: the younger Demons in particular crave nothing but destruction. Were it not for the older Demons like Helkema, the Earth would have been reduced to rubble long ago."

"Ah, so it's Lawful Evil vs. Chaotic Evil. Good to know." Spoony said. "Well, I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude, but you really should've told us all this from the beginning. Anyways, I'm outies."

Spoony disappeared into a light door, leaving Zona alone in the dark room. Prospo was still investigating some of the seals, to make sure they didn't somehow break without them knowing.

But... could Helkema have truly survived for four thousand years, unbeknownst to the Wizards? There was no way he could have done that without the help of a Wizard, and a high-ranking one at that. Was there a traitor amongst the Great Wizards? Zona leaned back in her chair, and sighed in frustration.

* * *

><p>"Where'd you go?" Miles asked as Spoony stepped into their house.<p>

"Oh, I just went out for lunch." Spoony said. "Sorry, I was gonna invite you, but you were still sleeping."

"Ah, I see." Miles said. "So, did you hear about what happened in Austin, Texas? It's all over the news."

"Huh?" Spoony faked surprise. "No, I didn't."

Spoony took a seat at his computer. While Miles brought up the story, Oreo ran into the room and jumped on his lap; her tail was frantically wagging, and she seemed even happier than usual to see him.

Oreo had been acting strangely since Spoony had returned from Chorus Falls; even more than usual, she was overjoyed whenever Spoony returned home from going out anywhere. Spoony knew that Oreo was extremely intelligent, even for a dog, but was she really afraid for his life?

Even Miles had picked up on Oreo's behaviour, and Spoony suspected that he knew more than he let on. At the very least, he'd asked a couple of times about the watch he'd got in Chorus Falls, and where he'd got it from and such. Spoony had caught him eyeing the watch out of the corner of his eye, but he doubted Miles knew what it actually was.

"Ah, here." Miles brought up a news story from the National Post site. "'Giant monster sighted in Austin, TX: Eyewitness reports are flooding in from Austin, claiming that a gigantic creature of unknown origin came up from underneath the ground. Other reports claim that five unknown individuals in masks and colored clothing fought the creature, driving it off with, as one report put it, 'a giant robot'. Other reports have compared the individuals to Power Rangers, a long-running children's series about costumed heroes fighting monsters with giant robots.'"

Miles skimmed through the article a bit, coming to a Youtube video of footage captured from the fight. It showed Joe fighting the demons unmorphed with his Force lightning, then the rest of the Rangers jumping in and fighting off the snake demon, but it cut off before Helkema appeared and the snake Demon grew.

"'One of the individuals has been identified as Joe Vargas, a native resident of Austin. The Austin County police have asked Mr. Vargas to report to them for questioning, to shed light on this event.'"

"He's one of the guys at TGWTG, right?" Miles asked Spoony. "And he was there when you went to Chorus Falls, right?"

"Yeah, that's right." Spoony said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. So do you know anything about it?"

Spoony knew what Miles was building up to.

"Yeah, I'm the Yellow Ranger." Spoony admitted.

"Wait, seriously?" Miles looked shocked. "You're not bullshitting me, right?"

"Nope." Spoony stood up. "I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE SOUL!"

The watch enveloped Spoony in a yellow aura, and he emerged as the Yellow Review Ranger.

"Holy shit." Miles said, mouth agape. "Holy... god damn, Noah."

"I know, I had a pretty hard time believing it too." Spoony demorphed. "Short version: the person who called us to Chorus Falls was a witch, who gave us Power Rangers powers to fight ancient sealed Demons. That snake thing was one of them, and we've also fought a flaming goat."

"That's... really? You're being completely serious about this, right?"

"Yep."

"...Okay." Miles regained his composure. "But why you guys? Wouldn't it make more sense to give this kind of power to the army, or at least someone who's in better physical shape than a bunch of nerds?"

"I honestly have no idea. Zona tried saying 'we're tied to the path of technology and human civilization' or some shit like that, but I'm having some serious doubts about that."

"No kidding. Well, are you guys supposed to reveal yourselves? Because it looks like Joe's in for some serious shit, and they'll probably figure out who the rest of you are soon enough."

"Yeah, I know. But I dunno, what do you think? Could we get the cops to cooperate with us?"

"Honestly... it depends." Miles clicked another version of the story, skimming through it. "Hmm, this one's playing it off as a publicity stunt for the next season of Power Rangers or something. It'd be a pretty extensive stunt, considering they would have to build a working fucking giant robot and reimburse everyone for the collateral damage."

"I think they played the flaming goat off as a freak forest fire too." Spoony said. "But what, are they gonna make us pay off the damage?"

"Maybe. It depends on if they believe it's real or not." Miles closed the browser window and turned to Spoony. "I'd honestly prefer to believe that it was a disastrous PR stunt, rather than an actual monster being fought by a giant robot."

"I hear ya. But I lived it." Spoony sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it. Then again, with all the bullshit Zona told us, I wouldn't doubt it if they could be taken out by conventional weapons, and she's just using us for some impossibly complex and probably fucking stupid evil scheme."

"Well, even if it didn't have magical protection or whatever, you guys took it out with minimal damage. They'd probably have to reduce the rest of the block to rubble to even stun that thing." Miles pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just, I dunno, I'm just as confused as you are."

"I know." Miles pondered for a moment. "You know, this is probably going to sound stupid, but you guys should hold a press conference. Explain who you are, tell everyone about the Demons, and tell them that you're the good guys and shit."

"Please, no one will believe us."

"They will if these Demons keep attacking. They can't hold on to the excuse of a PR stunt for long if they keep damaging cities and whatnot."

"True." Spoony sighed again. "A press conference, huh? I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Well, let's start with the basics." Miles pulled up a Notepad file and started typing. "First, you'll need a place to hold it. Then you'll need to make sure that everyone knows where that is, including your friends. Then you'll need to prepare statements, plan for questions from the press, and are you gonna do this morphed or unmorphed?"

The 'basics' quickly spiraled into much more complex details, and even a few hours into planning for the press conference, they'd only managed to decide on a spot to hold it - they'd want maximum exposure, so they decided on an empty lot near Washington DC. Spoony made a quick jaunt back to Zona's Sanctuary, and despite their slight animosity toward one another, Zona agreed to provide a stage and the requisite equipment to make sure everyone would hear them.

"Okay, now for a date." Spoony logged into Skype and started a chat with the other Rangers; unfortunately, Joe was offline.

"So, we're all over the news." the Critic said. "And the cops want to talk to Joe. Shit, I hope he's gonna be alright."

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Lindsay said. "After all, what are they gonna do to him? Arrest him for improper use of magical powers?"

"No, but they could hold him for destruction of property." Miles pointed out. "Speaking of which, I'm not too sure if giant monster attacks qualify as acts of God or not, but the retailers who had their businesses destroyed are probably gonna try and sue you guys regardless."

"But we didn't do any of the destroying! It was all the Demon!" Linkara said. "I specifically noted that the Megazord's weapons only hurt the Demon, and they didn't do any additional damage to the area. I mean, I guess the Megazord wrecked the lot a bit with its feet, but they're not going to sue us for that, are they?"

"Okay, anyways guys, me and Miles are planning a press conference to boost our PR." Spoony gave them the quick rundown of their plans so far.

"But are we gonna do this morphed or not?" Lindsay said. "Because if we show our faces, we're instantly gonna get pegged for every last thing we do, good or bad."

"I think it's important that you make your identities known." Miles said. "That way, they know that you guys are human and fighting for the sake of the world, and not just impersonal defenders doing their jobs."

"Actually, I'm thinking Lindsay is right here." the Critic said. "Think about it in the long run. Even if we manage to defeat Lux or whatever and save the world, what's gonna happen afterwards? They're gonna look at the destruction, and they'll want to hold someone responsible. And then they'll realize that we're still around, and they'll make us scapegoats."

"Wait, I see where Miles is going with this." Linkara said. "If we show our faces now, they'll know who we are and hold us responsible. But won't it look better for us in the long run if we show our faces, rather than hiding them until the inevitable moment they find out who we are? If we hide, they'll just ask us why we hid, and it'll look even worse for us."

"Yeah, true." Lindsay admitted. "So when are we gonna hold this thing? You didn't sound like you had a date in mind."

"Well, first thing we need to do is get Joe in on this." the Critic said. "Let's see how the cops treat him, and we'll go from there."

"It might be an idea to go down to Austin and post bail for him, or at least see how he's doing." Miles said. "You guys got some money from Zona, right? So pool that together, or if that's not enough, ask her for some more."

Everyone agreed to that plan. Rather than flying down to Austin, the Rangers figured they'd just head back to the Sanctuary and ask for transportation there; Spoony invited Miles along, but he declined.

"Listen, I'd love to get involved in this, but if there's gonna be weekly demon attacks, someone's gotta hold the fort while you guys slay the dragon." Miles said. "People are gonna use this as an excuse to riot or do crazy shit, and it's us who're gonna have to keep order."

"Yeah, that's true. But man, you're actually trained with fighting and shit." Spoony commented. He took the watch off of his wrist and handed it to Miles, but he refused.

"It's your job, man. I can't take it from you."

"Oh gee, thanks." Spoony said sarcastically.

"But seriously man... good luck." The two brothers shared a manly handshake, and Spoony stepped into the light door that appeared before him, ready to bail his friend out and take on the terrifying prospect of the American media. He got the feeling that the latter would be almost as difficult as the two Demons they'd taken on thus far.


	8. Triumph

"You're not bullshitting me, right?"

Joe and Amanda were once again in his car, driving toward the Austin Police Headquarters. Joe had just finished telling her about Chorus Falls and his new powers and responsibilities.

"I'm completely serious." Joe said. "Believe me, I couldn't stage something like that."

"Yeah, but it just seems almost like a dream." Amanda looked down. "I remember wanting your watch really badly, then you snapped me out of it when I was about to jump in that fire..."

"Yeah, I hear ya. It seems pretty real once you've fought a few battles though. But, if the Demons can control people like that, hmm... Maybe I'll ask Zona if she can give you some sort of protection spell or somethin."

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Amanda scratched her head. "So you're really going to turn yourself in? Don't you think that's a bad idea?"

"I dunno. I'll probably regret doing it, but I think it's important that we establish a good relationship with the cops, you know? It's like, we're the first superheroes in the real world, right? So we've gotta set up the framework for people who come after us."

"Yeah, I guess."

Joe and Amanda pulled up to the police headquarters.

"If you get put in jail, Joe, I dunno if I'll have enough cash to bail you out."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." Joe said. "If Zona has enough cash to give us all ten grand for a plane ticket, I'm sure she can bail me out."

Joe stepped out of the car, noticing that Amanda was silently weeping. Was she seriously that worried about him? It's not like the cops would just kill him on the spot... right? But if the Demons could possess anyone at any time, he'd have to be extra careful.

Too late for that, though, he figured. He walked toward the main entrance of the headquarters, but each step seemed to be longer than the last. He didn't want to admit it, either to Amanda or himself, but he was fucking terrified of turning himself in. What would the cops say? What would they do with him? It wouldn't be as easy as "You're Power Rangers, cool, keep up the good work", but would they arrest him for being responsible for all that damage?

Joe's stomach turned as he opened the door, and stepped into the lobby of the headquarters. A secretary sat behind a desk, busily chatting with someone over the phone; she didn't even notice Joe, but a slightly pudgy officer standing near a door at the back of the room did.

"Wait a minute, you're Joe Vargas, right?" The officer walked over to Joe; he had a curious look on his face, and his eyes immediately darted to the watch on Joe's wrist.

"Yeah, I am. I uh, I've come to turn myself in." Joe held out his hands, preparing to be handcuffed; but the cop just laughed.

"Nah, don't worry. I'm not gonna cuff ya, at least not yet." The cop laughed again. "Though, after seein' what you did with that watch, I'm gonna have to ask you to hand it over for the time being."

"You got it." Joe reluctantly slipped the watch off and gave it to the cop.

"Huh, this thing's pretty fancy." The cop closely inspected the watch. "Er, sorry. Come on, the Chief wants to see ya."

The cop led Joe through the offices of the headquarters, to a room in the back with "Chief Dan Estevez" proudly emblazoned on the door. Joe could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on his back, and he heard his name a couple of times in the indistinct mutterings passed between the cops.

Shit, he was really starting to regret doing this.

The cop knocked on Chief Estevez's door; a few moments later, a well-built balding man with an epic stache answered the door. He regarded the cop with slight annoyance, but his expression changed to shock, and perhaps a bit of relief, when he noticed Joe.

"Ah, this is Mr. Vargas, Chief." the cop said.

"Excellent work, Smith." Estevez looked right at Joe. "Please, come in, Mr. Vargas."

Joe walked into the rather spartan office; it had a few filing cabinets, a couple of charts on the wall and a rather nice wooden desk (piled sky-high with unorganized files and papers), but it lacked anything that could charitably be called decorative.

"Please, take a seat." Estevez pointed to a chair in front of his desk; Joe nervously sat down, meeting the Chief's hardened gaze. "Would you like anything to drink? Coffee, water, Pepsi?"

"No, I'm fine." Joe said. His stomach was still turning, and he didn't think putting anything in it would help right now.

Estevez glanced at Joe's wrist, seemingly displeased. "Hmm. My men reported that your group was wearing some sort of strange watches. Did you, er, leave yours at home?"

"Huh? Oh, no, that other officer took it from me." Joe said.

"What?" Estevez jumped to his feet, a look of pure outrage on his face. "For the love of- I told them to give me the watch!" He ran to the door and threw it open. "SMITH! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Smith, the officer that had escorted Joe, flinched as he heard the Chief's voice. He ran back to the office, with a rather sheepish look on his face.

"Give me that watch!" Estevez demanded. "I told you specifically that I wanted it!"

"Sorry, boss." Smith fished out the watch from his front pocket and handed it over. "I just forgot, I swear."

"Go home for the rest of the day, Smith." Estevez's face was beet-red. Smith trudged back to the headquarters' lobby.

"I swear, he'd lose his head... Er, sorry, Mr. Vargas." Estevez took his seat once more.

"Oh, no, that's fine." Joe said.

"So... I'd like to hear your side of what happened today."

Joe gave Estevez a quick rundown of the Demons, Zona and the watches. He made sure to not name any of the other Rangers, just calling them "my friends" for the time being.

"I see." Estevez said. "Demons, hmm? I've heard that there was a monster of some sort near Chorus Falls, and that you folks fought it off."

"Yeah, that's right. I thought the media said it was just a freak fire?"

"Some... less-than-reputable magazines published eyewitness accounts. My daughter's into trashy material like that, and she brought up that story the other day... course, I didn't believe it until today." Estevez leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples.

"So you believe me?" Joe asked.

"Of course I do! I trust my men's eyes, and they said they saw a demon fought off by folks in colored spandex. The only other options would be some sorta mass hallucination, which I highly doubt, or a publicity stunt, which wouldn't have deliberately caused property damage."

"I... no offense, sir, but I expected you to be a bit more skeptical."

"Ha, it's quite alright." Estevez and Joe both chuckled a bit. "So, how many demons are there?"

"We don't know, sir."

"I see." Estevez frowned. "Well, I don't know how everyone else is gonna react to this news, but it's important that we inform people as quickly as possible. I'd suggest doing a few interviews with magazines and stuff, you know, to spread the word."

"Yes, sir. I'll see what I can do."

Estevez handed the watch back to Joe.

"Keep up the good work, son. I'm sure you'll have plenty of hardships along the way, but don't forget that there's people rooting for you."

"Thank you, sir." Joe and Estevez shook each other's hands, and Joe walked back into the lobby - to see the other Rangers waiting for him there.

"Hey, Joe." the Critic said. "So they're not arresting you or anything?"

"Nope!" Joe said, grinning from ear to ear. "In fact, Chief Estevez is putting his support behind us! And he said he won't be holding us accountable for the damage from the latest Demon attack."

"That's awfully convenient." Lindsay remarked. "But I suppose it's in his best interests to make sure we're able to save the world."

The Rangers stepped outside. Amanda had long since left, so Joe called her and gave her the good news; unfortunately, they had Ranger business to attend to, so he wouldn't be coming over right after.

Instead, the Rangers went back to the Sanctuary to go over their plans for the press conference. They hammered out the last details, including when and where to hold it, and what they would say. Zona and Prospo agreed to say a few words as well, specifically agreeing to drop the masquerade across North America and donating large amounts of their magical tomes to the Smithsonian and the federal government to use at will.

* * *

><p>It was Saturday. The sky in Washington DC was clear, the temperature was fairly warm for mid-spring, and people were out and about shopping and enjoying the weather.<p>

Some of those people, however, had gathered on the outskirts of the city, where a stage made of marble had appeared seemingly overnight. Two days ago, the mysterious "Power Rangers" who fought a horrifying monster in Austin had announced that they were holding a press conference at this very location.

Consensus on the attack was divided between those who believed it was real, and those who thought it was just a hoax or publicity stunt. Captured footage of the event spread like wildfire across YouTube, social networks and the blogosphere, all attempting to make sense of the attack. Skeptics and believers alike gathered around the stage, as well as media crews broadcasting live streaming footage, all anticipated 2:00 PM, when the Rangers would make their appearance.

And sure enough, they didn't disappoint. Seven light doors opened, and the five Rangers (already morphed), Zona and Prospo stepped onto the stage. To their surprise, they received almost overwhelming applause, with a vocal minority loudly booing the so-called "shoddy effects work" of the light doors.

Zona started by amplifying hers and her apprentices' voices, as well as creating an enormous hologram of the stage a few hundred feet above them, just to make sure everyone could see. Everyone but the Critic took a seat at the back of the stage, while the Critic stepped forward to a waiting podium.

"Hello everyone. I am Douglas Walker, the Red Ranger." The Critic removed his helmet, showing his face to the entire world; he paused briefly as everyone took pictures of his unmasking. Well, there was no going back now.

"One week ago, a strange forest fire erupted northwest of Chorus Falls, Pennsylvania. Two days ago, a strange creature made of snakes attacked Austin, Texas, only to be fought off by a group of spandex-clad warriors. These events are both related; they were both caused by beings we have dubbed 'Demons'."

The Critic stepped down, and Lindsay took his place.

"I am Lindsay Ellis, the Blue Ranger. These two attacks are not the last we will see of these creatures; it pains me to say that there are over 100 Demons sealed away all across the world. They use a power they refer to as 'the Talent', but which we are calling 'magic', and they seek to use this power to wipe out humankind and our works."

Lindsay stepped down, replaced by Joe.

"I am Joe Vargas, the Black Ranger. The Demons are remnants of an older age, and the Wizards who sealed them away have long since passed. We are unable to re-seal them; instead, we have come up with a way, using both magic and our own advanced in the path of technology, to permanently eradicate them."

Joe stepped down, and Spoony stepped up.

"I am Noah Antwiler, the Yellow Ranger. The Demons are resistant to all but the most powerful conventional weapons, which, if used, could cause massive casualties and irreversible damage. Instead of resorting to such an extreme measure, we have been called together to use these powers to destroy them, with minimal damage and loss of life."

Spoony took his seat, and Linkara stood up.

"I am Lewis Lovhaug, the Green Ranger. We have dubbed ourselves the Review Rangers, and we fully intend to show the Demons the power of the human race. Though there may be dark times ahead, we will fight to ensure that the future will never again be plagued by these Demons."

The crowd was dead silent. Linkara stepped down, and Zona took her place at the podium.

"I am Venus Zona, a descendant of the Wizards that bound the Demons in ages past. The Wizards have survived to the present day, hidden away from the world of men; but in this time of crisis, I have decided that the time for unification is nigh. We will stand as one, not as Wizards or mortals, but as humans, united against the Demon horde."

As soon as Zona stopped speaking, the journalists began throwing questions at them, but they were drowned out by uproarious applause from the gathered crowd. The Rangers had fully expected a negative reaction to their speeches, but the crowd loved every minute of it. They doubted that the masses fully grasped exactly how threatening the Demons were, but that would be soon rectified as more and more were unsealed.

In fact, it would be rectified sooner than they expected. Much sooner.

The ground began to tremble. Massive fissures opened up in the dirt, and what appeared to be branchless tree trunks erupted from them. The crowd quickly dispersed, but a number of them fell into the fissures, while others were grabbed by the trees firing thorny vines at them, scooping up several humans and dragging them toward the central mass, where a wide mouth opened and consumed them whole.

The Rangers wasted no time in attacking the vines. The Critic and Joe both generated chainsaws and hacked away, quickly cutting down one tree each; the vines were somewhat slow and awkward to use in melee range, giving them the advantage. Spoony, Linkara and Lindsay opted for a sword, a poleaxe and a naginata respectively, which took somewhat longer but didn't consume their MP as fuel.

But the evil trees stopped attacking them, instead spewing a thick white mist into the air from their tops. The mist slowed the Rangers down, but since they were already morphed, it didn't have the same paralyzing effects as its previous appearance.

"Wait, that mist!" Linkara said. "It's- Helkema used that on me!"

Sure enough, another summoning circle appeared, and Helkema of the Earth stepped through it, brandishing his sword. He raised his offhand, and the rest of the evil trees stopped spewing mist.

**"We meet once again, little humans."** Helkema thrust his sword into the earth, and the evil trees sunk back into the earth. **"It is rather fortunate that most of the other humans were able to retreat. You do not have to worry about further blood on your hands."**

"You!" Linkara switched out his sword for dual magic guns. "I didn't get my crack at you last time, but we're free now!"

**"Ah, that's right. You desire revenge for a little bit of harmless intimidation. You humans can be so petty."**

Linkara fired dual beams of energy, but with surprising speed for a huge, bulky earth demon, Helkema leapt into the air, landing right in front of Linkara with an earth-shaking stomp. Linkara was knocked on his back, dropping both guns.

Spoony and Lindsay charged at Helkema, each brandishing their weapons. While keeping his gaze solely focused on Linkara, Helkema grabbed Lindsay's naginata and snapped it with his bare hand, while Spoony's sword shattered against his armor. He grabbed Linkara by the collar as several vines burst from his bare back, grabbing Spoony and Lindsay by the midsection and dangling them in midair.

As a last-ditch effort, Linkara generated a replica of the Dragon Dagger and shoved it into Helkema's arm. The earth demon, unfazed by the pointy thing sticking out of his arm, kept his grip on Linkara's collar and grinned.

**"This is certainly an odd weapon."** Helkema remarked, pulling it out of his skin with his other hand. **"A mix of Talents. Very interesting indeed."**

More vines sprouted from his shoulder, grabbing the Dragon Dagger and holding it to Spoony's throat. Spoony was attempting to hack at the vine holding him with a generated sword, but to no avail. Helkema took a bullet to the forehead courtesy of the Critic's handgun, but once again, he was unfazed.

"Let me go!" Linkara's legs flailed around as he grabbed Helkema's arm with his own two hands. He wasn't being choked yet, but it was only the matter of a few inches upward.

**"Perhaps you have wondered why I have spared you twice already, Linkara."** Helkema asked rhetorically. **"To be perfectly honest with you, both me and my master have a soft spot for humans. You are weak and frail in body, yet strong in spirit... and given four thousand years without our influence, you have built a frankly amazing civilization with a Talent we thought useless."**

"Stop monologuing and kill me already!" Linkara growled.

**"No, I believe I shall monologue some more. I very rarely get the chance to speak with others of my intellectual level..."** Helkema blocked Joe and the Critic's scythe and broadsword respectively. He dug his left foot into the ground, and more vines sprouted at Joe and the Critic's feet, mostly immobilizing them. **"I offer you a choice, Rangers. Surrender your watches to me, right now, and we will let you live out the rest of your natural lives. No one with Talent shall lay a hand upon you."**

"No fucking way!" The Critic reached out to generate another handgun, but more vines held his arm at his side.

"We won't give up, ever!" Joe yelled.

"Even if you kill us, more will rise up to take our place." Linkara said.

**"Yes, I suppose so, but- AARGH!"** Helkema's gloating was interrupted by a flaming sword severing one of his vines. Lindsay, freed from his grasp, severed the vines holding Spoony up; the pain forced Helkema to lose his grip for a moment, allowing Linkara to escape and blast him in the stomach with his magic gun.

Spoony mimicked Lindsay and generated an ultra-sharp flaming sword, which he thrust into Helkema's back. The sword nearly pierced right through the demon's body, though the tip shattered against his ebon armor; even still, Helkema roared out in the language of the demon, though his pain was evident even to the Rangers.

The Critic burnt away the vines with flames (his Ranger suit protected him from the heat), while Joe shocked them into submission. Helkema sprouted more vines from the ground, which pulled out the sword in his back with a sickening squelching sound. His usual affable grin had changed into an expression of pure rage.

Thousands of vines sprouted from the ground around Helkema, completely surrounding him. The vines lifted him upward, while a coating of earth and stone surrounded the vines. The outer layer was quickly refined, taking on the appearance of an even more monstrous Helkema with scaly black armor, four extra arms made out of the same thorny vines, and a mouthless head with four eyes and what appeared to be a sickly purple-black tree sprouting from his head (complete with evil-looking fruit hanging from the branches).

"Well, time for the Zords." the Critic said. He turned around, to look at the ruined marble stage; Zona and Prospo had escaped when the evil trees appeared, probably to get the Zords ready.

"Let's do it! We need Dragonzord power, now!" Lindsay shouted into the dial of her watch. The five Rangers were surrounded in shells of light, which each formed into a piece of the completed Review Megazord.

Unlike last time, the Megazord was fully complete. It was much bulkier than its incomplete form, sporting copious armor all over its torso, arms and legs. It had gained two fin-like protrusions on its shoulders, each of which contained several magic missile emitters (at Spoony's request). The added greaves and boots made it somewhat taller, and the head was outfitted in samurai-style headgear with a silver V-crest on the forehead and a faceplate. The body sections were also properly color-coded, though the main color scheme was various shades of dark blue complementing and constrasting the Rangers' own colors.

"Wait, we need Dragonzord power?" Linkara asked as they appeared in the cockpit.

"I watched a bit of Power Rangers the other day." Lindsay admitted.

The cockpit was also fully furnished. Instead of two screens directly in front of them, the entire cockpit was transparent, giving them a clear 360 degree view of the battlefield. The glowing platforms were still present, but each had a console with various joysticks and buttons on it for controlling the weapons. They had all agreed offscreen to let the Critic control the movement while they controlled weapons, which seemed to work last time.

"Alright, let's do this!" The Critic shouted enthusiastically. Helkema started off by firing hundreds of thorny vines at the Megazord, but Lindsay burned them away with a front-facing fire shield. (The Megazord further amplified their already-increased magic power, though their somewhat limited MP still fuelled the weapons.)

"It might be safe to stay away from him, considering the potential for horrific tentacle rape." Spoony said. He fired off several grenades at Helkema's body, blowing off the outer rocky layer and exposing the mass of vines underneath; Joe (who had control of the magic missile emitters) fired several rounds of glowing white spheres into the mass before he could regenerate, forcing Helkema to stumble back a few dozen feet.

Lindsay concentrated her fire shield into a fireball and shot it at Helkema, but the latter protected himself by raising a wall of earth in front of his weak spot. Spoony shot a couple more grenades at the wall, breaking it and allowing Linkara, Joe and Lindsay (who had control of the shoulder-mounted minigun and the drill knees) to blast Helkema with everything they had.

But the earth demon was far from finished. His four vine arms shot out, grabbing the Megazord around the midsection. Helkema raised it up into the air, not a mean feat considering the Megazord's weight, and generated an enormous sword made of dazzling-white metal.

"Hang on a second. I thought the Demons hated technology? Sure, metalworking's rather simple, but it's still fucking technology!" Spoony said.

_**"I HAVE LIVED AMONG YOUR KIND FOR MANY YEARS, AND I HAVE LEARNED A FEW THINGS ABOUT THE PATH OF TECHNOLOGY. ONE NEEDS NOT FEAR WHAT ONE UNDERSTANDS..."**_ Helkema's demonic voice reverberated through the Megazord. Lindsay generated another fire shield, but the vine arms were slightly more durable than the lesser all-purpose vines; they did burn away eventually, but not before Helkema thrust his blade into the Megazord's stomach. It fortunately missed the cockpit, though it left a huge gaping hole in the Megazord when he drew it out.

Undeterred, the Megazord continued its assault with its many variety of ranged weapons. Helkema raised more earth walls, seemingly creating them on the spot rather than using the surrounding earth for protection. They easily broke through the walls, but it was just enough of a distraction for Helkema to thrust his sword into the Megazord's head, taking it right off.

_**"I WILL FIND YOU, HUMANS! YOU MAY BE FIGHTING IN THAT TITAN, BUT YOU ARE STILL FLESHY WITHIN!"**_ Helkema roared. More vines grabbed the Megazord's feet, but the Critic was able to snap them rather easily just by moving. Helkema thrust the sword forward, but the Critic, aided by Spoony and Linkara, grabbed the blade in between the Megazord's palms. Joe and Lindsay took over movement, and they rushed forward, throwing Helkema off balance and causing him to drop the sword.

The Megazord picked up the sword. Lindsay, Linkara, Joe and Spoony imbued it with their vague holy energy, and the Critic swung it in a huge vertical arc, releasing a white crescent beam that cleaved Helkema in half. The vines making up his body shot together, attempting to pull his body back together, but the Megazord followed up by deploying its chest cannon.

"Time to die, Demon! MASS ERADICATION!" The Rangers all shouted in unison as the chest cannon fired dozens of beams of multicolored light, completely erasing Helkema's massive body. His original body fell to the ground, injured and weakened; the Megazord fired one last round at him, but a white energy shield inscribed with strange runes absorbed the blast. A winged woman, dressed in white, and with a falcon's head appeared in front of Helkema.

**"Humans! You have fought valiantly, but you will not take the Earthlord today!"** the woman shouted. A gale-force wind toppled the Megazord over; the mecha dissolved back into light shells rather than getting back up. The Rangers ran on foot, but Helkema and the mysterious woman had long since vanished.

"Well, that's just great. Fucking deus ex machinas." the Critic mumbled. The rest of the Rangers de-morphed.

"But who was that woman?" Lindsay wondered aloud. "Is she another Demon that we didn't know about?"

"Knowing Zona's general incompetence, probably." Spoony remarked. The five Rangers returned to the Sanctuary for rest and debriefing.


	9. Obligatory Twist

"Venus Zona."

Six men and women, each dressed in a differently-colored robe, were seated in a circle around a large crystal ball. The 'room' they were in was little more than a black void, lit up by a glowing white light suspended several hundred feet above them. The six Great Wizards looked up as a light door opened, and the blond-haired Zona, dressed in an elaborate indigo robe, stepped out and took a seat in the circle.

"May magic guide your way, fellow Wizards." Zona said formally. "I assume you have called this meeting due to my actions yesterday."

"That is correct." Jupiter Flamel, the green Great Wizard, calmly said. Unlike the scowl on his compatriots' faces, his was more disappointment than anything.  
>"Do you realize what you have done?" Ares Illayana, the red Great Wizard, growled. "And you have promised to give them our collected magical knowledge."<p>

"It was our intention to reveal our existence eventually, but it was to be done over a period of time." the yellow Wizard Saturn Myrindur said.

"We have been planning on doing that for centuries now." Zona retorted.

"Yeah, we're all kinda stuffy like that..." the orange Wizard Mercury Iris said. "I think Venus has the right idea, if not the right execution. Now we have no choice but to answer to the humans."

"Using human pawns was bad enough!" the blue Uranus Rasa shouted. "We opposed that plan for a reason! We could have used that Eradication spell on our own without involving them!"

"They are not pawns!" Zona said angrily. "They are my apprentices, and you will refer to them as such!"

"They are humans." the purple Neptune von Parabagos said, in a tone of voice telling them to calm down. "They have no stake in this conflict. It is the old Wizards who sealed the Demons away, and had you not involved humans, Venus, they would have focused on us."

"No stake? The Demons would have destroyed them regardless!" Flamel said. "I do not agree with the rashness of Venus' actions, but at least she has given the humans a way to fight back."

"And in doing so, she has exposed us to the world." Illayana said. "Now, the governments of the world will demand our help for every last problem they have, and if we disagree, they will brand us and hunt us down. That is the reason we enacted the Treaty in the first place."

"Well, none of us wrote the Treaty. Maybe it's outdated?" Iris said. "Our magic has plenty of failings too, just like their technology. If we combine the two-"

"If we combine the two, we will only hastening the fall of civilization." von Parabagos said. "As it stands, we stand little chance against the Demons. Even if Venus' apprentices succeed in destroying Lux, that only means that magic will permanently fade away."

"I don't like where you're going with that train of thought, Neptune." Flamel said. "What are you suggesting? We keep the Demons around and farm them for magic?"

"I'm saying that Venus should be expelled and geased." von Parabagos said. "She has violated our laws, and she deserves nothing less."

"I'm actually trying to save Earth, unlike you bloated old relics!" Zona got to her feet. "If you wish to expel me, so be it. But I will continue working for the better of the world, and if I make an enemy of every other Wizard in the process, then I will gladly accept it!"

"Wait!" Flamel said. "We are letting our anger get the better of us. Neptune is correct, Venus; you have broken our Treaty, and we cannot overlook that. But Mercury is also right; if one of the Great Wizards was forced to break our Treaty, perhaps it is a sign that it has become obsolete."

"Let us put this to a vote." Myrindur said. "I vote for the expulsion of Venus."

"As do I." Illayana said.

"I vote in favor." Rasa said.

"I vote against." Iris said.

"I vote against as well." Flamel said.

"I vote for." von Parabagos said. "It is 4 to 2. Venus, you are hereby stripped of your rank as the Great Wizard of North America."

"Very well." Zona turned around and opened a light door. "But I will continue training my apprentices, and I will hand over my magical knowledge to the mortals. If you believe you can erase the memories of seven billion people to preserve your flimsy masquerade, so be it."

The color of Zona's robe faded away, leaving it a dull grey color. She stepped through the light door, back to her Sanctuary.

"...She is right." Flamel said. "We are bloated old relics with an outdated treaty. We have been revealed to the world of mortals, and we will need to adapt to survive."

"They will forget us, as they always have." Myrindur said, definitively ending the meeting. The remaining six Great Wizards went back to their own domains, pondering the words of their disgraced colleague.

* * *

><p>A light door opened outside a house in suburban Chicago. Out of it stepped Doug Walker, the Nostalgia Critic and recently-unmasked Red Ranger.<p>

The day before, he'd shown his face to the entire world. He was known across the entire world as a hero... or perhaps as an above-the-law vigilante. They were operating by their own rules, not by the rules of anyone else, and that would probably come to bite them in the ass down the road; but for the moment, destroying the Demons was the most important thing, and they would continue doing it regardless of who tried to stop them.

To his surprise and relief, there weren't any news crews or obsessed fans camped out around his house. But as he opened the door to his place, it started to worry him a bit; was he really that unimportant in the grand scheme? Or perhaps their press conference had been suppressed yet again?

"Hey!"

The voice belonged to Bargo, the Critic's friend and fellow producer. The Critic took off his shoes and walked into the living room, where both Rob and Bargo were just lounging around.

"Oh, hey guys. I uh, I guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?" The Critic's cheeks went red.

"Yeah, no kidding." Rob said. "You could've told me, man. I wouldn't have told a soul."

"I know, but uh, Zona told us not to tell anyone until it happened naturally. And you probably wouldn't have believed me either."

"I dunno, I think it's pretty cool." Bargo said. "Glad it's not me doing it, though."

"So what happened at the end of that press conference?" Rob asked. "The journalists there just said that a bunch of evil trees scared them off or something."

"That was one of the head Demon's generals or something like that. But we beat him good."

"Yeah, but not without 50 people dying first. That was a bit of a sore spot in the news, though most people aren't blaming you guys for it."

"Fifty..." The Critic hadn't even thought of that. He'd seen some of the crowd fall into pits or get eaten by those evil trees, but he'd been too focused on fighting Helkema for it to even register. There'd probably been casualties in the fight against that snake demon, too.

"Nah, you couldn't have helped it, man." Rob said reassuringly. "Those demons are just bastards, and if you hadn't stopped it, it would've killed more!"

"Yeah, I know. It just never occurred to me, that's all." the Critic said. "It's not like I'm gonna go mope and angst about how people died because of us or anything. Yeah, I'm not gonna forget that they died to the Demons, but I'm gonna avenge them."

"That's the spirit!" Rob said.

"Yeah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to do something fucking normal for a little while."

The Critic sat down at his computer. He'd shot and edited most of the next NC video, but he was more interested at the reactions to the press conference they'd held. He checked around a bunch of news sites, before cruising over to the TGWTG forums.

Naturally, the forums were filled with topics about the TGWTG Power Ranger team, the Demons and the Wizards and all that crap. One particularly amusing comment noted that it sounded like "a bad fanfic", which the Critic thought perfectly described his life for the last two weeks.

Had it only been two weeks? It seemed like so much longer. Technically, it was only a week and a half, since they'd gone to Chorus Falls on the Thursday before last. But in that time, they'd been given magical powers and killed two monstrosities and badly injured a third by using a giant magic-powered robot.

Shit, that did sound like a bad fanfic.

The Critic set up his camera in front of his computer. He didn't have a specific script, but he wanted to record something to settle everyone down.

"Hey everyone, it's Doug here. So, if you haven't heard yet, I've uh, been turned into a Power Ranger! Yeah, I know, I'm just as confused as you guys are. To be honest, I don't really know why they chose us of all people, but hey, we can't really refuse the call at this point, right?

"So, obviously, I'm going to be going on hiatus for a while, and I have no idea when I'll be coming back. I'll do my best to keep you guys updated, you know, right from the source and all that, but I can't promise I'll have any sort of regular schedule."

The Critic went on for a while, giving everyone a quick rundown of the conflict and the nature of the Rangers' powers. He made a conscious effort to sound leaderly and authoritative, since he was the Red Ranger and thus the de facto leader, but he flat-out admitted that he was pretty scared.

"But, you know, I'm going to be fighting for the fate of the Earth, so I can't let that get to me. God I sound corny. But, you know, I pretty much am in a Saturday morning cartoon, so I guess I gotta make an effort to sound like a hero.

"So yeah, I'm gonna sign off, and uh, wish me luck and all that! Til next time, I'm out."

Cut, import, render, export, upload. The Critic ended up going on for about 20 minutes, but he felt a lot better after spilling his guts to the Internet. It was almost therapeutic in a way, or at least very relieving.

Once the video was uploaded and posted, he finished editing the last NC that he would be doing for a while. It ended up being a review of The Sixth Sense, which was almost prophetic in a way - maybe he was already dead, and this was a weird-ass dying dream? Or maybe he was marked for death as soon as he accepted the watch from Zona, and he was just fighting for as long as he could until he inevitably fell in battle?

Nah, screw that shit. He didn't plan on dying any time soon.

Once he was done uploading the NC episode, he went to bed. He dreamed of the sun, an ever-burning ball of nuclear hellfire that could wipe out the entirety of human history and civilization in but a second...

A loud beeping sound woke him up. He looked over, to see his watch flashing and vibrating on his nightstand.

"Shit!" Without even changing out of his pajamas, the Critic threw on the watch and ran through the light door that appeared in front of him.

"Ah, Doug!" Prospo chirped. The other four Rangers had already arrived, also in various states of undress - even Prospo himself was wearing a red bathrobe and looked kind of groggy.

"Huh? Where's Zona?" Doug asked. She hadn't been around at all yesterday either - Prospo had handled their training as usual, but she hadn't even popped up to say hello. Prospo had explained that she was meeting with the other Great Wizards, but was it really taking over a day?

"It's kind of a long story." Prospo said. "She's fine and all, but she just needs some, uh, alone time. Anyways! We've detected another ruptured seal in northeastern Kazakhstan, but it's fortunately out in the wilderness, so you guys shouldn't have to worry about taking it easy. And after you absolutely stomped Helkema the other day, you guys shouldn't break a sweat!"

"Yeah, but Helkema was holding back." Spoony said. "That huge body was burning through his MP, and he definitely wasn't making up for it with physical power. He deliberately handicapped himself."

"Well... even still! You could hold your own against one of Lux's generals, which I'd say is pretty good after only two weeks with your powers." Prospo said, obviously trying to reassure them.

Prospo opened up the Main Gates, and a huge light door appeared.

"This'll take you right to the location of the seal. Call me if you need the Zords, and good luck!"

"Hey, before we go, I was thinking we should do a more unified morphing sequence." Linkara said. "Like, you know. We're the Review Rangers, so why don't we call out what we review? I'll call out Comics, of course, Spoony can call out Tabletop Games, Joe can be Video Games, and uh, Doug, you could be Film and Lindsay could be Animation."

"I think Doug's reviewed more animated films than I have, though." Lindsay said.

"Yeah, and I don't really review tabletop games, either." Spoony said.

"No, I like it." the Critic said. "Yeah, I'll be Film and Lindsay can be Animation. And at the end, we'll call out 'GO! REVIEW RANGERS!' or something like that."

"Sounds pretty cheesy." Spoony said. "Then again, you are the leader, so you have to sound like a cartoon hero, right?"

"You watched my vlog last night?"

"Yeah, I did too." Joe said. "Totally agree with you, though. We need to keep fighting to protect everyone else anyways, so why don't we add a bit of levity by acting like actual Power Rangers? God knows we'll need as much of that as we can get."

"I guess." Lindsay said.

"Okay, let's do this the right way." The Critic held up his watch. They all called "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!" in unison, followed by the Critic yelling "FILMS!"

"ANIMATION!"

"VIDEO GAMES!"

"TABLETOP GAMES!"

"COMIC BOOKS!"

"GO! REVIEW RANGERS!"

The five Rangers morphed into their super-powered forms, and ran right through the light door, resolved to face and defeat any threat coming their way.

They stepped onto a parched, arid steppe with little to no vegetation to speak of. An ancient canyon overlooked the dusty earth beneath them, but the Rangers didn't have time to admire the wonders of nature. They were late for the battle.

An older Indian woman (that is, from India, not a native American) dressed in a red, yellow and white sari created a globe of yellowish fluid above her. She threw it toward the two Demons at the entrance to the canyon, and a younger Chinese man also dressed in red threw a fireball at the fluid, igniting it and causing a massive explosion that collapsed the canyon walls.

A thick cloud of dust and dirt was thrown up into the air, but the old woman and her apprentice weren't fooled. The young man whipped up a whirlwind that blew the smoke away as the old woman prepared another ball of gasoline, but the two Demons had disappeared.

"Huh?" The gas ball disappeared as the old woman noticed the Rangers. "Ah, you're Zona's apprentices. I can tell, because no properly-trained apprentices would intrude on the territory of a Great Wizard without prior notification."

"Uh, sorry?" the Critic said.

The old woman sighed. "I am Mars Illayana, the Great Wizard of Asia. But you will refer to me as 'Your Wizardness' at all times." Every word from her mouth dripped with disdain, and she had the look of an old schoolmarm. "Where is Zona? I have words for her."

"We thought she was still meeting with you." the Critic said.

"...It doesn't matter. Wing! We are done here." Illayana's apprentice, apparently named Wing, opened up a light door. "Tell Zona to stay on her own side of the world."

But before they could go through the light door, a mass of vines sprouted from the cracked ground, grabbing Illayana by the ankle. Wing shot a fireball at the vines, but his aim was quite off.

The rocks from the collapsed walls of the canyon cracked and shattered into little pieces, and Helkema emerged from his hiding spot underneath the ground. More vines sprouted from his arms, tying up both Illayana and Wing before the Rangers could react. He grimaced as he redirected the vines on his arms; evidently, he still hadn't recovered from the wounds he'd taken from the fight with the Rangers a few days ago.

**"Great Wizard."** Helkema said mockingly. **"These untrained children have injured me more than any of your kind combined."**

Another hole in the ground opened up, and the second Demon emerged from it. She was shorter and less ripped than Helkema, though she still exuded a certain lithe strength. Her body appeared to be relatively human, if you put aside the fact that her feet were bird-like talons and her head appeared to be that of a falcon. She had two sets of wings, each colored with a variety of shades of black, gray, brown and white.

**"Ah, these are the humans."** the woman Demon noted. Her voice wasn't as rough or deep as Helkema, but it still had a slight edge that made it inherently wrong. **"To be honest, they're not quite as impressive in person."**

**"It is easy to underestimate their kind."** Helkema said. **"I thought you would have learned that in your many years among them."**

"Yeah, about that." Lindsay said. "How did you guys escape being sealed?"

**"We disguised ourselves as humans."** the woman Demon said. **"The old Wizards wielded our Talent, which made it easy to hide among them. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them suspected our true nature, but no one ever accused us."**

"Okay, so you were just biding your time for four thousand years?" Spoony said. "You didn't think of advancing your boss' plot, whatever the hell that is?"

"Yeah, about that!" Linkara added. "What do you guys want? You've had plenty of opportunities to kill us, but you've consistently spared us. If you plan on killing all humans or conquering the world or something like that, you're doing a reeeally bad job."

**"Then, by process of elimination, we do not want either of those things."** Helkema said. **"It seems that I overestimated your intelligence."**

"Talentless monsters!" Illayana, still trapped by Helkema's vines, spat at the earth Demon's feet.

**"Oh, I forgot about you."** Helkema raised Illayana up, so that they were looking eye-to-eye. **"What do you think, Munomi? Should we inflict the same fate upon this human as her ancestors did to our young so many years ago?"**

**"No, show her mercy."** Munomi of Six Wings said. **"Drain her Talent and let her return to her peers."**

"Can't let you do that!" Joe shouted, firing a bolt of lightning at the Demons. Munomi created a transparent bubble around herself and Helkema, easily intercepting the bolt.

**"Quite advanced magic for humans."** Munomi noted. She retaliated by flapping her wings once, flooring all five Rangers with a sonicboom. Helkema's massive hand closed around Illayana's neck, and he grimaced again as he began draining her magic power.

But Helkema was distracted by a flaming knife piercing his shoulder, courtesy of Linkara. He threw Illayana to the side as he removed the dagger and threw it to the side.

**"Handle the humans."** Helkema said to Munomi. **"I will finish breaking the seal."**

**"Sure, make me do all the dirty work."** Munomi said playfully. She generated a huge round shield emblazoned with an image of the moon, as well as a double-ended spear longer than she was tall. **"Come on, humans. Let's play for a bit."**

Munomi charged at the Rangers, holding her massive shield in front of her as she flew just over the ground. Joe and Linkara rolled out of the way, while Spoony took a few potshots at her back with his crossbow; somehow, he managed to hit her with all three, though she didn't seem to be affected that much.

**"Come on, you're stronger that that, aren't you?"** Munomi taunted. She stuck one end of her spear into the ground and focused magic into it, surrounding herself with a tornado.

"Hold on, I've seen this before!" Spoony said. He switched his crossbow out for a spear as well, and got a running start before using the spear to pole-vault himself directly over the tornado; the vortex sucked him in, and he landed on Munomi's shoulders, missing with his spear but delivering a good kick to her face.

The tornado dissipated, and the other four Rangers rushed in while she was distracted. Spoony grabbed on to Munomi's neck, and they both toppled over; she managed to roll off of him, only to be met with a gunshot from the Critic. She let out an ear-shattering scream, knocking him back several feet with a burst of high-pressure sound waves.

"First Barbariccia, and now Fus Roh Dah? Come on, you've gotta have some tricks of your own!" Spoony taunted.

**"Don't get cocky!"** Munomi got to her feet and grabbed her spear out of the ground, throwing Linkara back with a gust of wind from her wings. Lindsay and Joe ran in with melee weapons; Munomi blocked an overhead swing from Joe, and intercepted a stab from Lindsay's naginata with one of her wings.

The Critic got back up, firing a couple more rounds into her back. This proved enough to distract her long enough for Spoony, Lindsay, Linkara and Joe to each land a hit in her body with their respective weapons.

**"Impressive."** Munomi said. Her body vanished into thin air, and she reappeared about twenty feet behind them. **"But you should know by now that we've only been playing with you. If we truly wanted to end you, we possess enough Talent to do so."**

"Sure you do. You're just trying to bluff." Spoony said.

"You know, Noah, has it ever occurred to you that taunting the ancient magical Demons might be a bad idea?" Lindsay said.

Before Spoony could answer, the ground shook beneath them. Helkema reappeared, looking even weaker than before; the vines making up his hair were brown and wilted, and large chunks of his rocky skin had fallen off, revealing a skeleton of the same black material making up his armor.

**"...It is done."** Helkema panted.

An enormous summoning circle opened behind them. Out of it stepped a Megazord-sized lion, seemingly made of liquid gold, and with a mane and tail of orange-yellow flames. It had long black incisors and claws, and its eyes were yellow and hungry-looking. On top of its head was a gigantic black cradle-like crown, which held a brilliant sphere of flame.

**"Flamelord, it is a pleasure to see you once again."** Munomi said, bowing to the lion Demon.

_**"MUNOMI AND HELKEMA, THE COWARDS WHO ESCAPED THE PURGE."**_ The Demon's voice was loud, obnoxious and had a very obviously demonic ring to it. **_"YOU ARE WEAKER THAN I REMEMBER. LIVING AMONG HUMANS HAS SOFTENED YOUR TALENT."_**

**"These humans are more powerful than the Wizards of old."** Helkema said, clutching his chest. **"The path of technology is more powerful than we expected."**

_**"FOOLS! NO HUMAN'S TALENT CAN MATCH TO OUR POWER."**_ The lion Demon looked right at the Rangers. _**"KNOW MY NAME AND DESPAIR, HUMANS. I AM RAXIN THE GLORIOUS, SECOND IN COMMAND TO THE LIGHT GOD, AND MY COMING HAS SEALED YOUR FATE. THE LIGHT GOD WILL WALK ON THIS WORLD AGAIN."**_

The sun on Raxin's crown flew into the sky, quickly disappearing from view. After a few moments, a shadow blotted out the sun, casting the entire planet into night. Oddly enough, the Moon still shone brightly... too bright...

An intricate white summoning circle appeared in midair, and out of it stepped Lux, the Light God and the leader of the Demons. He stood three times taller than a normal human, and he appeared to be covered (or even made out of) a white crystalline substance that seemed to give off its own light. He had ditched the simple robe and staff they'd seen on him before, and now he was only wearing a pair of black pants, exposing his literally sculpted manly chest for all to see. He had thin glass-like ridges on his shoulders and along his back, and his arms were proportionately longer and his hands bigger than a normal human's. His eyes were opaque light blue spheres, but his face was otherwise human, and he lacked any sort of hair.

"I have not stood upon this Earth for four thousand years." Lux said, in a voice that made the very planet itself tremble. His voice was impossibly loud, but lacked the rough edge or inherent wrongness of his three generals. "It is different than I remember, but it is still nostalgic."

_**"MA****_ST_ER LIGHT GOD, THESE HUMANS BLASPHEME BY USING OUR STOLEN TALENT AND THE PATH OF TECHNOLOGY."**_ Raxin said.

"Indeed they do." Lux noted casually. "Ranger-Humans, I have been watching your progress. You have gone from needing help against one of my weakest children to successfully fighting off one of my generals. I am quite impressed."

_**"MASTER LIGHT GOD, THERE IS NO NEED TO DIRTY YOUR HANDS. I SHALL INCINERATE THEM!"**_

"No."

_**"BUT-"**_

"Do you disobey my orders?" Lux said. Raxin skulked back a few feet.

"Okay, so maybe you can answer a question for us." the Critic said. "What the hell is your goal? You don't want to kill us or conquer the world, so why do you keep unleashing Demons?"

"You are bold, Ranger-Human. I respect that." Lux said. "My ultimate goal is to create a new world for my children, the ones you refer to as 'demons'. We have ruled over this planet in the past, but you have grown to dominate it in our absence, and I do not intend to pointlessly massacre your people or spill more innocent blood. But in order to do so, I require knowledge of the path of technology. Even our combined Talent is insufficient to terraform a planet, much less create one from nothing. That is all I desire: no more, no less."

"So what, we just hand our watches over and you leave us alone?" Lindsay asked. "What's to stop you from unleashing all of your children at once and killing us anyways?"

_**"INSOLENT HUMANS! I-"**_

"Silence!" Lux created a collar of glowing crystal around Raxin's neck. "You will not speak unless spoken to!" He turned back to the Rangers. "Nothing but my word, Ranger-Human. Ones with Talent are incapable of going back on an oath, under penalty of death."

"To be fair, you could be lying about not being able to lie." Spoony pointed out.

"You are clever, Ranger-Human." Lux smiled smugly. "But very well. If you do not wish to part with your stolen Talent, I will obtain it another way."

"Hold on!"

A light door opened, and Venus Zona stepped out of it, followed by Prospo.

**"Master Light God, this is the Wizard who created these Rangers."** Helkema said.

"I am aware." Lux looked at Zona. "But you are no mere Wizard, are you? No, you are more like us than them..."

"I offer myself to you, Master Light God." Zona bowed before Lux. "I am your humble servant Ouranous, incarnated within the body of a human."

"Fucking BITCH!" Spoony pointed his crossbow and fired at Zona, but she blocked it with a shield. "I fucking KNEW IT!"

"Noah!" Joe and Linkara restrained Spoony.

"I am sorry, Rangers." Zona said. "But it was inevitable that Master Light God would be unleashed. I spent my time studying the path of technology, so that I might give my knowledge to him."

"Then why, Zona?" Linkara asked. "Why even recruit us in the first place?"

Zona was silent.

"I am pleased to see that you survived as well, Ouranous." Lux created another white circle around himself and his four generals. "We shall retreat to my Domain for now. Ranger-Humans, I suspect that we shall see each other again."

The five Demons vanished, and the sky returned to normal. The five Rangers stood there in silence.

"...Come on, guys." Prospo said, opening another light door. He too had a pained expression on his face. "Let's, let's get back to the Sanctuary for now."


	10. Tempestry

"Land ho!"

George Somers, the helmsman of the ship Sea Venture, heard the call of one of his men through the downpour. The power of this tempest was unnatural; it'd been raining for three days and nights, and their ship was taking water far faster than they could scoop it out. They'd long since been seperated from the rest of their fleet, and they'd be lying at the bottom of the sea soon if they didn't do something.

"Sir!" A crewman came up from below deck. "Sir, we're gonna sink! The water's coming up through the wood!"

"What!" Somers shouted. "This is a new ship! She should be leak-proof!"

"We don't know what's going on, sir. But one of the men, he thinks that she wasn't ready to go. But sir, the water in the hold is higher than a man! We can't go much longer!"

"Damn it!" Somers swore.

"Land ho!" he heard again. Somers looked to the west, barely making out the silhouette of the shore. But even if they made it to the shore, they'd run aground over the reefs and wreck the hull... then again, if the hull was leaking anyways, what did they have to lose?

"All hands to port!" Somers shouted. "We're gonna run her on the shore! Come on boys, we'll make it!"

* * *

><p>The Sea Venture glinted in the midday light, its hull ruined by the reefs. The tempest they'd sailed through for three days had cleared up after they hit the shore, but the warm sun that dried out their drenched clothing was quickly becoming harsh. The crew stood on the shore, looking at their former ship in despair.<p>

"Chard, Carter, Waters. Alright, we're all here!" Chris Newport, the former Captain of the Sea Venture, called out. He held a list of the crew, and despite all odds, all of them had survived. Even their dog was still alive, though it was whining a bit.

"What're we gonna do, Captain?" one of the men said. "We're stuck in the middle of nowhere with no ship! We're all gonna die out here!"

"We certainly aren't gonna stand around and cry like a bunch of women!" Newport said. "Alright men! First thing we've gotta do is build some shelters! Grab some axes and get to chopping some wood!"

The crewmen all cheered. They ran to the longboats, each trying to grab one of the precious few axes they'd brought with them. A man named Will Carter was not among the lucky few; instead, he wandered into the lush tropical forest in the center of the island.

"Oy!" Will's friend Bart Waters ran through the undergrowth, calling for him. "Ey, Carter? Trying to cut down a tree with your bare hands?"

"No, I'm just, uh, looking for food! You know, mushrooms and berries and whatnot." Will said.

"Ha!" Bart laughed. "We've got enough salted pork to last us for years!"

"Yes, but if we don't get enough fruits and vegetables, we'll end up like those scurvy-dog pirates." Will said. "And besides..."

Will glanced over his shoulder, but whatever he'd seen out of the corner of his eye was gone.

"Ha! You've barely been on this island for a few hours, but you're already seeing specters." Bart patted Will on the back. "Come on, let's go get something to drink."

The rest of the day was spent building some makeshift shelters, using vines and rough wood to protect them from the sun and rain. As the harsh sun set, replaced by the darkness of night, there was no merriment or drinking under the stars; the crew of the Sea Venture was tired, and they slept well.

All except one.

Will laid awake, staring at the stars. The full moon sat in the eastern sky, casting a soft light upon the island. Man had a primal fear of the darkness, but Will quite liked it - it was peaceful.

"Eh?" Will looked up. He'd seen it again. It was a woman, he was sure of it. But what would a woman be doing here? Was she one of the Indians who lived here? If so, they would help them, for sure. Will grabbed a simple stick, and trudged off into the forest.

A blazing torchlight bobbed in the distance, and Will charged through the undergrowth toward it. It kept its distance from him, but he kept on going, cutting himself on the sharp branches of the trees, but he didn't care. The light was the only thing that mattered at this moment.

A flash of blue light appeared at Will's feet, and he fell on his face. He got up, but he had lost sight of the torch. He was stranded, alone, in the dark forest on an island in the middle of nowhere.

"William Carter?"

Will turned around, coming face to face with a beautiful raven-haired native woman. She held the torch he'd been chasing, and in its light, Will saw that she was wearing little more than elaborate body paint.

"Who, how do you know my name?" Will asked.

"I know many things. Come with me, Will." The woman smiled as she pranced into the darkness. He kept following, but as he chased the strange woman, the forest around him grew more twisted and unusual; the trees were gnarled and bright green, with sea-blue greenery.

"Hey!" Will called out. "Where am I? Hey!"

Will felt something or someone breathing on his neck. He turned around to see the woman again, though she was dressed this time, in a flowing indigo robe.

"Are you scared, Will?" she asked.

"No. This... this isn't Earth anymore." Will blurted out.

"Ah, very perceptive. Yes, I think you're the one."

The woman waved her arm, conjuring a silver staff with a large ruby set in the top. The alien trees seemed to almost bow to her as she chanted in a language he didn't recognize, raising an enormous wooden mansion from the earth itself.

"I am Venus Zona, the Great Wizard of this side of the world." She curtsied.

"W-wizard?" Will stammered. "You're a practioner of the Devil's arts!"

"Oh?" Zona said, looking amused. "But not the only one. You invoke the name of God and His angels in your spells, so that you might be blessed by Him. But you know that magic is against your ways, no matter who you call it from."

"Shut up!" Will went to bitchslap Zona, but she blocked his hand with her staff. She waved her other hand, conjuring chains of brilliant white ice that bound his arms and legs.

"You don't need to lie to me, Will. I assure you, magic is no more the Devil's art than ships or maps."

"Y-you harlot! Let me go!" Will struggled, but the magical chains could not be broken by his strength.

"You're capable of breaking yourself out, Will." Zona entered the mansion, leaving him outside to struggle with the chains.

It was true. Will had long since practiced magic in secret. He'd come across an old tome in a curiosity shop, and he couldn't help but trying some of the spells within - spells for good luck, wealth, long life, and the like. He'd gone to some lengths to find the reagents to perform them, but they hadn't worked... at least, he thought.

The chains were unnaturally cold. He could feel his hands shaking uncontrollably. He tried breaking them again, screaming as his entire body shook, but the chains held. The cold. He needed to warm up. If only he had some...

Fire.

The middle links broke as a wisp of flame escaped from them. He felt warmth returning to his hands, and he grabbed the links binding his feet; the heat from his hands melted the links, though the cuffs were more resistant.

"You're a quick one." Zona said, looking upon him from the mansion's balcony. "Yes, I chose well."

The doors opened, and Will stepped inside.

* * *

><p>In the next nine months, Will helped the crew of the Sea Venture rebuild their ship. The Venture herself was unusable, but they salvaged what they could and used the plentiful lumber of the island to build a smaller vessel, the Deliverance. But they still remembered their original mission: to bring supplies to the people of Jamestown, a colony in the New World, and the Deliverance would not be big enough to hold everything.<p>

So they decided to build a second vessel, the Patience. This ship was aptly named, as her construction would take them nearly another three months, and the surviving crewmen were itching to get off this island and back to their home.

Will decided that this was the time. Every night, he had wandered into the forest, into the alternate world where he learned magic from Zona. The icy cuffs remained around his wrists and ankles, though they were invisible in the real world - they served to bind his magic in the real world, but he decided that they were no longer needed.

"Crew of the Sea Venture!" Will announced to the crew as they laboured over the Patience. "I have been blessed with the gifts of God! Behold, His will works through me!"

Will heated up his hands, breaking the invisible cuffs on his wrists. With those gone, he was free to use his magic as he pleased. He broke off hundreds of trees, stripped and cut them in midair, bent and connected them into the shape of a hull, binding the entire thing with glue from the Venture. The crewmen looked in awe as the Patience completed itself, before their very eyes.

"What the-" Newport stammered. "Carter! What is the meaning of this?"

"A spirit on the island, she has taught me the ways of magic." Will said proudly. "And now, I shall bring her secrets to the world beyond, for the glory of England!"

"You've sold your soul to the Devil!" one man exclaimed. "He's a witch! He blasphemes the word of the Lord!"

The crew grabbed their various weapons and all charged toward Will, but Bart Waters stood between them.

"Wait!" Bart shouted. "We cannot kill Carter! We must bring him to justice for the crime of witchcraft!"

"He is a servant of Satan, and he will blight the Empire with his dark arts." Newport said. "Unless you wish to vouch for him?"

"I am not a servant of Satan!" Will protested. "Have you not heard the Jewish myths of old, of miracles caused by holy men, of the Golem of Prague? This is magic at work! It is not a black art, but a holy one!"

"Lies!" the crowd shouted.

"Okay." Bart said. "I will vouch for Carter. Leave us upon this island, so that we will live our lives in isolation. That way, the people of the Empire will not be blighted by darkness."

"So be it." Newport said. "Your souls are still damned. It matters not whether man or nature claims your bodies, your souls will be cast into the pit either way."

The remaining crew piled onto the two ships, casting off and sailing into the sunset. The two men, Will and Bart, stood upon the island, staring at the stripped ruins of the Sea Venture.

"Vouching for a witch. I suppose my soul truly is damned." Bart said mournfully. He grabbed one of the sharpened sticks they'd used to construct the Patience, and held it to his neck.

"Bart!" Will said, reaching toward his friend. But it was too late; the sharp end had drawn blood, and Bart collapsed to the ground, breathing in short gasps. Will placed his hands on Bart, using his magic in an attempt to heal the man, but he had not learned proper healing arts; Bart's arm bubbled up as if it was boiling, exploding in a shower of gore.

"I... I have nothing left." Will muttered. He pried the sharpened stick out of Bart's hand, but he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"I am still here." Zona said, comforting her apprentice. "If you wish, I can return you to your home, to live out the rest of your days with your family."

"No... no, I can't." Will dropped the stick and got up. "I've been branded a witch. If I returned, my family would only be prosecuted with me."

"I suppose so." Zona said. "So, you will forsake the world and walk the path of the Wizards?"

"...yes." Will said. "And I've chosen my new name. I shall be known as... Prospero."

"Prospero?" Zona giggled. "In a few hundred years, perhaps. For now, you'll be known as Prospo."

A light door opened, and the master Wizard and her apprentice stepped through it. Will Carter looked one last time at the Sea Venture, and at his dead friend, but it was too late for regrets. From now on, he would be known as Prospo the Wizard, the walker of the path of magic.

It was not until later that Prospo learned that the tempest truly was unnatural; Zona had conjured it, in order to get her mitts on her future apprentice. He'd never been resentful of this, but in hindsight, perhaps it should have given him a hint on her true nature...


	11. A Game Of You

"Damn it!"

Spoony kicked a chair over as the five Rangers and Prospo entered the main room of the Sanctuary. "I fucking knew it! We never should've trusted that fucking bitch!"

"We couldn't have done anything..." Joe said, shaking his head. "Their power, it was unreal. Even if we'd tried to fight, we would've just died uselessly."

"Well, it's done." Lindsay took off her watch. "The Demons have won. They've unsealed their boss, and it won't be long before an army reduces the entirety of human civilization to ashes. Funny, I thought we'd be the ones to do ourselves in."

"Don't give up just yet!" Prospo said, trying to keep the Rangers' spirits up. "Some of the curses on Lux have been broken, but he still doesn't have access to a lot of his magical power. He won't be able to unleash all of the sealed Demons at once, so we still have a chance."

"Yeah, we can't give up just yet." Linkara said. "We're still the only ones who can stop the Demons."

"Okay, so how do we fight back?" the Critic said. "We're not powerful enough to take on that lion guy, much less Lux. And if we intervene again, what's to stop them from, you know, just disposing of us?"

"Wait." Linkara said. "Prospo, how much do you know about these watches?"

"Well, I helped Zona build them." Prospo said.

"Could you build more?"

"I guess so, but it would take some time."

"Okay, but you can. That's the important thing." Linkara got up. "See, if my knowledge of Power Rangers is any good, this is the point in the season where we recruit a sixth ranger. I mean, technically, we should wait for one of the enemy Demons to make a face turn, but I get the feeling that won't happen."

"Dude, this isn't Power Rangers." Spoony pointed out.

"True, but what's to stop us from taking a few pages out of their book?" Linkara said. "If the enemy forces are getting stronger, we need to get stronger too. More Rangers, more powerful equipment, a new set of Zords? Any one of those things could give us the edge we need."

"Not to mention that you still need more training." Prospo said. "I'll teach you as much as I can, but there's only so much I can do on my own. What we really need is..."

"Another Great Wizard?"

The Rangers turned around to see a bald black woman, dressed in orange robes with a comically-large white fur collar and a pointy wizard hat decorated with rainbow-coloured feathers. She had a rather strange expression on her face, and her eyes were glazed over and almost dreamy.

"Y-your Wizardness!" Prospo jumped to his feet and bowed to the woman, his hat falling off again.

"Oh, hello Prospo. I didn't notice you there." The woman turned to the Rangers, taking off her hat. "Hi everyone. I'm Mercury Iris, the Great Wizard of Africa."

"Your Wizardness, how does Her Wizardness Illayana fare?" Prospo asked, still bowing.

"Oh, you can stop bowing to me. I like your eyes." Iris said. "Mars will be fine. Her apprentice is dead, but those can be replaced."

Iris noted the blank, slightly horrified expressions on the Rangers' faces.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I don't talk much." Iris walked around the table and took a seat right beside Prospo. "I tend to spend most of my time in dreams. Have you ever had a dream about Aurin Four? It's such a lovely vacation spot. I especially like the astrics, they're so fluffy..."

"Er, Your Wizardness?" Prospo said.

"Right." Iris said, snapping back to reality. "Venus' defection has split the Council. Uranus still thinks that the Wizards can deal with the Demons, but Jupiter and I realize that you five are our only hope. You're like a bunch of Obi-Wans."

"But you guys should've known she was a Demon, right?" the Critic said. "And those other two, Helkema and Munomi or whatever. Shouldn't you have been able to detect them?"

"Wizards are humans who have Demon souls bound to them. That's where the bulk of our power comes from." Iris said. "Only the Great Wizards know this. I'm sorry for not telling you, Prospo."

The Rangers sat in silence for a moment.

"I know, it's like, we're using their own power to wipe them out." Iris said. "Helkema and Munomi were hiding as two other Wizards, and they only outed themselves shortly after the last Council meeting. But now that the Moon God has regained some of their strength, they don't have to hide anymore."

"That... okay, that doesn't matter right now." Lindsay said. "We still need to stop them. You can train us, right?"

"I guess." Iris shrugged. "I mean, I live on the world too, and I don't want to see it destroyed. But first, I've gotta sleep. I've been up for, like, five hours..."

Iris opened a light door and stepped through it.

"She's kinda weird." Joe said.

"Most of the Great Wizards have their quirks." Prospo said. "Anyways, I know you guys are tired, so we'll start our training tomorrow. But first, supper time!"

* * *

><p>Spoony and Joe were eating lunch on a patio. Spoony had ordered a plate of curry, while Joe was chowing down on some enchiladas.<p>

"I just don't get it, man." Spoony said in between spoonfuls of curry. He wasn't usually for really spicy stuff, but this was really good. "Why was it us? What is it about internet reviewers that draw the souls of long-dead monsters to us?"

"I dunno." Joe shrugged. "What I want to know is why you're not wearing pants."

"Bwuh-" Spoony realized that he was, in fact, not wearing pants. "What the hell? Is this a dream or something?"

"You betcha." Joe chuckled. He grabbed his plate of enchiladas and chucked it at the waitress, who simply vanished. It was only then that Spoony noticed the extra eyes all over Joe's head, and his grin was looking oddly toothy...

"Oh God!" Spoony reached for his watch, but it wasn't there. He panicked as Joe licked his lips, savouring the sweet flesh of the human before him. The sky itself darkened as a bolt of lightning shot down, leaving a huge crater in the road behind them.

"God won't help you here..." The Joe monster lunged over the table, but Spoony blasted him back with a burst of wind. Seven spider-like black legs burst from Joe's back, and the monstrosity giggled like a child as Joe's broken body dangled uselessly from the bottom of the beast.

Spoony ran, blasting the monster with more concentrated bursts of wind. The monster was undeterred, and it kept charging at him.

"Wait, I'm in a dream." Spoony realized. "That means... dream logic." He grabbed a lamppost and smacked the monster with it, squishing it like the oversized bug it was. But a glowing portal opened in the dark sky, and more spider-like creatures descended from it, all giggling like a chorus.

Spoony gathered his inner magic, turning the lamppost into an autocrossbow. He pointed at the spiders and fired hundreds of bolts into each of them, creating each bolt with his magic. But no matter how many he felled, more came from the portal in the sky.

"Spoony!"

A small mecha charged down the street, pursued by its own wave of spiders. Spoony realized that the mecha belonged to Linkara, as it was wearing his trademark hat and jacket. Spoony fended off more spiders as he made his way to the mecha.

"What the hell is going on here?" Spoony shouted.

"It's a dream. I think it might be a Demon invading our minds!" Linkara said. "RAPID-FIRE ROCKET PUNCH!"

Linkara's mecha suddenly grew a bunch of extra arms, and each of them fired its forearms at the spider swarm. They exploded on impact, splattering black ichor everywhere.

"Pfff. I don't even need a mecha to do that." Spoony grabbed the legs of a nearby spider and chucked it away, giving him enough breathing room for showing off.

"WAATAAA!" Spoony struck a pose, then karate-chopped the throat of a spider, causing it to violently explode, spraying its suddenly acidic blood over the other spiders. "WAAAA-WATA!" He followed it up with a hundred blows to another spider, all in the span of an instant, causing it to die horribly.

"HOKUTO! SPOONY-JUST-OWNED-YOUR-ASS-KEN!" Empowered by awesomeness, Spoony mowed down even more spiders with spontaneous eye lasers, which he possessed despite not being Canadian.

"Sure, pull out the Fist of the North Star crap." Linkara said, visibly unamused. "How about this? These hands of mine are burning red! Their loud roar is telling me to grasp victory! ERUPTING! BURNING! FINGER!"

Linkara's many-armed mecha scooped up hundreds of spiders in his glowing red hands, immolating them all with intense heat.

"And now! HEAT END!" The entire mecha exploded, killing off the rest of the spiders. But due to dream logic, neither he nor Spoony were harmed.

"Please." the Critic said, riding up on a demonic badass motorcycle. In one hand was an axe-guitar, and in the other was a four-barreled shotgun.

"Eh, my mecha was better." Linkara said.

"Whatever. I don't need any of that special attack crap. I got a shotgun!" the Critic chuckled. "So what's going on here?"

"Uh, that." Spoony pointed at the still-active portal in the black sky above them. It had stopped spitting out spiders, but that only meant that something bigger was coming through...

"That works." The Critic said. "Also, you're not wearing pants. Did you know?"

"Yes." Spoony sighed.

The ground beneath them started to shake, and a bright white summoning circle appeared around the sky portal. Dozens of red-skinned demons appeared around the three of them, but these were slightly different than the mooks they'd cut through before; these ones were covered in white feathers, including huge wings in place of arms, and they had obsidian beaks in place of mouths.

"Munomi." Linkara sneered. "These are patterned after her."

The minor demons cawed and charged after the Rangers, but Linkara repelled them with a shiny hexagonal barrier. This gave Spoony time to get his autocrossbow back, which he unloaded into the demons as soon as the barrier dropped. On the other side, the Critic fired his ridiculous shotgun into the other demons, while Linkara generated his giant mecha arms (only the arms, mind) and scooped up more demons and gave them the Erupting Burning Finger.

These minor demons were somewhat stronger, but the three Rangers far outclassed them. Even though they were still in a dream, the Rangers' growing magic power was completely real.

More winged demons emerged from the summoning circle, but a huge ballista bolt took out about two dozen in one shot. The Rangers turned to see Lindsay and Joe piloting an enormous siege tower with a huge ballista on the top and various cannons on the front.

"Overkill." Spoony said. "Total overkill."

"Well, it works." Lindsay said.

The third wave was several hundred spiders, a few dozen winged demons and Munomi herself, protected by a feather barrier. Despite its rather fragile look, Munomi's barrier protected her from two ballista bolts, buckshot and a rocket punch, though they did take out most of her entourage.

**"I agree with Spoony, dear. That is a bit extreme."** Munomi scolded as she touched down on the ground.

"Okay, so why are you in our dreams?" the Critic asked. "Wouldn't it make more sense to just, you know, kill us in reality?"

**"Unfortunately for you, we don't have access to the Sanctuary just yet."** Munomi said. **"Ouranous gave up the right to enter it when she defected, and Wizards' pocketspaces are quite well enchanted."**

Rather than listen to her monologue, the Rangers all morphed, despite lacking watches. The Critic, Spoony, Linkara and Joe generated melee weapons and rushed her, while Lindsay cleaned up the rest of the mooks with her siege tower. Munomi's barrier fell quickly under the assault, but she blew them all away with a supersonic scream, which also took a chunk out of the tower. Lindsay fired one last bolt right at Munomi's heart, but she stopped the bolt in midair and threw it to the side, crushing a few spiders.

"Wait a minute." Spoony said. "You just called me 'Spoony'."

**"Would you prefer 'darling?'"** Munomi teased. **"Or perhaps 'dear'? Master Light God calls you 'Ranger-humans', but that's so vulgar."**

"Yeah, because you should always refer to your mortal enemies respectfully." the Critic snarked.

**"Oh, why not?"** Munomi frowned. **"And you five aren't really our enemies. We only want the Wizards, really. You got dragged into this against your will, so we don't blame you. And you've only killed our kin because you're trying to save your planet. It's quite commendable, really."**

"Why don't you just drop this faux-friendly shit and get serious against us?" Joe said. "I'd rather die a proud warrior than be toyed around with by some bitch who thinks she's better than us!"

Joe charged his axe with lightning and ran at Munomi, cutting right through another sonic blast. She lashed out with her wings, but Joe cleaved right through them, and through her body as well. While she was vulnerable, the other four Rangers stuck their various melee weapons through her as well.

**"So predictable."** Munomi sighed. **"This is a dream, dolts. You can't kill me here, just like I can't kill you. I just wanted to have some fun, but then you stick pointy things in me."**

"I bet that happens a lot to you." Lindsay said.

**"Ha ha!"** Munomi laughed. **"Well, it's true. Before the Purge, your people worshipped me and Helkema as fertility gods. Do you know anything about Sumerian mythology? Well, Ishtar's based on me. No lie. Course, I looked a bit different back then, but I have a soft spot for the Egyptians."**

"Yeah, the bird head's a bit of a turn off for us non-furries." Spoony commented.

"Wait, if you can't kill us, why are you here?" the Critic asked.

**"Oh, you mortals."** Munomi vanished, reappearing a few feet to the left. She had no lasting wounds from the various pointy implements that were previously in her. **"Immortals get so bored. Even your Wizards fall victim to ennui every so often. We need to get out and have fun too!"**

"So your idea of fun is to invade the dreams of your enemies?" Linkara said.

**"Sure! I've been hanging out on the periphery of your dreams for a couple of weeks now, though I doubt you remember anything about it. Lindsay, did you know you're a great kisser?"**

"I, uh-" Lindsay blushed. "I do remember that one."

**"I thought so."** Munomi laughed, but the laugh overed quickly as she noticed a bright orange light in the sky. **"Aw, it's Mercury. Oh well. See you later, Rangers!"**

Munomi and the white summoning circle vanished, as a beam of orange light crashed down on the ground. Iris stepped out of it, dressed in an impossibly-fancy rainbow dress.

"Rangers, are you alright?" Iris asked. Unlike her waking self, this Iris was stern and completely serious.

"Yeah, she just, uh, wanted to 'play'." the Critic said.

"I doubt that. Munomi's specialty is mind-control magic." Iris said. "Joe, she's the one that controlled your girlfriend."

"I see." Joe said, visibly seething with rage. "I'll have to inflict some more permanent wounds on her when we meet again."

"When we wake, I'll give your minds a once-over for geases or post-hypnotic suggestions." Iris said. "Just, uh, make sure you remind me."

"Won't you remember yourself?" Joe asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. See, I have a number of astral avatars running around the Noosphere, and my physical body isn't much more than a shell. I'm going to call a few of them back so I can properly train you, but I might seem like a bit of a space cadet until then."

Iris stepped back into the orange light and vanished. The other five Rangers did the same, returning to more peaceful dreams for the rest of the night.


	12. Freezer Burn

Spoony stepped out of a light door, into a very steampunk-flavoured hangar. He'd never been here before; it's not like the Rangers were prohibited from coming here or anything, but they just had no real reason to check this place out. But Spoony's natural curiosity compelled him to check it out.

The Review Megazord stood tall and proud in the center of the hangar. It was a lot taller from Spoony's point of view, but even the top of its helmet didn't even come close to the top of the hangar; if there was a ceiling, it was way up there. Around three or four dozen high-intensity spotlights shone from the ground at the Megazord, illuminating it for all to see.

But Spoony was more interested in the series of doors to his right. Each door led to a workshop of sorts; all but one of the doors were closed, and the opened one simply led into a light door. Spoony stepped through it without fear, appearing in a combination blacksmith's forge and watchmaker's shop. The diminutive wizard Prospo sat in the middle of the workshop, though his back was turned to Spoony.

Prospo had mentioned before that he was going to work on some more morphing watches, and Spoony was interested in how they were made. Perhaps they could even learn how to make them himself; even if they weren't as high quality as the watches the current Rangers had, quantity could make a difference against the Demons.

"What's going on, Prospo?" Spoony asked.

"Oh, Noah!" Prospo turned around to greet Spoony, and he set both the dial of a nearly-complete watch and a set of tweezers down on the table. He took off a headband with various degrees of magnifying lenses off of his head, and set it down next to an organized pile of tiny bronze parts.

"So how goes the next watch?" Spoony asked again.

"It's almost complete. Well, the physical part is; I still need to enchant it with a few spells." Prospo sounded like his usual cheery self, but Spoony detected a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh, sorry, I guess I interrupted." Spoony backed away, but Prospo beckoned him closer.

"No, it's okay. I'm good at multitasking!"

Spoony pulled up a stool; Prospo conjured up another lens headband thing, and Spoony slipped it on. He flicked a few of the lenses down and looked at the remaining pieces of the watch. "So you're a watchmaker?"

"Huh? Oh no, I used to be a sailor." Prospo said nonchalantly. "I took up watchmaking as a hobby. We immortals gotta keep ourselves occupied, right? So when we started preparing to recruit you and the other Rangers, Zona asked me to build these to hold her spells."

"I see." Speaking of Zona, Spoony had meant to ask him about something else. "Did you... did you suspect Zona of being a traitor?"

"No, of course not." Prospo said. "The Wizards have a slightly different set of morals than regular humans. They don't have any problem doing things like recruiting humans to fight their war, but it's all for the greater good..."

"Yeah yeah, greater good." Spoony had heard that excuse before. "But why would Zona even bother making these things if she just planned on betraying us? Any ideas?"

"I've been thinking about that too." Prospo picked up the tweezers, and carefully set one of the tiny gears inside the watch. "If Her Wizardness Iris isn't lying about Demon souls serving as our sources of magic, it's possible that Zona found some way to awaken its dormant personality. Which means that she's either going undercover to destroy the Demons from inside..."

"...or she's been corrupted by it." Spoony said solemnly. "Anyways, I actually came down to ask you about something. What exactly is the Megazord?"

"Er, what do you mean?" Prospo picked up another one of the tiny parts and set it inside the little gear.

"Well, obviously it's a giant robot, but is it powered by raw magic? And how exactly does the light door summoning spell work?"

"Oh, like that. Well, the Megazord out there is pretty much just a mockup. If you tried to pilot that, it'd just collapse in on itself." Prospo set down the watch again. "The Megazord you guys pilot is actually generated on the spot by your watches. It's pretty similar to the Weapon Generation spell, and we're able to handwave away some of the physics problems by using hefty magic to construct it rather than pure technology."

"Makes sense, I guess." Spoony said. "So the Megazord's summoned by Weapon Generation, huh? So that means we could use our magic to modify it on the fly, right?"

"Uh? I guess. I've never really thought of that possibility, but I guess there's no reason why you couldn't. It would take a lot of your energy to do it, though."

"I see..." Spoony thoughtfully stroked his chin. "What if we modified the template out there, like, say, adding more weapons to it? We'd be able to use those next time we summoned it, right?"

"You betcha." Prospo said. "That's how we added those magic missile emitters."

"Very interesting. Er, sorry for interrupting you."

"Oh, it's alright. It's so quiet down here, especially without Zona..."

But Prospo had little time to reminisce about his master, as a ghostly avatar of Iris, dressed in a bright-orange set of full plate mail, appeared before them.

"Mr. Spoon, you're needed in the Main Gate." Iris said. "Another Demon's appeared."

"...Mr. Spoon?" Spoony remarked. "Whatever. Well, thanks for chatting with me, Prospo. I guess I'll see you later."

"Good luck!" Prospo chirped as Spoony ran through the light door. He looked back down at the watch, and tears began flowing down his rosy cheeks. He had tried to stay strong in front of the Rangers, but he had been hurt by Zona's betrayal more than they could ever know.

The five Rangers stepped out of a light door into a snowy tundra, apparently somewhere in the north-western coast of Russia. A cold wind blew across the land, and even their suits barely protected them.

"Fuck, it's cold." Spoony said. "So these things protect us from direct flame but not the cold?"

"It's not so bad once you get used to it." Linkara said, knowing this from experience. "The important thing is that we find that Demon."

Iris hadn't been able to get a direct fix on the source of the Demon's seal, so they were just in the general vicinity. They assumed that they would just find another one of the summoning circles, or that some of the mook demons would show up and inadvertently guide them, but they had no guarantee of either.

"Don't we have some way to detect them?" Lindsay tugged on one of the fake pigtails attached to her helmet, and a minimap popped up on the inside of her helmet's visor.

"Huh, how'd you do that?" Joe asked. Lacking pigtails, he just pressed the side of his own helmet, and the same display popped up.

"I dunno, just figured it'd work." Lindsay shrugged. The summoning circle was a few hundred yards to the south, according to the display; they started walking toward it, shivering all the way.

"My nipples are getting hard." Spoony commented.

The other Rangers just looked at him.

"What? I wanted to break the ice." Spoony said.

"Still, too much information." the Critic said. In preparation for the fight, he generated a red six-shot revolver, as well as a belt and holster around his waist in which the revolver was stored.

"And how'd you do that?" Joe said. "I thought our suits were limited to generating weapons."

"Well, it's sort of a weapon." the Critic said. "And I was able to generate it, so I guess the suit agrees."

Linkara did the same, generating two belts each holstered with a magic gun, as well as a sheathed broadsword on his back. "Well, if yuo wanted to really stretch the definition of weapon, you can pretty much weaponize anything, couldn't you? I mean, you could kill a man with a spoon if you were dedicated enough."

Just to try out this hypothesis, Spoony did indeed generate a simple spoon in his hand.

"I'm reminded of The Matrix in more ways than one." Spoony commented. The spoon dissolved into energy, and he replaced it with a crossbow and a short-long pair of swords on his hip. Lindsay generated an ultra-sharp naginata, while Joe generated a shotgun with a Lancer bayonet.

"What do you mean by that?" the Critic asked.

"We can't break the rules, but we can bend them." Spoony said. "If the suit's definition of 'weapon' can be stretched to include a spoon, we can use it to pretty much generate anything."

"No kidding." Linkara generated a cell phone, a flute and a copy of his trademark hat on the snow in front of him. "I guess it doesn't work for anything living, though. I was trying to create a flower and a cow."

But the Rangers had no further time to play with their powers, as a fiery-red summoning circle appeared abruptly in front of them. Dozens of minor demons poured out of it, but these weren't quite the conventional red-skinned mooks they were accustomed to fighting; these were quadripedal, with wolf-like heads (though still with black horns) and streaks of flame across their bodies in place of fur.

"So these are Raxin's special footsoldiers." Joe said, blasting a few with his shotgun. "Remember the other night? Munomi had winged versions of these guys."

"Yeah, and they went down just as easily." One of the fire demons pounced at the Critic, but he sliced it clean in half with a single stroke of his scythe. "Of course, that was in a dream, but they don't seem any tougher in real life."

"They're just meant to delay us, and they know it." Linkara drew both of his guns and blasted away, taking out a couple dozen demons alone. More fire demons jumped out of the summoning circle, replacing their fallen comrades.

But unlike the demons they'd fought before, these ones were acting at least somewhat intelligently. They were keeping their distance, only entering close-quarters when they thought they had an opening; most of them were instead flinging chunks of red crystal at the rangers.

"Hold on, I think I've seen these before!" Joe shouted. He fired another shotgun blast, destroying a couple of the crystals, which burst into flame upon shattering. The demons' aim was fairly poor, and most of the crystals fell short of the Rangers, but the sheer volume of them resulted in a field of almost continuous flame between the two forces.

The demons, immune to their own flames, ran into the fire without regard. It served to better camouflage them... though their black horns stuck out like a sore thumb.

"My turn." Lindsay swung her spear a couple of times, creating a burst of ultra-cold air with each sweep. The winds easily blew out the flames (and blew back a few of the demons).

"Hey, wind is my thing!" Spoony held out his hands in the traditional Hadoken pose and shot an almost perfectly cylindrical wind vortex, the sheer force of which ripped several fire demons apart.

"If it makes you feel better, you can say that I'm water-affinity." Lindsay said. She replaced the blade of her naginata with a much wider blade made of crystalline ice, which sliced right through multiple fire demons with barely a tap.

"And I'm all about the shock and awe!" Joe ran right into melee range and unloaded his Force Lightning, though it proved to be less than effective on the fire demons. So he just started chopping them up with his chainsaw shotgun.

"So does that make me earth, or fire?" Linkara tried conjuring some flame, but he could barely create a few embers in the palm of his hand; he instead tried stomping the ground and creating a stalagmite, but the ground barely deformed a few feet in front of him.

"Neither, by the looks of it." the Critic said. "Maybe you're heart."

"Hey, heart is an awesome power!" Linkara protested. "Hell, Ma-ti could have summoned thousands of wild animals and mind-controlled people!" Just for kicks, he tried exerting his will over a nearby fire demon; it seemed to struggle with indecision for a moment, but it shrugged it off and pounced at him. He blasted it away with his magic gun, though he was visibly disappointed.

"I love how we're all so casual about this." Spoony said, blasting another group of demons with another wind vortex. "It's like these guys aren't even worth fighting anymore."

"They never were much of a threat in the shows either." Linkara commented. "It's the big guys we should be worried about."

Speaking of which, the summoning circle grew to several times its normal size. An enormous hole opened within it, and out climbed Raxin, the fiery lion Demon Lord that had been unsealed a few days ago.

_**"HUMANS."**_ Raxin said with contempt. They noticed that he still had Lux's crystal collar around his neck. _**"YOU USE OUR TALENT WITHOUT THE RESPECT IT DESERVES. I WILL PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE."**_

"Wow, that was possibly the most generic villain speech I've ever heard." Spoony said.

_**"YOU!"**_ Raxin reared up on his hind legs, but the collar emitted a pulse of white light, causing him to screech in pain. **_"YOU... CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THAT MASTER LIGHT GOD HAS ORDERED ME NOT TO KILL YOU."_**

The summoning circle belched out a huge plume of smoke, and Raxin vanished while within it. Instead, an even larger Demon, resembling an eight-armed ice giant, emerged from its depths. It was somewhat humanoid, but it had a huge icy turtle shell on its back, and its head was also somewhat turtle-like, though with a more bird-like beak.

The Demon's icy shell was semitransparent, and within it, the Rangers could see the flowing magma that served as its blood. The Demon opened its mouth and blew an arctic wind across the field, putting out the last of the flames and killing all of the minor demons that still remained.

"An icy turtle-man... with magma in it." the Critic said, dumbfounded by the bizarre nature of the Demon before them. "Okay, I think it's Megazord time. Prospo! Any time now!"

The Rangers ran away from the massive Demon as shells of light energy formed around them. Each shell shot upwards, automatically arranging themselves as they expanded into the shapes of the Review Megazord's components.

"Well, at least it's warm in here." Lindsay said as the Rangers appeared in the Megazord's cockpit. Even the Megazord was dwarfed by the Demon, which stood at least twice as tall as it, and it appeared to be growing bigger still.

As its first attack, the Demon vomited up some of its magma, scorching the ground even further. The Rangers combined their magical power into a shield that protected them from the attack, though they could feel the intense heat of the molten rock even from within its cockpit. Joe fired a salvo of magic missiles at the Demon, which did little more than crack its icy skin; magma leaked out of the wounds, though it didn't appear to melt the ice at all.

The Demon, slightly angered by the minor damage they'd inflicted upon it, charged at the Megazord like a raging bull. The Rangers backed away a few steps before turning around and running full-tilt, but the Demon easily caught up to them, grabbing the Megazord with all eight of its arms.

"Okay, that didn't work." the Critic admitted. "Sorry, I panicked."

"We're right where we need to be!" Joe said confidently. He activated the magic missile emitters again, blasting the Demon's face point-blank; when the dust cleared, all of its head and most of its neck were destroyed. Lindsay rammed the Megazord's drill knees into the Demon's stomach, easily piercing through its shell and wounding it further, though the drills and parts of the Megazord's legs melted slightly from the intense heat.

The Demon dropped the Megazord and stumbled backwards. It was badly hemorrhaging magma from the various wounds on its body, though it didn't seem to be affected by the loss of its head. Then again, it was a magical ice golem with magma blood, so it probably didn't have a traditional brain anyways.

The Megazord attempted to get back up, but exposure to the intense heat had severely reduced the integrity of its legs. They crumpled and splintered as the Megazord tried propping itself up.

"Shit!" the Critic said. "We're sitting ducks!"

"Not necessarily." Spoony said. "Lewis, didn't the original Megazord have some sort of tank formation?"

"Yeah, but how does that help us?" Linkara asked.

"I was chatting with Prospo, and he said that we might be able to modify the Megazord on the fly." Spoony said. "Joe, Lindsay, try converting the legs into tank treads."

"Uh, I guess it's worth a shot." Joe and Lindsay pressed their hands on glowing circles in the center of the control panels, and the Megazord's legs turned back into shells of light energy. Each shell warped and grew further, forming a single indigo-colored tank-like bottom highlighted with blue and black, and with the golden drills forming at the front of the tank. The Megazord's upper body sat centered on top of the treads, serving as a turret of sorts. The conversion to tank mode also repaired the heat-based damage the legs had took.

"Well, that works." the Critic said. "Okay then! Onward, Megatank!"

The Megatank lumbered forward, plowing through the semi-cooled magma without harm. The Demon was just getting to its feet when the Megatank slammed into it, the front-facing drills taking out its legs while the upper body fired magic missiles, grenades and magic gun bursts at the Demon's torso. The Critic created a barrier which protected them from the large amounts of bleeding magma, though the heat once again melted the very front of the Megatank's treads.

"And now, it's time for a finishing move!" the Critic yelled. "Mass Eradication!"

The Megatank's chest opened up, and a huge cannon emerged from it. The cannon charged up, and as the Demon once again futilely attempted to get up, it was turned to Swiss cheese by hundreds of multicolored energy beams. The final burst completely destroyed what remained, annihilating the Demon for good.

"All things considered, that was pretty easy." Lindsay said. "I don't know if that one was just weak, or if we're getting more powerful, or what."

"It helps that we're not just relying on brute force anymore." Spoony said. "I mean, yeah, we're still blasting the shit out of them, but we can switch up our tactics a bit with alternate weapons or configurations."

"We need all the help we can get if we plan on surviving this." Linkara said. "Okay, let's get back to the Sanctuary."

"Can't let you do that, Rangers!" A rectangular screen, displaying Iris' still rather dreamy face, popped up from the floor. "We're still detecting a strong reaction from that area."

"But we killed the fuck out of that Demon." Spoony said. "Unless it's like that snake thing, and that was just a remote-controlled body..."

"No, it's not that." Prospo said from offscreen. "We think..."

But Prospo was interrupted by something jumping on the back of the Megatank, and the sound of something ripping right through metal. The Megatank's upper body spun around a few times, flinging Raxin off of its back.

**_"DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, HUMANS?"_ **Raxin growled, snarling like the beast he was. He reared up and pounced, but he was stopped in midair by another shock from his collar.

Out of nowhere, around a quarter of the sky was blotted out by darkness, showing the brightly-shining Moon within it. Lux's face appeared within the darkness, superimposed over the Moon, looking down on both Raxin and the Megazord.

"What are you doing, Raxin?" Lux calmly asked, his voice echoing across the tundra. "The one with Talent has been destroyed. You are to retreat."

_**"MASTER LIGHT GOD, I BEG OF YOU!"**_ Raxin said. _**"GRANT ME A BOON! ALLOW ME TO DESTROY THE HUMANS RIGHT HERE!"**_

"I see no reason to do that." Lux said.

"What, you're afraid that he'll kill us?" the Critic taunted. "We can take this overgrown cat. Right, guys?"

The other Rangers just looked at the Critic.

"Oh?" Lux too looked right at the rangers, a look of bemusement crossing his crystal lips. "You press your luck, Ranger-Humans. I could wipe you out with a wave of my hand. You only survive because you still have use to me."

"Then go ahead and do it!" the Critic shouted. "If you think you're some all-powerful god, then actually show off some of your power! Don't just bullshit around with us!"

"As you wish." Lux's face, and the darkened patch of the sky, vanished. "Do not disappoint me, Raxin."

The crystal collar around Raxin's neck stopped glowing. The flames of Raxin's mane flared up, turning blue in the middle.

"What the hell did you do that for, Doug?" Linkara said angrily.

**_"HA! YOU'RE STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT, HUMANS!"_** Raxin said. **_"NOW FEEL THE FLAMES OF THE SUN GOD!"_**


	13. Sun God

"Okay, seriously, Doug. What the hell was that?"

The four Rangers looked at their leader, angry that he would do something so stupid. He'd just taunted Lux, their ultimate enemy, into unleashing his most powerful servant upon them - said servant, a golden lion named Raxin, pounced upon the Megatank, sinking his teeth into the giant robot's right arm.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." the Critic said. He grabbed the nape of Raxin's neck with the Megatank's left arm, and Spoony fired a few grenades point-blank into the Demon; Raxin jumped back, snarling at the Rangers.

"Okay, so here's the thing. Lux has a bunch of curses on him which limits his power, right? And they unsealed Raxin, who could break some of the curses, but not all of them, or at least not all of them at once. So if we kill Raxin now, we can stop Lux from becoming more powerful, and take out a key member of his forces, too."

"Yeah, but did you really need to taunt Lux into breaking the collar?" Lindsay asked.

"I don't think it limited any of his power, it just keeps him under control. So either way, we'd be fighting him at full strength."

The flames of Raxin's mane seemed to recede for a moment as Raxin opened its mouth wide, showing off its rows upon rows of jagged black teeth. It spat out a thick stream of flaming napalm; the Megatank conjured up a shield that protected them from the main stream, but it splattered all around them, charring both the snowy ground and the cooled magma, reducing what remained of it into ash.

"So, I'm thinking we should switch back to legs." Joe said. "Not that I don't love tanks, but at least we'd be a bit more mobile."

"Sounds good."

The Megatank's tank treads turned back into light, reforming as legs. Raxin belched out more napalm, but Linkara and Spoony fired magic gun bursts and grenades at him, forcing him to close his mouth.

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Joe reformed the legs, but the feet were slightly different than before; they retained short, wide tank treads on the soles of the feet.

"It works, I guess." the Critic said. The Megazord leaned forward and the treads did their work, rolling right through the cooled magma and burning napalm without a problem. Raxin switched his napalm for straight-up fire, but Spoony and Lindsay countered it with a concentrated blast of ultracold air.

_**"GRRARGH!"**_ Raxin side-stepped out of the way of the Megazord's icy wind, and responded with projectile black spikes from his black crown. The bullet-like spikes traveled too quickly to counter, easily piercing through the Megazord's thick armour and traveling right out the back. Nothing vital was hit, fortunately, but they were still taken aback by the attack.

The Megazord switched back to conventional weapons, firing more magic missiles and grenades at Raxin. The great lion's mane flared, shielding him with a cloak of fiery energy, which dispelled and melted the Megazord's weapons before they even struck him. He fired more now-flaming spikes at them; the Rangers brought up a shield as quickly as they could, but not before a couple of the bullets hit some important servos in the left arm, disabling it.

"Spoony, can you heal that?" the Critic asked.

"Working on it!" The left arm turned back into light, while Linkara fired more magic gun bursts which failed to pierce Raxin's cloak. The fiery bullets shattered into pieces upon impact with the Rangers' shield, but Raxin seemed to have an unlimited amount of them, and their energy was rapidly diminishing.

"Dude, we have swords!" Joe pointed out. "Why don't we try those?"

"We'd have to get close to him, and I don't think we can get around convection here." Lindsay said. "Uh, Lewis, why not trying modifying your magic guns to get fire-retardant foam or something?"

"Uh, I'll try." The Megazord's right arm turned into light as the left arm solidified, good as new and with two more grenade launchers and a gatling gun. Spoony unloaded his entire armament into Raxin's flames, doing comparatively little.

**_"PERHAPS YOU HAVE RECONSIDERED YOUR BLIND RECKLESSNESS, HUMANS?"_** Raxin taunted. _**"I WOULD TELL YOU TO LEARN FROM IT, BUT YOU WILL NOT LEAVE THIS PLACE ALIVE."**_

Raxin's flame cloak retracted, condensing into a dazzling ball atop his black crown. He let out a demonic roar, and the ball of flame shot out a huge beam of white-hot magical energy. The Megazord's shields barely kept the beam at bay, but the Rangers could feel the heat, even in the cockpit.

Fortunately, the right arm's fire-extinguisher attachment finished up, and Linkara sprayed a torrent of white foam at Raxin. The foam worked surprisingly well, quenching the flame on Raxin's crown and dousing his body, preventing him from reigniting his mane.

_**"GGGH! WHAT IS THIS- STUPID HUMANS AND YOUR STUPID TRICKS!"**_ Raxin charged blindly at the Megazord, firing more spikes at them while running; the Megazord stepped to the side, drew its lightsabers and thrust both of them into Raxin's back. Unfortunately, these lightsabers weren't focused plasma, but regular old magic, so they left bruises but didn't cut right through.

Raxin spat out a few mouthfuls of foam and attempted to blow more fire breath at the Megazord, but he just coughed like a cat puking up a hairball. The Megazord got up all in Raxin's grill, shoved the grenade launchers on its right arm right into Raxin's mouth, and fired away, dealing massive internal damage.

"Yeah, I'm still thinking this wasn't a good idea." Joe said.

"Sorry, but it was a spur of the moment thing." the Critic said. "And we're doing pretty well so far, aren't we?"

"But we're running out of energy fast." Lindsay said. "And we've barely done any actual damage to him."

_**"HUMANS!"**_ Raxin roared, flaring up and burning away the last of the foam. _**"YOU HAVE YET TO SEE THE TRUE POWER OF THE TALENT. ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU!"**_

"Oh gee, he's going to transform. What a twist." Spoony mocked.

Raxin once again surrounded itself in a flame cloak, but this time, the flames twisted and moved, reconfiguring into a more humanoid shape. Raxin stepped out of the flames, looking more like a human with lion features, as well as hair and a cape of pure flame, and a black tunic. He still retained the black crown, which had a small blue star floating on it.

**_"I'LL KILL YOU ONE BY ONE!"_** Wolverine-style black claws slid out of Raxin's wrists, but instead of running at the Megazord and trying to stab them, he instead fired them as projectiles, quickly regenerating them between shots.

"Wait." Spoony said as they brought up a shield. "Instead of a Protect spell, why don't we go with... Reflect!"

The semitransparent shield gained a blue tint, and the fired spikes started bouncing off of it, reflecting them back at Raxin. He immediately realized this trick and stopped firing spikes, but he still got hit by a few of them; however, unlike the Megazord, he easily regenerated the damage.

"Really? You're going with the Final Fantasy magic?" Lindsay said.

"Hey, it worked!" Spoony said. "Now we just need to figure out some heavy shit, like Flare or Meteor."

_**"DIE!"**_ Raxin fired a bolt of lightning from his fingers, piercing through the Reflect spell and shocking the Megazord. The Rangers were unaffected, but the massive shock partially disabled the giant robot. While they were temporarily immobilized, Raxin ran forward and stabbed the Megazord repeatedly with his claws.

Joe forced some of his own lightning through the Megazord's chest cannon, but Raxin shrugged it off. The Critic raised another shield, but Raxin's claws broke through that too.

"Bad news, guys!" Prospo's disembodied voice said. "The Megazord's damaged beyond repair. I can try to re-conjure it, but I'll have to dismiss it, and it'll take a few minutes to bring it back."

"We don't have a few minutes!" the Critic said angrily. "We'll get smashed if we're just running around without the Megazord!"

"I hate to suggest this, but... why don't we just retreat for now?" Spoony suggested. "I know, it's not really a 'heroic' thing, but we can just head back to the Sanctuary and recover a bit. He might even get bored and go back to wherever they hang out."

"He won't." Iris said. "If you retreat, he'll head to the nearest populated area and destroy everything in and near it."

"Wait, hang on." Linkara said. "Prospo, can the Megazord split apart?"

"I'm sorry?" Prospo asked.

"Well, in most of the Power Rangers series I've seen, the Megazord is made up of a few lesser Zords, which transform and combine into a bigger robot. So, can we split the Megazord apart and use the component Zords to gang up on him?"

"No, I'm afraid not. We designed the Megazord as a single machine..."

"But what's stopping us from reconfiguring them into smaller Zords?" Spoony suggested. "Hang on, I'm going to try something."

Spoony vanished, and the Megazord's left arm transformed back into light, presumably with him somewhere inside it. Raxin, taking note of that, tried to stab the light shell, but his claws broke upon hitting it.

The light shell reformed into a sized-up version of Burton, Spoony's robot prop, though with yellow streaks all over. Burtonzord fired a high-intensity laser from its single eye, hitting Raxin in the chest and stunning him temporarily.

"I used most of my MP to do that, so it's up to you, guys." Spoony said. He fired another eye laser at Raxin, keeping him stun-locked.

"Okay, it's worth a shot!" Linkara vanished, reconfiguring the right arm into a green-streaked Pollo, though with Linkara's hat and a magic gun mounted in the chest. He fired a series of small bursts of magic at Raxin, leaving a huge hole in the latter's chest; Raxin, shrugging off Spoony's stun lasers, responded with a fireball aimed right at Pollozord.

But it was met by a burst of ice breath, from the blue robot wyvern controlled by Lindsay. The Wyvernzord's breath reduced the fireball to nothing, while small cannons attached to the back of its wings fired blue spikes at Raxin. Joe added to the assault with his black Tankzord (a regular old Abrams-style tank), firing 120-mm shells from its main gun and ball lightning from three turrets on the front of the tank.

Finally, the last of the individual Zords, the Critic's Donkey Kong Jesuszord (a mecha gorrila with a bearded human head), used the venerable Rocket Punch technique to sock Raxin in the jaw from a distance. The combined assault was doing more damage to Raxin than he could regenerate, but he was quickly getting fed up with it.

Raxin shouted in incomprehensible rage, creating an expanding dome of flame that pushed the Zords back. It didn't do much damage to them, but the Rangers were all nearly out of MP.

"Hang on!" Linkara said. "Prospo, send me the Combine Bazooka."

"Got it!" A light door opened up in the cockpit of the Pollozord, and Linkara grabbed the Combine Bazooka that floated out of it. Linkara reconfigured the Pollozord again, changing most of its chest into a scaled-up replica of the Bazooka.

"Okay guys, your turn!" Linkara said. "Grab me, and we'll put everything we've got into one last attack!"

"Right!" The other Zords ran, floated or flew over to the Pollozord; Joe propped it up underneath the Tankzord, while the Wyvernzord, the Burtonzord and the DKJZord grabbed it on the handles. All five Rangers focused their MP into it...

"GO! MASS ERADICATION!" The Rangers all shouted in unison as the Bazooka fired dozens of multicolored beams, easily piercing through Raxin's fire shield and hitting him right in the upper chest. The beams completely vaporized Raxin's head and upper torso, as well as his arms, but he wasn't quite dead yet...

_**"HUUUMANNNSSS!"**_ Raxin focused his fire shield into a single beam, pushing the Mass Eradication beam back. In response, the Bazooka switched to 'shotgun' mode, firing tons of weaker beams at other parts of his body. Raxin roared again as the Bazooka turned his body into swiss cheese; what remained of his body dissolved into fire and light, shooting up into the sky.

"...Damn it." the Critic said as the five Zords were dismissed. "He escaped. We didn't kill him."

"But we did some major damage to him." Linkara said. "That Mass Eradication spell probably has more lasting effects than any of the physical damage we did."

"And the other Demons don't seem too tolerant of failure." Lindsay said. "If Lux doesn't kill Raxin himself, he'll probably at least demote him or something."

"All in all, we did pretty good today." Joe said, while grinning underneath his bandanna. "Good job, guys."

"I claim full credit, of course." Spoony joked, and they all laughed as a light door took them back to the Sanctuary. They were battered and weak, but they'd regained their confidence - even if the Demons were getting stronger from here on out, the Rangers were getting stronger too, and they felt, at this moment, that they could take on Lux himself.

* * *

><p>Sitting within a black void, illuminated only by the light of the Unscarred Moon above them, was Lux, sitting on a massive stone throne. Kneeling before him was Raxin, who had been stripped of his black crown, and had been shrunken down to the size of a house cat as punishment.<p>

"Do you have an explanation for your failure, Raxin?" Lux asked calmly.

_**"they got lucky!"**_ Raxin squeaked. _**"they use stupid human tricks in lieu of true power! they abuse our talent, and once i recover, i will burn their entire world down!"**_

"Enough." Lux said. He raised his hand, creating a smaller crystal collar around the tiny Raxin's neck "I only keep you around for your non-battle uses. Once I have been returned to my full glory, I may or may not dispose of you, depending on my mood. Pray that you get 'lucky' as well."

_**"yes, master light god."**_ Raxin skulked away into the void, using the embers on his back to light the way.

**"It's almost sad seeing him like that."** Munomi remarked. **"Then again, he is kinda cute..."**

**"You have lived among humans for far too long if you consider _that_ 'cute'."** another Demon said. This one was an egg-shaped ball of floating water encased in a shell of clear ice, with four elephant-like fleshy legs beneath, and around twenty tentacles on the middle and on top. Floating within the water was a naked human woman.

"You're one to talk, Ouranous." Lux remarked. "Prepare for your first field mission. You will take care of the next seal."

**"Gladly, Master Light God. However, I am still working on the tech-"**

"Do you disobey my word?"

**"Not at all, Master Light God. I will prepare immediately!"** Ouranous vanished in a flash of light.

**"I do not trust her."** Helkema said. He had fully recovered from unsealing Raxin; his vine hair was once again a vibrant green, and his earthy skin was a healthy brownish-gray. **"I do not question your decisions, Master Light God, but it may be pertinent to keep your gaze upon her."**

"Your words are noted, Helkema." Lux said. "But regardless of her true allegiance, I have more than one way to keep her in line if necessary."

**"Of course. By your leave, Master Light God. I have business on Earth."** Helkema bowed to his leader, and vanished in a flash of light.

**"I think I'll tag along. By your leave, Master Light God."** Munomi quickly bowed and vanished as well.

"Indeed." Lux said, slightly smiling. "Ranger-Humans... they are growing powerful indeed. This will certainly be interesting."

Lux stared at the Unscarred Moon, the source of his power, which hovered in the sky above him. It was a perfect sphere, unmarked by billions of years of asteroid impacts; unfortunately, it only glowed faintly, representing the status of his race. Once its regained its brilliant white aura, outshining even the Sun, he would be able to restore the ones with Talent to their rightful status. Not yet... but in time.


	14. Memories

"So what's your deal?"

The Critic, dressed in red silk pajamas, sat at the dining table of the Sanctuary's kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and enjoying a donut. Sitting opposite to him was Mercury Iris, the Great Wizard of Africa, who had agreed to train them after Zona's departure. The Critic had a flash of deja vu, but he wasn't quite sure why.

"I like to deal in good dreams." Iris said dreamily. Even though she was more aware than she had been when they first met, Iris still had the look of a woman who was only half-aware of what she was doing at any one time. "So many people dream about monsters, or falling, or failing tests, or having sex with animals... I travel along the Noosphere and help them dream better."

"Er..." The Critic wisely decided not to pursue that last topic. "What the heck is this Noosphere? I think Zona mentioned it a couple of times, too."

"It goes by many names. Collective unconscious, limbo, Internet, Metagod, the Akashic Records, and some others." Iris conjured up an ancient-looking clay jar full of a honey-coloured liquid, and sipped it gingerly. "It's a repository of all human knowledge and history. Course, even most Wizards can't access it."

"But we can, somehow. Instead of conjuring up our weapons, we just kind of pluck them out of the Noosphere. I think that's what Zona said."

"That's right. Zona came to me when she was developing the watches, and we both came up with the Weapon Generation spell that gives form to the Noosphere. It's a very powerful, versatile and dangerous spell, and it's one of the reasons she hid you from the other Great Wizards."

"No kidding. So you've been involved in this from the start, huh?"

"Yeah. Zona's old for a human, but she was the youngest of the Great Wizards. The rest of us are over 2000 years old, and Uranus is the oldest at 2800."

"How do you even live that long without getting really fucking bored?"

"How do you think I learned about the Noosphere in the first place?" Iris grinned as she gulped down the last of her drink. "This is a special type of honey beer that was brewed in Egypt circa 2000 BC. No recipies survive to the current day, but I can pluck some out of the Noosphere and enjoy it any time."

"Hmm. Could you do that with anything?" the Critic asked. "Like, could I use magic to recreate one of the ancient Wonders, or the Library of Alexandria or something like that?"

"I suppose so." Iris said. "But the thing is, old memories are fragmented and harder to find than new memories. You could go into the Noosphere and easily bring up the complete series of Lost or an Xbox 360 and two copies of Bayonetta, but if you wanted to fully reconstruct the old Wonders, it'd take a few hundred years if you got lucky."

"But if we did that, it'd be huge!" the Critic said. "Imagine how much we could learn about the past! We could even bring back the dinosaurs and create fucking Jurassic Park!"

"And that's part of the reason Uranus and Neptune have decreed that magic be withheld from mortals." Iris said. "They believe that it would be misused by those who simply crave power, and it would result in the destruction of the world. At least, that's how they justify it."

"I guess. But still, we keep hearing that it's impossible to properly learn magic in a human lifetime, so if people just studied the heck out of one field, you know, treating it like a science, there'd be less of a disparity, right?"

"Maybe." Iris said. "But the existence of magic is already revealed to the world, and I suspect that there'll be some pretty big changes once the war with the Demons is over. If there's even a world left afterwards..."

"Morning." Lindsay walked into the dining room. "Wow, deja vu."

"Good morning, my lovely. Would you like anything to drink?" Iris asked.

"Uh, sure. Just some coffee, I guess."

Iris conjured a gnarled wooden stick with bits of copper wire wrapped around it, and waved that around in the air, creating a steaming-hot cup of black coffee in a white mug decorated with pink hearts.

"So, did you dream about frenching Munomi again?" the Critic asked playfully.

"Okay, first off, it was with Hugh Jackman." Lindsay said. "The only reason I remembered it in the first place is because I was pretty much lucid while doing it."

"Actually, she tried to get into your dreams again last night." Iris said. "One of my avatars intervened and she left without a fight, but I figured I should let you know. Sorry to disappoint."

"What, no, I-"

"Admit it, you just wanted dream sex with Hugh Jackman." the Critic joked. Lindsay lightly punched him in the shoulder, but she couldn't help but smile a bit.

"So, since you seem rather lucid today, there was something I wanted to ask you, Iris." Lindsay said. "What's with the Demons and their attitudes? There's the big 'crush kill destroy' Demons who just want to kill us all, and then there's the humanoid ones like Helkema who are pretty much, well, human. Are they like a different species, or do they get bigger and angrier with age, or what?"

"The opposite, actually." Iris said. "Demons start off as raging, unfocused beasts, and they get smaller and smarter with age. But the smaller ones are deadlier, since they have more powerful magic available to them."

"Yeah, but what about Raxin?" Lindsay asked. "The way the others were talking about him, he's the second-most powerful Demon under Lux's employ, but he has the same kinda attitude as the younger Demons."

"That's because Raxin is one of the younger Demons." Iris said. "If we ignore the time he was sealed for, he's only around 3,000 years old, which is roughly teenaged for the Demons. But even though he's that young, he's far and away more powerful than the other Demon Lords, which is why he's the Moon God's second in command."

"Okay, so he's basically a hormonal teenager. Suddenly, everything makes sense." Lindsay remarked.

"Ha ha, I guess so." Iris laughed a bit. She refilled her clay pot with more of the sweet-smelling honey beer and chugged it down in one gulp. "Ahhh, that's the stuff."

"Hi everyone!" Prospo came in, holding a cookbook underneath one arm and a cup of cherry tea in the other. "Ready for breakfast?"

"Oh, don't worry, Prospo. I can handle this." Iris magicked up a plate of steak and eggs for the Critic, tofu bacon and waffles for Lindsay, and a bowl of Captain Crunch for herself. "What would you like?"

"Oh..." Prospo sat down, looking rather disappointed. "I was going to cook breakfast for everyone."

"It's fine, honey."

Gradually, the other Rangers made their way into the kitchen. Iris brought up a plate of food for each of them, and they all ate together.

"So, Rangers. I'm thinking that today will be another day for training." Iris said as they all finished up. "Normally, I would drill you in the basics for another year or two, but due to the circumstances, we're going to have to go into more advanced skills. Based on your exemplary performances against the Demons, though, I'm confident that you can handle it."

About an hour later, the Rangers and Iris met up in the atrium. Prospo had gone back to his workshop to work on the next watch, though he'd seemed a bit grumpy when he announced that fact.

"Okay guys, I'm gonna give you the straight dope." Iris said. "Wizards are usually trained to be versatile - we all have various strengths and weaknesses, but we all learn a bit of everything. The thing is, since there's so few of us, we generally don't fight together, so we have to learn a bit of everything to make up for it.

"But you guys work as a team, and we have limited time, so we need to min-max the shit outta your magic to survive. So I think, for now at least, we're best off training you in your individual strengths. And since you're a team, you'll be able to cover for each others' weaknesses. How does that sound?"

"Did you seriously just say 'min-max'?" Spoony said.

"Yes, I did. And I'm trying to be serious here, so pay attention." Iris said, sounding more and more like a teacher. "Okay, so I've been keeping an eye on you during your fights, so here's my appraisal of your strengths:

"Doug, your aim's pretty good, you're good at multi-tasking, and you have fairly decent conjuration abilities. To be honest, I would suggest trying out familiars and attack drones that you can control mentally, or relying on long-range weapons.

"Lindsay, you were the main one creating shields during that last fight, and you were using ice and wind to nullify threats. I know it's kinda cliche for the girl to be the shield-user and debuffer, but hard light has a lot of uses, and crippling enemies before they can attack could save your asses in the long run.

"Joe, you've got lightning and you prefer big guns, so I think you're gonna be the DPSer. Focus on single target attacks that do a lot of damage, but don't hesitate to branch out a bit with splash effects.

"Noah, you can think on the fly, and you had that Reflect spell before. I'm thinking you should work on buffing yourself and allies, and focusing on spike damage and getting around defenses.

"Lewis, you've got the biggest mana pool, but you seem to prefer your magic guns, which do low but constant damage. You should go the route of DOT and AoE attacks."

"Seriously, what's with the MMO raider terminology?" Joe asked.

"One of my avatars is a hardcore World of Warcraft player." Iris said. "So what do you think? Does that work for you guys?"

The Rangers murmured in general agreement.

"Cool. Okay, time to practice." Iris had snapped out of her bossy schoolmarm voice and was back to her head-in-the-clouds regular self. "Golems, I need you!"

Iris waved her hands around like some sort of New Age mystic, and a bunch of light doors appeared. Out of them stepped around two dozen humanoid figures, each around twice as tall as a human and made of clay (with iron straps around their biceps, thighs and neck).

"These are training dummies. They're not very smart, but they can adapt to your tactics if you keep using them over and over again. They'll also rebuild themselves if you destroy them, so don't hesitate to go all out."

Each Ranger had five golems to themselves; they split up around the enormous atrium, morphed, and started practicing their designated roles against them. Iris conjured up a beach towel, a pitcher of lemonade and changed into an orange bikini, and lied down near a pond at the edge, drifting off into a state where she was oblivious to the sounds of fighting around her.

Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

Or the workshop. Prospo wiped the sweat off his brow and sighed in relief, as he screwed in the last piece of the next Ranger watch. Stage 1 was complete; it still needed the requisite enchantments, but he could ask Iris for help on the Weapon Generation spell.

"It looks a little different than the last ones."

Prospo jumped off of his stool in surprise, falling on the cold ground below. He got up and dusted himself off, only to realize who startled him in the first place: a glowing image of a Native American woman wearing elaborate dark-blue body paint.

"You!" Prospo sneered. He conjured his staff and pointed it at the specter. "How did you get in here?"

"I made this Sanctuary. Do you think I wouldn't know its ins and outs?" The image of Zona laughed. "Fortunately for you, I cannot physically enter the Sanctuary anymore, so you're safe for the time being."

"Shut up!" Prospo fired a ball of static from his staff, but Zona simply vanished and reappeared in another corner of the workshop.

"I was going to help you with the enchantments on the watch, but if you would prefer Mercury do it, I'll just leave..."

"You... why?" Prospo lowered his staff, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Why did you betray us, Zona?"

"Because I had to, Will. You don't understand now, but Master Light God has a plan for this world, and I believe that it will benefit everyone."

"What about the other Wizards? The Rangers? What about... me?" Prospo yelled.

"I..." Zona was crying as well. "I'm sorry, Will. But I'm, I'm proud of you. I left you because I thought you could stand on your own. You're, you're not, you're not my apprentice anymore, you're..."

"Kanona..." Prospo murmured. He hated her so much, she betrayed them, she betrated him... but he couldn't help it. He walked over to the spectral image of his master, his friend, his love, and they embraced for what seemed like an eternity, an eternity of bliss, where he could remember all of the time they had together...

"Will." Zona whispered in his ear. "Will, I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry."

"No, I understand." Prospo said, letting go of her. "You, you're doing what you think is right. But so am I. I don't know what Lux's plan is, but I know that you told me to look after the Rangers with my life, and... that's what I'm going to do, right or wrong."

"Thank you... Wizard Prospero."

Zona's image flickered and faded away. The watch sat on the table, shining with an inner light; Prospo picked it up and examined it closely, identifying the spells placed upon it. None of them seemed malicious in any way, and in fact, they seemed to be stronger than the same enchantments placed on the current Rangers' watches. Just as well; he'd be giving it to a fresh human with no prior talent, so they'd need all the help they could get in the beginning.

Speaking of which, Prospo still had to find an adequate sixth ranger. He had first though of giving it to Iris or Flamel, or even using it himself, but they lacked the strong connection to the path of technology; they would be able to use it, but not quite as effectively as even an untrained human.

Instead, he had used several divination spells to locate a human with a strong connection to both magic and technology, as well as possibly a personal connection to the Rangers; family, friend, role model, etc. That way, they would be able to work together more effectively. And based on the glowing sphere on the corner of the workbench, the spells had located a few such candidates...

Prospo picked up the glowing orb, and hundreds of names, faces and other details flooded his mind. He filtered them out as best as he could, going through each candidate one by one. The magically-strongest had no personal connection to the Rangers, but the fourth-strongest did... hmm, yes.

With the watch in his pocket, Prospo opened a light door and stepped through it. Even if this candidate was the right one, he would need to test them, and give them basic instruction on the use of the watch. And, if there was time, he could bring them back to the Sanctuary and introduce them to the Rangers. But the ever-present threat of a Demon attack meant that he had no time to waste.


	15. Under The Sea

The Great Council, reduced to five members from the previous seven, once again met in the black void lit only by the crystal ball in front of them. The Unscarred Moon, a source of magical power that generations of Wizards had kept safe, had disappeared from this place when Lux and his Demon Lords stepped upon the Earth.

"First Venus, and now Mercury." Rasa, the blue-clad old man that served as the leader of the Great Wizards, shook his head. "Two defections within one week. I have never seen anything like it."

"Perhaps there is a reason for that." Flamel, a man of ambiguous Caucasian descent dressed in emerald-green robes, said. "The Great Council is obsolete. Mars' failure against one of the Moon God's generals is proof of that."

"You shut your mouth, whelp!" Illayana shouted, getting to her feet and creating a ring of fire around her.

"Calm down." The Aborigine von Parabagos said sternly, quieting the two younger Wizards with only the power of his voice. "You may be right, Jupiter, but I still do not condone Venus' actions. And with her defection, we have no guarantee of her apprentices' alignments. They are a wild card that we cannot put our faith in."

"Are you mad, Neptune?" Flamel said incredulously. "If they had loyalty to the Demons, why wouldn't they have defected with Venus? Do you honestly think that they are killing Demons simply for personal gain?"

"It is not out of the question." Myrindur, the odd man out among the Wizards due to being dressed in elaborate gold armor and jewelry and not simple color-coded robes, said. "They have grown exceptionally powerful in a short time. We know little about the path of technology and how their watches work, but if they continue growing at this rate, they may well become a greater threat than the Demons."

"Perhaps we should take steps to prevent that." Illayana suggested. "They are still young and impressionable. If we take them under our wing, we may yet mould them into proper Wizards."

"It has been some time since I took an apprentice." von Parabagos mused. "And they are clearly talented, especially for humans. If trained properly, they may be immense assets to the Council."

"...You don't get it." Flamel got up and opened a light door. "It's clear to me now. Make that three defections in a week, Rasa."

The green color of Flamel's robe faded away, leaving him dressed in dull gray as he stepped through the light door. Myrindur reached for the sword at his side as he got to his feet, but Rasa stopped him.

"Let him go." Rasa said. "Jupiter and Mercury will come back to us. I have foreseen it."

The remaining Great Wizards sat in the chamber, which felt emptier than ever. Though they had lost three of their number, the four of them were confident that their master plan would work out in the end. No matter how many Wizards they lost, they would not fail.

* * *

><p>The Rangers, already morphed and ready, stood in the main gate of the Sanctuary. Prospo's divination gizmos had picked up yet another Demon, though Prospo was nowhere to be found.<p>

"He probably went to have some fun in Vegas." Iris said. "We all get the urge to just go and have fun once in a while. Did I ever tell you that I'm a classically-trained opera singer? That was a good twenty years."

"Okay, so where's the next Demon?" the Critic asked.

"Oh, sorry, I was just lost in thought. Um, the next Demon is... underwater?" Iris looked puzzled. "Hang on, that's not right. Come on, let's go."

The Rangers and Iris all stepped through the light door together. They ended up on the sandy coast of an island in the middle of nowhere.

"Well, at least it's out in the middle of nowhere." Linkara said, looking out across the ocean. "So it's underwater, huh? How deep?"

"Pretty deep. And in this case, it's not better down where it's wetter. I don't think your suits can handle the pressure." Iris said grimly.

"Why don't we use the Megazord, then?" Lindsay suggested. "We can modify it for underwater use, you know, strengthen the armor and give it better mobility."

"Yeah, unless we hijack a submarine or something, I'm thinking that's the fastest way to get down there." Spoony said.

"Okay, let's do that." Iris stepped through a light door; a few minutes later, the Rangers were surrounded by light shells, which flew up into the air and assembled into the Megazord. The Megazord waded into the water until it was fully submerged.

"So, how do we modify this thing?" the Critic said. "Obviously we need thicker armor, but what else?"

"Ooh, we need turbines on the legs and back!" Joe said enthusiastically. "And spinning screw things on the wrists for forward movement!"

"And torpedoes." Linkara said. "I don't think grenades and lasers will work underwater."

"We should probably add a couple of melee weapons, too. And since we have the entirety of all weapons ever thought up, why not some scaled-up hookshots?" Spoony said. "Those always work underwater for some reason."

The entire Megazord dissolved into a single large light shell. It reformed piece by piece; first, the feet were replaced with submarine-style turbines, and the knee drills with torpedo tubes; the arms got their spinning screws on the wrists, as well as individual clawshot launchers in each finger; the magic missile emitters were replaced with moar torpedos, bigger turbines appeared on the back, and the Megazord itself lost around ten feet of height but got even thicker armor.

"So what are we gonna call this one?" the Critic said. "Megasub? Megaship? Mega...Fau?"

"Meganautilus?" Spoony suggested.

"Megashark?" Linkara said.

"Eh, let's just go with Megazord." Lindsay switched on the Demon-detecting sonar, and the water-converted Megazord moved surprisingly quickly for a giant robot, speeding off into the dark depths.

It didn't take long for the immense crushing pressure to take its toll on the Megazord; even the thicker armor didn't offer much protection past a few thousand feet. They compensated by creating a hard-light shield (that had the additional effect of lighting up the surrounding area) which offered further protection, but burned through their MP.

Fortunately for them, the summoning circle was only a few hundred feet below them, at the very bottom of the sea. As they swam down, a few dozen minor demons with mermaid-like tails and tentacles instead of arms appeared from the summoning circle to attack them.

"Of course they're tentacle monsters." Lindsay sighed. "Well, at least we're not fighting them on foot."

"No kidding." the Critic said. "I don't see why they're even bothering with the foot soldiers this time. We're in the Megazord, we can pretty much swat these guys like flies."

Sure enough, the water screws on the Megazord's wrists cut through the minor demons without resistance, leaving them a fine red mist in the water. The rest of the demons surrounded the Megazord and just kinda slapped it with their tentacles, but they couldn't pierce through the light shield, much less the thicker armor.

Joe charged up Lindsay's light shield with his lightning magic, and the Megazord released a pulse of electricity that completely fried the rest of the minor demons (and any unfortunate sea life in the vicinity). More demons poured out of the summoning circle, but they just repeated the electric pulse attack and took them all out as well.

"You know, we've never really tried destroying the summoning circles." Spoony said. "Why don't we just try using a Mass Eradication spell on it or something?"

"Can we even use the Mass Eradication spell anymore?" the Critic asked. "We pretty much added a layer of armor over the chest, and I don't think it can open."

"That can be fixed." Linkara said. He started to convert the Megazord's right hand into a Mass Eradication cannon, but before the transformation was complete, another being came out of the summoning circle: a circular ball of ice, covered in wriggling tentacles, with a naked woman floating within it.

**"Hello, Rangers."** the Demon said. They instantly recognized her voice...

"Zona!" the Rangers gasped in unison. Spoony pointed the Megazord's left hand at the Demon and fired all five of its clawshots, but the Demon intercepted them with its tentacles and broke the chains.

**"Close, but not quite. I am Ouranous the Flowing, one of the Demon Lords of Master Light God. You may have known me as Venus Zona in my previous life, but I have since discarded that identity and embraced my true heritage as a Demon."**

Ouranous' tentacles expanded to several times their regular length and width, and they darted outward; the Megazord cut through a few of them with its wrist screw, but the rest wrapped around its torso and legs.

**"How about a little bit of robot hentai?"** Ouranous taunted. Her central mass warped into a large ice spike, using her tentacles to propel herself right at the Megazord's crotch. The Megazord raised its knee and intercepted the spike with its drill knees... except that it replaced those with torpedo tubes. Ouranous cut right through the light shield and the thicker armor, but got lodged in the Megazord's leg.

She started freezing the Megazord's circuitry from the inside, destroying most of the left leg in less than a minute. Lindsay retracted the light shield a bit, cutting off the entire left leg at the hip; without the extra protection, the leg was quickly crushed by the pressure.

**"So you've learned how to modify the Megazord! I'm quite impressed."** Ouranous said. **"It's still quite unwieldy for aquatic combat, but at least-"**

Ouranous' gloating was interrupted by a Mass Eradication blast fired from the Megazord's right arm. She protected herself with her own ice shield, but Joe and Lindsay released another electric pulse, overloading Ouranous' shield and forcing her to take the full Mass Eradication blast.

"That's what you get for monologuing." Lindsay said.

**"Not too bad."** Ouranous admitted. She shifted back into her wriggling ice-ball form and swam back toward the summoning circle; Spoony quickly repaired the clawshots and fired them and torpedoes at her, but she fled into the circle. The circle widened even further, and a number of dragon-like heads with long necks emerged. **"Unfortunately for you, I've got backup..."**

"Ooh, a hydra." Spoony said, obviously unimpressed. "Let's get up on its back and kick the shit out of it or something."

The hydra's heads opened wide and blasted the Megazord with spiky ice balls, but it left them vulnerable to swallowing the previously-fired torpedoes. A couple of the heads exploded into pink mist, but they easily regenerated. The full hydra emerged from the circle; it had a total of eight heads, and it had a circular body with two huge fins for arms and four slightly smaller fins for legs.

"Hey guys. Uh, no big deal or anything, but I'm kinda out of MP." Lindsay said. The light shields flickered on and off, but Joe and the Critic donated their remaining MP to Lindsay to keep the shields up; unfortunately, they had little MP left too, so the shields wouldn't hold up much longer regardless.

"Alright, let's end this quickly." The Critic threw the turbines into reverse, propelling the Megazord right into the hydra. The Demon's heads lashed out at the Megazord, weakening its shields with every hit, but Spoony and Linkara fired torpedoes into the Demon's body.

The hydra's heads spat out more spiky ice balls, intercepting the Megazord's torpedoes. Spoony grabbed some of the ice balls with his clawshots and threw them back, leaving huge gashes along the hydra's necks - but they just kept regenerating the damage.

The Megazord shoved its arms into the hydra's mouths and spun its wrist screws, decapitating them. Before it could regenerate, Linkara fired a weaker Eradication blast down its throat and into its body, dealing major internal damage that it had difficulty regenerating. But this pissed off the Demon more than anything; it fired blasts of pure energy at the Megazord, finally dissipating its shields.

The cockpit creaked around the Rangers as the water pressure crushed it. They put what remained of their MP into the Mass Eradication cannon, blasting the hydra Demon with their last breath.

The Mass Eradication spell permanently destroyed two of its heads and did even more damage, but the hydra was still alive. It put its four heads together and charged up one last energy blast.

The Rangers braced for impact.

The hydra fired.

But a light shield appeared around the Megazord, protecting it from the blast. A light door opened in the cockpit, and a clean-shaven bald man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and green khaki shorts stepped out, followed by Iris in an orange bikini.

"Need some help?" the man asked. "Name's Jupiter Flamel... well, just Flamel now, I guess."

"He was one of the Great Wizards." Iris quickly explained. "We'll hold the shields for now. Finish off that overgrown lizard!"

"Uh, we don't have any MP left." the Critic said.

"Well, we could always draw it from the Megazord." Linkara suggested.

"I was going to say the same thing." Spoony said. "I thought I was supposed to be the smart guy?"

Most of the Megazord dissolved into light shells, leaving only the right arm and a part of the torso. The hydra charged up for another energy blast, but Flamel and Iris' shield easily repelled the attack; the Rangers put their collected MP into the Mass Eradication cannon.

"NOW! FIRE!" the Rangers shouted, firing dozens of beams at the hydra. Each beam erased a part of the hydra's body; it tried in vain to regenerate, but the damage was too severe. One last push from the Rangers, and the hydra was finally destroyed.

"I guess that makes us big damn heroes, huh?" Iris said. "Or maybe a deus ex machina. What do you think?"

"I think they owe us one." Flamel chuckled. "Well, come on, let's head back to the Sanctuary. We've got a lot to discuss."

The Rangers, relieved that they were still alive, stepped through the light door. The remains of the Megazord sank into the darkness... but before it could dissolve into light, another light door opened, swallowing it.


	16. Gambit

"Are they complete?"

Lux slouched upon his throne, his crystalline skin glittering in the faint light of the Unscarred Moon. Standing before him was Ouranous, though she had ditched her mostly demonic form from before; she had once again assumed Zona's true form of a native woman with elaborate body paint, though she had strategically-placed patches of ice upon her body and tentacles coming out of her shoulders.

**"Yes, Master Light God."** Ouranous kneeled before her master and presented a red cushion, upon which was three bronze chains.

"Consider your failure against the Ranger-Humans forgotten." Lux said. He got up and walked over to Ouranous, picking up one of the bronze chains in his beefy fingers. Hanging from the end of the chain was a round amulet; carved upon it was a yin-yang-like symbol of the moon, cast in gold and silver. "This symbol... yes, I see."

**"Is it to your liking?"** Ouranous asked.

"Yes, they are well-made." Lux set the chain back down on the cushion. "But I have no need for it at the moment. Helkema! Munomi!"

Two light doors opened to either side of him, and two seemingly regular-looking humans stepped out: a beefy man in a tank top and shorts, and a twelve-year-old girl in a school uniform.

**"Forgive our delay, Master Light God."** the girl said. Dozens of thorny green vines burst out of her skin, wrapping around what remained of her like a cocoon; brownish-gray earth formed around the vines, forming the humanoid form of Helkema of the Earth.

**"Wait-"** Ouranous said, obviously expecting a slightly different transformation.

**"He's just weird like that."** Six wings burst from the muscular man's back, and he slimmed down considerably, gaining both a feminine physique and the head of a falcon. **"He was probably trying to show why he was worshipped as a fertility god, if you get my meaning."**

**"Nothing of the sort."** Helkema said. **"But it is somewhat difficult to acquire sweets in my standard form, so I had to improvise."**

**"See? Totally weird."** Munomi said. **"Er, sorry, Master Light God. You summoned us?"**

"Indeed." Lux said, a hint of a smile on his face. "Ouranous has finally completed her trinkets. I want you two to use them on the next seal."

Helkema and Munomi each took one of the bronze chains from Ouranous.

**"Ah, I see."** Helkema grinned. **"We shall prepare immediately. By your leave."**

Both Demon Lords disappeared through light doors.

**"Shall I go with them?"** Ouranous asked, taking the last of the chains.

"No. I want you to make two more of these trinkets, one for Raxin and one for myself."

**"For Raxin?"** Ouranous wondered aloud, before catching herself mid-sentence. **"Of course. I shall start right away." **She vanished through yet another light door.

Lux sat back down on his throne. He conjured up a round mirror, admiring his visage for a moment in the silvery reflection before it gave way to a birds-eye view of the location of the next seal. Yes, this would be an interesting battle indeed.

* * *

><p>"Yeah baby! I am the Lord of Tekken!"<p>

Spoony threw his controller to the ground as he jumped up from the couch, celebrating his sixth straight win in Tekken 5. Iris just frowned.

"I'd beat you at Super Smash Bros." she complained.

"I'm sure you would, I suck ass at that game." Spoony sat back down. "So, another round?"

"No, we're switching games." Iris snapped her fingers, and the PS3 and its controllers vanished, replaced by a Nintendo 64 with Super Smash Bros. loaded in the top. "Come on, 'Lord of Tekken', show me your moves!"

Spoony picked up the N64 controller. "Bring it!"

The intensity was palpable as the two got into a heated match of Donkey Kong vs. Captain Falcon, but just as Iris was about to smash Spoony into the depths and take out his last stock, Flamel (still dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and green shorts) interrupted them.

"Er, Mercury, are you sure you should be playing games right now?" Flamel asked.

"Silly, you can just call me Iris now. We're not Great Wizards anymore!" Iris said cheerfully. "Besides, this is training! Who knows when we'll need to befeat the Moon God in Super Smash Bros.?"

"I highly doubt that will come to pass..." Flamel muttered. "Well, I understand the importance of downtime, but I still think we should get as much magical training done as possible."

"Aww, but we were training all day yesterday too." Iris whined.

"Actually, yeah, I think training's a good idea." Spoony said as he got up. "Good match and all that, Iris. You won in spirit and stuff."

"Won in spirit. Pff." As Spoony and Flamel exited the game room, Iris un-paused the game and finished off Spoony's character. "More like kicked your sorry ass."

"What's with her?" Spoony asked Flamel as they entered the empty atrium. "I mean, you and that Illayana woman act like proper ancient wizards from what I've seen, but she's a space cadet half the time and a whiny brat otherwise. And Zona was way too flirty to just be our 'teacher', you know?"

"Living for two thousand years or more tends to do something to your brain." Flamel said. "Iris copes by acting cutesy and spending most of her time in the Noosphere. I prefer interacting with the mortal world as much as my duties allow me to. Other Wizards have different ways of coping, but the important thing is that we can't act serious all the time."

"You interact with the mortal world, huh?" Spoony mused. "I'm guessing that means that any given famous historical figure has a 50% chance of being a Wizard in disguise?"

"Indeed." Flamel said. "For example, I was Elvis."

"Bullshit."

"You think so, huh?" Flamel cleared his throat, then proceeded to belt a perfect rendition of "Blue Suede Shoes".

"Not bad." Spoony admitted. "But you could be cheating with magic."

"You need to stop being so skeptical, my friend." Flamel chuckled. "Now then, time to call the rest of the Rangers-"

"Hey!" An already-morphed Linkara stepped through a light door. "We're picking up another Demon attack! Come on Noah, let's go!"

"Yeah, of course." Spoony and Flamel made their way to the main gate of the Sanctuary, Spoony morphing on the way. Iris and the other Rangers were already waiting and ready.

"This one's in the Sahara Desert." Iris said as the main gate opened. "But something's a bit strange. There appears to be two other Demons there, but their energy signatures are different than usual."

"Probably Helkema and Munomi." the Critic said. "We haven't seem them in a while, and we just kicked the asses of the other two."

"Yeah, but why would they be different?" Lindsay wondered. "Hmm, maybe Zona did something to them?"

"Either way, be careful. We'll be on standby with the Megazord if you need it." Flamel said. "Good luck!"

Shortly after, the Rangers emerged in the desert. Fortunately for them, the sun had already set, but there was still some daylight left, so they didn't have to deal with the extremes of the Sahara; unfortunately, it meant that they would have to take care of this Demon quickly if they didn't want to be buffeted by the cold winds.

It didn't take them long to find the fiery-red summoning circle in the sands. Sure enough, waiting for them was Helkema and Munomi, both chanting in the Demon language while doing some sort of dance around the edge of the circle.

**"Ah, right on time."** Helkema said. **"It has been some time since we last met, hasn't it, Rangers?"**

"Yeah, and we kicked your ass last time too!" the Critic boasted. "And we've only gotten stronger since then, so you'd better have some sort of trick up your sleeve if you want to survive this!"

**"They're just getting cockier, aren't they?"** Munomi noted dryly. **"Well, what do you say, Earthlord? Shall we take them down a couple of pegs?"**

**"I was thinking the exact same thing."** Helkema said. He grabbed the handle of the massive sword held to his back and brought it to the ready, while Munomi conjured up a double-ended spear and a shield emblazoned with a rather familiar symbol...

"Wait a sec." Lindsay said, noting the white, silver and gold yin-yang-like crest on the shield. "That shield, it's the same as the ones on our suits."

**"Yes, it is! I'm surprised you didn't notice that last time."** Munomi said. **"It's the crest of the Unscarred Moon, the source of all magic on Earth. It holds significance to both us and the Wizards, which is probably why Ouranous stuck it on-"**

Munomi was interrupted by a bolt of lightning from Joe, though Helkema intercepted it by using his sword as a lightning rod.

"Seriously guys, cut down on the monologues!" Joe said as he charged in with a straight-up chainsaw. The other Rangers followed on his heels, generating weapons mid-run.

The Critic generated a scythe, as well as three floating domes with eye-like polished red lenses in the front. These were the 'attack drones' Iris had suggested he use; this was the first actual battle he was trying them out in, though he figured they'd probably be more effective in a group melee. Even still, he engaged Munomi and forced her to block in front, while the attack drones floated behind and took potshots at her back with thin red lasers.

**"New tactics! I'm impressed!"** Munomi rapidly spun around, creating another localized cyclone that blew the attack drones and the Critic away, but she was interrupted by Lindsay propelling herself high in the air via a hard-light platform, and descending naginata-first right on top of Munomi. The blade of Lindsay's naginata was also made of hard-light; it proved unable to pierce Munomi's mighty shield, but that was the plan all along.

The Critic swiped at Munomi from one side, his attack drones fired from another, and Lindsay flung marble-sized balls of hard-light at her. Though injured, Munomi forced them all away with a supersonic wave, while Helkema grabbed the Critic with cactus-like vines.

Speaking of him, Helkema was having an epic sword/chainsaw fight with Joe, who had the brilliant idea of augmenting his chainsaw with lightning. Each block from Helkema's blade sent a shower of sparks flying and left scorch and tear marks on the sword; Helkema created a pit of quicksand underneath Joe's feet to stop him for the moment, but he was pelted by triple crossbow shots from Spoony and a magic gun beam from Linkara.

Spoony ran over, generated a flaming sword and cut the Critic free from his vines, wisely choosing not to crack a joke at the latter's expense. Munomi descended from the sky with a bird-like shriek and bashed Spoony with her shield, but Lindsay whipped up a barrier between her and Spoony before she could run him through with her spear. Munomi turned around and shrieked again, only to take a magic-gun blast to the back of the head.

**"They're fighting well!"** Helkema said. He walked over to the sand trap and lifted Joe out of it by the neck, but the Critic's attack drones burnt his hand before he could squeeze the life out of him. Joe tried whacking some weeds with his chainsaw, but the fine sand had gotten into his chainsaw and jammed it, so Joe switched to a regular old poleaxe and lodged the blade right in Helkema's shoulder.

"It's two to five! What did you expect?" the Critic shouted back. He dismissed his scythe for another attack drone, which he split evenly between the two Demon Lords; this left him open to a gale-force wind burst from Munomi. Lindsay created another barrier around the two of them, protecting them from the wind, but it had the secondary effect of blowing a huge amount of sand into the air, drastically decreasing visibility.

While Spoony worked on creating a vortex to counter Munomi's sandstorm, Linkara and Joe stood back-to-back in preparation for a sneak attack. Sure enough, a vine wrapped around Joe's ankle, dragging him into the sand; Linkara grabbed his arm and tried to pull him out, but it only resulted in him getting dragged in as well. Before Helkema could choke and/or crush them underneath the sands, the two Rangers combined their power to blast away the sand with a huge explosion while protecting themselves with a weak barrier.

And then, an unearthly roar pierced the chaos. The edge of the red summoning circle shined through the swirling sands, and an enormous, lumbering creature emerged from it. Spoony's vortex cleared the air, and Ranger and Demon alike stared at what could only be described as a sandworm; a huge, snakelike creature covered in diamond-hard tan scales, lacking any major features save an enormous gaping maw filled with rows upon rows of needle teeth on both ends.

"We've got wormsign." Lindsay said. The other Rangers just sighed at the obvious joke.

**"This one's young-"** Helkema said, before being interrupted by another of the Demon's roars. It lunged at the collected group, not even attempting to swallow them whole or anything - it could just as easily crush them underneath its bulk.

**"Yeah, too young!"** Munomi said worryingly. **"What was Master Light God thinking? We can't control this one!"**

**"Sorry, Rangers. Our duel will have to be postponed for the moment. Don't worry, we have faith in you."** Helkema and Munomi disappeared through light doors.

"Motherfuckers!" Spoony swore loudly as the sandworm crashed down on the sand, sending out a huge shockwave that randomly deformed the terrain beneath them. The Rangers were sent flying every which way, though their suits came with feather-fall built in.

"Iris! Flamel! Megazord!" the Critic shouted into his watch. The sandworm reared up and slammed back down, but the Rangers were rescued by the familiar shells of light forming around them. The light shells took their standard positions and formed the Review Megazord, but they immediately realized the glaring flaw in their plan.

"Shit, I can't move!" the Critic said. Not only had the Megazord's feet sunken into the sand, but the sandworm had kicked up even more sand with its repeated body-slams, most of which got into the Megazord's electronics and jammed them.

"Yeah, sand and electronic stuff doesn't mix." Spoony said. "Even still, we should still be able to use our weapons, right?"

"Right, let's do it!" Joe shouted, firing all of the magic missile emitters at once. Unfortunately, the small projectiles simply bounced off the sandworm's hide and detonated in midair.

With some difficulty, the Megazord's arms creaked upwards. Spoony and Linkara fired grenades and magic gun blasts into the sandworm, but again, it shielded itself with its hide; the blasts seemed to damage a few of its scales, but it was only successful in exposing the identical layer of scales underneath.

"We could always try firing into its mouth." Lindsay said.

"Yeah, let's try politely asking it to open wide." the Critic said sarcastically. The sandworm slithered at them like a snake; its front mouth chewed up the Megazord's left leg in seconds, while it swung its back end around and took out the right leg, sending it flying into the distance.

"Uh, okay. Plan B: Let's try switching to the individual Zords." the Critic said. The Megazord's torso and arms dissolved into light shells, forming the Pollozord, the Burtonzord and the DKJzord; unfortunately, since Joe and Lindsay's shells had been destroyed or removed, they couldn't form their own Zords, and thus were left helpless on the sand.

"Hey, guys!" Lindsay yelled into her watch. "A little help here?"

"It'll take some time for us to prep another Megazord!" Iris shouted back. "Just hang on for a few minutes!"

"Easier said than done!" Joe said. "Can't you at least send us the Combine Bazooka or something?"

The other three Zords were faring better, but they were still far outclassed. The Pollozord fired a Mass Eradication blast out of its chest cannon, but it failed to do more than remove a few of the sandworm's scales.

"Wait, I know!" the Critic said. The DKJzord ran after the sandworm's back end; it stopped and abruptly started moving in the opposite direction. The DKJzord grabbed the edges of the sandworm's mouth, barely avoiding the Demon's teeth. "Okay, Lewis! Fire another one of those blasts right through me!"

"What, are you crazy?" Linkara said.

"Don't worry, my cockpit's in the head! I can take a body shot no problem! Just, uh, hurry it up!" The DKJzord's elbow joints creaked and sparked as the the sandworm tried to close its gaping maw around him.

The Burtonzord hovered over to the sandworm's other side and fired several RPGs into its front mouth, stunning it for the brief moment that Linkara needed. The Pollozord's Mass Eradication blast fired at exactly the same time as the Combine Bazooka blast from Joe and Lindsay, and the two combined attacks pierced the DKJzord's chest, ripped through the sandworm's intestines and out the other end, catching the Burtonzord's arm and thoroughly disintegrating it.

The sandworm gave out one last defeated roar as it slumped to the ground. The Burtonzord and the remains of the DKJzord dissolved as the Critic and Spoony took their places behind the Pollozord; Linkara charged up another Mass Eradication to finish the Demon off, but its corpse exploded into red energy before he could fire.

**"Not too shabby, Rangers!"** the disembodied voice of Helkema said. **"We figured you'd fall for the trap!"**

**"Not that you could tell it was a trap in the first place."** Munomi said. The two Demon Lords appeared before the Pollozord. **"Actually, maybe we should be calling it a gambit instead. Or a devious plan. What do you think?"**

Linkara fired his Mass Eradication blast at them, but Munomi created a red-tinted rune-inscribed shield, easily absorbing the attack. The Pollozord hovered over and attempted to crush the two, but Helkema's sword sliced clean through the entire Zord.

**"The thing is, we knew that we couldn't control that wild one."** Helkema explained. **"We simply unleashed it so that we could put its Talent to better use. And why would we take care of it ourselves if we could bait you into doing it?"**

The Rangers recreated their melee weapons and charged at the two Demons, but Munomi created another shield around them.

**"'What's the better use' you ask? Well, a mutual friend of ours just completed these for us..."** Munomi held up a bronze chain, which had a pocketwatch sporting the same Unscarred Moon design dangling from it. **"They require quite a bit of Talent to activate, though. And rather than using our own or Master Light God's power..."**

"Wait a minute. Are those...?" the Critic said.

**"Indeed they are."** Helkema said, a sadistic grin plastered over his face. **"They're what you would call 'morphers'."**


	17. Majin Sentai Lunaranger

**"By the power of the Light God!"**

The Rangers desperately attempted to break through the red barrier before them, as Helkema and Munomi held their watches to the sky and shouted the above phrase. The sky seemed to go dark as two beams of pale white light shot down from above, surrounding the two Demon Lords in an unholy radiance.

"Clear!" Joe and Lindsay fired another round from the Combine Bazooka, but it failed to even weaken the barrier. They sustained it for as long as they could, while Linkara added magic gun blasts, Spoony rapid-fired crossbow bolts and the Critic slashed away with his scythe, all trying in vain to stop the transformation.

But it was all for naught.

Both the white light and the red barrier faded, revealing the two Demon Lords' morphed forms. Unlike the Rangers themselves, they only gained a few cosmetic details: Helkema gained longer vine hair, a green sash over his ebony armor, arm guards and greaves (gold on the left and silver on the right for both), while Munomi gained matching arm guards and greaves, a pink tunic over her white dress and metal razor-like edges over the tips of her wings. Both also gained the symbol of the Unscarred Moon on their chests, identical to the ones the Rangers were sporting.

**"What do you think?"** Helkema said, admiring his new accessories. **"Personally, I think they look a bit gaudy, but they're certainly less flashy than the Rangers' costumes."**

**"I like it, actually."** Munomi said. **"What do you guys think? Too tacky?"**

The Rangers continued their assault, but Munomi raised another red barrier.

**"Hold on, there's something we're supposed to say. What was it, oh..."**

**"I believe it was 'In the name of the Unscarred Moon, we shall punish you!'"** Helkema said distastefully. **"Ouranous has a strange sense of humor, if it can even be called that."**

**"Yeah, right. Okay, let's test these new powers out."**

Munomi used her newfound Weapon Generation powers to generate hundreds of spears, which she kept suspended in midair. The red barrier finally dropped, only for her to rain spears upon the Rangers; Lindsay created her own hard-light barrier to protect them, though that combined with her repeated uses of the Combine Bazooka drained most of her MP.

The Critic, once again wielding a scythe and with attack drones following him, charged at Munomi; she focused her spear rain on him, but his attack drones switched to weak barriers that gave him a bit of protection. But before he could even get in range, Munomi flapped her wings, pelting him with hundreds of razor-sharp feathers. The suit prevented major injury, but he was still pretty cut up.

Linkara jumped in and thrust forward with a Spiral Saber, but Munomi blocked with instantly-generated shields and retaliated with spear rain. He tried to get through by blasting the shields with the magic gun in his offhand, helped by the Critic's attack drones firing their lasers, but Munomi threw them both back with a gust of wind.

On the other side, Joe was having another lightning-chainsaw/sword duel with Helkema, but the latter's strength had been exponentially increased by the morph. A lucky shot by Spoony surprised him for a moment, which Joe used to sink the chainsaw deep into Helkema's gut - but the blade shattered on impact with his black armor. Helkema smacked Joe's helmet with the flat of his blade, breaking it into several pieces and knocking him unconscious.

Spoony switched his crossbow for a flamethrower, making sure to aim the stream of flame right in Helkema's face. But the empowered Earth Demon walked right through the flames, grinning all the way. His vine hair wasn't even singed. In desperation, Spoony generated a small gas can and chucked it in Helkema's face; the resulting explosion knocked Spoony to the ground, but failed to faze its intended target.

Rather than finish Spoony off, Helkema power-walked over to Munomi, shrugging off another one of her supersonic screams. Said scream sent the Critic and Linkara flying again, injuring them even further. Even still, they both got up again.

The Critic set his attack drones to self-destruct and flung them at Munomi, but Helkema intercepted and tanked them, not even bothering to raise a barrier. Linkara conjured up some sort of magic chaingun and unloaded the last of his MP into it, actually doing some slight damage to Helkema - but he waved his hand, easily regenerating the slightly-cracked armor on his chest.

**"It's two on five. What did you expect?"** Helkema said, picking up the Critic by his collar. **"You were weakened by our short duel and the fight with the wild one, but I still expected you to fight a little bit harder. I suppose it can't be helped."**

The Critic generated a grenade in his hand and shoved it in Helkema's face. But he simply grinned, pried the grenade out of his hand and chucked it to the side, where it exploded uselessly.

**"No no, I don't plan on killing you."** The Critic collapsed on the ground as Helkema let him go. **"I can't say the same for the Windlord, though."**

**"Why would I want to kill them? They're such good playmates!"** Munomi said. **"Come on, let's heal them so we can keep fighting!"**

**"No, I believe our work is done he-"** A hard-light bubble formed around Helkema's head. They turned around to see Lindsay stumbling toward them, holding her hands out in the classic Force Choke pose.

"Not yet, you bastard." Lindsay pulled her arms back, and Helkema's head was cleanly severed from his body.

**"Oh, now why'd you do that?"** Munomi whined. **"You should know better than that."**

Helkema's severed head vanished into thin air, and a new one replaced the one Lindsay removed. He cracked his neck a couple of times to break it in, then turned towarc Lindsay with a wicked grin on his face.

**"It takes more than that to kill us, dear. But you get an E for effort."** A vine sprouted out of the sand near Lindsay's foot, wrapping around her ankle and draining the last of her MP. She stayed in her transformed state, but she was too weak to even move.

Helkema opened a light door and prepared to step through it, but Munomi stopped him. **"Wait a minute. It's usually around now that someone else shows up to bail the Rangers out. It'd be rude to leave them hanging, right?"**

**"We have no reason to continue fighting."** He brushed past Munomi, but he was once again interrupted as Iris, dressed in full plate, jumped through the same light door and kicked him right in the face.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Iris shouted. She blasted Helkema with an orange-colored spell that forced him to his knees, while Flamel emerged from another light door and impaled him with a glowing green spear.

**"See? I was right!"** Munomi said. She flung more razor feathers at the Wizards, but Iris telekinetically used Helkema as a living shield while Flamel immolated them with green flames.

Helkema broke free from Iris' control and bitchslapped her, breaking most of her lower jaw and knocking her out cold. Flamel conjured a huge-ass sword and brought it down on his head, but he grabbed the blade with his bare hand and wrenched it from Flamel's grip.

**"Thank you for the gift, Wizard. I've been meaning to get myself a new weapon."**

Flamel threw more green fire in Helkema's face, but he brushed it off. More vines sprouted from his arm, wrapping around Flamel and completely immobilizing him; unlike the Rangers, he wasn't protected from the thorns, which cut him up pretty badly on their own.

**"Any last words, Wizard?"** Helkema asked as the vines drew the injured Wizard toward him.

**"Hey, hang on! I thought you said you weren't going to kill any of them?"** Munomi said.

**"I will make an exception for this one."** The vines retracted back into his arm as he brought down his sword on Flamel, cleanly cleaving the man right down the middle. Helkema then fired a beam of light from his palm, reducing Flamel's corpse to cinders.

**"One down."** Munomi said solemnly. **"But still, that was unnecessary."**

**"It would have to be done sooner or later."** Helkema looked at Iris, then at the fallen Rangers. **"The rest of you get to live. But remember that you only continue to exist thanks to the mercy of the Moon God."**

"Not so fast!"

More light doors appeared underneath the Rangers and Iris, whisking them back away to the Sanctuary. Prospo himself emerged from one of them, pointing his staff at the two Demons.

**"You know what? I'm tired of this."** Helkema sighed. **"Take care of him, Munomi."**

**"Got it!"** Munomi chirped as Helkema finally walked through his own door. **"So, you're Prospo, huh? Ouranous really seems to like you."**

"I'm not your opponent this time." Prospo said. "We both know that I wouldn't stand a chance against the feared Windlord, Munomi of Six Wings. But I've found someone willing to fight in my stead."

Another light door opened behind Prospo, and out stepped a new challenger: an armored figure, with a vaguely insect-like mask with glittering red compound eyes and small antennae, a black chestplate, boots and gauntlets, all with single gold stripes as highlights, black leather chaps over very dark blue spandex pants, and a long pink scarf around the neck. But the armor didn't hide the fact that there was a woman underneath this costume.

**"Eee!"** Munomi almost squeed at the prospect of a new opponent. **"Oh, but you're not a Ranger, are you? You're different."**

"I am the Black Rider!" the armored figure announced. "I challenge you, Munomi of Six Wings!"

**"Bring it!"**

Munomi generated some more spear rain, but the Black Rider responded with a powerful blue barrier that outright reflected the spears back at her. Munomi's shields proved inadequate against her own weapons, and she ended up taking a few spears in the gut, though she easily regenerated from that.

"Good luck!" Prospo said as he stepped through his light door, not wanting to get caught up in the fight. The Black Rider just nodded as her own light door vanished as well.

"Let's see how you like this! POWER CHARGE!"

The Black Rider's fists and feet glowed with an awesome red-colored power as she ran forward. Munomi tried blasting her back with sound waves and winds, but the Black Rider literally punched right through them, landing several crushing hits on the Demon.

**"Ooh, you're strong. I like that!"** Munomi generated a longsword and swung it at the Rider, but she blocked it with her gauntlets.

"You'll need to do better than that! SPEED CHARGE!" The Rider gained a green aura around her boots, allowing her to run circles around Munomi, landing punch after punch, though they did comparatively little damage. Munomi, more annoyed than anything, created a small whirlwind that threw the Rider some distance away.

**"I see through your tricks, Ranger. Er, Rider. Whatever you are."** Munomi hovered over to the Rider, who was still lying on her back. **"You're calling your attacks out specifically to distract me, aren't you? Not bad, but I won't fall for it a third time."**

"Either that, or it's reverse-reverse psychology, and I am increasing my strength or speed by calling out my attack names." the Rider pointed out.

**"I guess we'll see!"** Munomi generated a few spears. **"Well, do you have some sort of 'Defense Charge' that will protect you?"**

"Actually, I do. DEFENSE CHARGE!" The Rider recreated her blue barrier from before, reflecting the spears back at Munomi. She then followed up with a "RIDER PUNCH!", a spinning uppercut that outright shattered Munomi's beak.

_**"Bad move, girlie."**_ Munomi growled. _**"You do NOT mess with my beak."**_

"I just did! What are you gonna do about it?" the Rider taunted.

**"This!"**

"POWER CHARGE! RIDER KICK!"

Munomi created hundreds of invisible wind blades, each of which could cut through solid steel, and threw them all forward. But they didn't even slow down the Rider's blazing-red Rider Kick, which ripped right through Munomi's abdomen and set most of her body ablaze.

_**"ARGH! YOU, YOU-!"**_ Munomi slipped through a light door, cursing all the way through. The Rider dusted her hands off, satisfied at a job well done.

"That was incredible, Kaylyn!" Prospo cheered as he stepped through a light door. "And she was using a morpher, too!"

"Yeah, but she was weakened by the fight with the other Rangers." Kaylyn, otherwise known as Marzgurl, said. "And I really got lucky. If she had used that last attack anytime before I used my Rider Kick, I'd-"

"Even still, for your first fight, you passed with flying colors. Now come on, let's head back to the Sanctuary."

* * *

><p>"Of all the people in the world, he picked you?"<p>

The Rangers, Iris, Prospo and their newest addition all sat around the main table. They had mostly recovered from their injuries, thanks to Iris' knowledge of healing magic, though it would take a bit longer for the emotional scars to heal.

"Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you guys." Marzgurl admitted. "But really, when a wizard knocks on your door and asks you if you want to save the Earth, can you really say no?"

"I dunno, I was kinda considering it." Lindsay said. "It's kinda late for us to get out of the game now, though."

"Yeah, no kidding." the Critic said. "But since I'm the leader and all that, I want to officially welcome you to the Review Rangers, Kaylyn."

"Thanks, I'll do my best." Marzgurl said. "So since when did they get morphers too?"

"Just today." Linkara said. "And honestly, that worries me. I mean, we know Zona's working for them, so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but still..."

"Please! The only reason we even had trouble in the first place was because of that sandworm." Joe said. "If we were at full strength, we would've wiped the floor with them!"

"Yeah, I agree." Spoony said. "But I see where Lewis is going with this. If those two have morphers, that probably means Raxin and Lux have them too. And what if they start mass-producing them and handing them out to the younger Demons, like that sandworm? Yeah, they're weaker than the Demon Lords, but they're also mindlessly destructive."

"Then we'll just have to keep getting stronger." the Critic said. "We already have a new member, but we'll need to keep training our magic to handle these threats. I think we might need a new Megazord, too. Do you think you could whip up something, Prospo?"

"I'll see what I can do." Prospo said. "Though I'd appreciate your guys' input as well."

"Designing a new Megazord? I'm all over that." Linkara said. "That's like a dream come true. A lame one, yeah, but still, giant stompy death robots."

"Yeah, good job and whatever, guys." Iris said. "Uh, you're dismissed. Go and rest up, so we can train tomorrow and stuff."

The now-six Rangers all filed out of the room, leaving Iris and Prospo alone.

"They killed him, Prospo." Iris said. "Flamel. He was my master, and those Demons, they just killed him without a second thought."

"I... I know." Prospo bowed his head.

"The last time a Wizard was killed was in 123 AD." Iris said frankly. "It's been over two thousand years. Yeah, some have given up, but... he was killed."

"It's almost hard to believe."

"Yeah." Iris stood up suddenly; she was trying to hide it, but Prospo could tell that she was crying. "Good night, Prospo. Get some rest, okay?"

"I will. Good night... Iris."

Iris gave him a weak smile as she left for her personal chambers. Prospo sat alone in the dark room. Things were changing, that was for sure. But would it be for the better, or for the worse?

That would ultimately be up to the Rangers to decide.


	18. Throwing Down the Gauntlet

The Rangers, Iris and Prospo all stood once again in the main gate of the Sanctuary. Iris raised her arm, and the iron gates opened to reveal a light door - but they weren't preparing for a battle. They were all dressed in formal black clothing, and this gate would lead to a special pocket dimension where they could mourn the passing of Jupiter Flamel.

"This will be a bit different than the funerals you're used to." Prospo explained as they stepped through the light door. "Just follow our lead, and you'll be fine."

They reappeared in a grassy meadow, in between two massive stone megaliths with a third resting on top. The stone walls were carved with thousands of symbols in all sorts of different languages, from standard English names to languages that had long since passed into the mists of time. The sky was the orange-pink color of dusk, with half of the sun hovering just over the horizon.

A series of stone steps, each probably older than the entirety of human civilization, led up a steep slope. At the top of the stairs, the Rangers looked into a large circular valley, with a series of megaliths in the middle arranged into a number of concentric circles.

"Hold on, is this Stonehenge or something?" the Critic wondered.

"Close." Iris said. "The actual site predates what you know as Stonehenge, though it's long since been torn down. This is a recreation of it in a pocket dimension, which we use as our burial grounds. The best translation to English would be 'End Of The Road', though it has a few different meanings in the original language."

"What original language is that?" Marzgurl asked.

"Er... does it even have a name?" Prospo pondered. "It's older than Proto-Indo-European, if that means anything to you guys."

Around a hundred other Wizards, all dressed in variations of the same basic black cloak, were milling around the edge of the End of the Road. The Rangers descended into the valley, feeling the eyes of the collected Wizards upon them - after all, the eight of them had been pretty much ostracized from the rest of the Wizard community, though Iris assured them that they wouldn't be stopped from paying their respects.

"Hello, Iris."

A wizened old man with a braided white beard, dressed in a voluminous blue cloak, appeared before them out of thin air as they stepped onto a landing roughly halfway between the top and bottom of the valley. His body quivered as he hung on to a simple wooden walking stick, though he had the presence and aura of a man much younger.

"Your Wizardness!" Prospo bowed to the old Wizard, though he had foregone a hat this time.

"Rasa." Iris did not bow to the old man. "Have you come to turn us away from mourning Flamel?"

"No, not yet. However, consider this a warning - if you take but a step out of line, I will banish you from this place." Rasa's voice was deep and commanding. "That goes for you humans as well. Follow your masters well, or we will show you what true magic looks like."

Rasa vanished again, letting the Rangers continue onward.

"Gee, a haughty holier-than-thou wizard. It's like I've never seen one of those before." Spoony said.

"Rasa, he's the oldest one, right?" Linkara asked.

"Correct. He's the unofficial head of the Great Council, even though we were all supposed to be equals." Iris said with a hint of bitterness. "But he's more bark than bite. I doubt his old bones even have the magic left to banish us."

"Uh, I don't know if it's safe to be insulting him." Prospo said nervously. "He can probably hear us."

As they stepped onto the gravel path at the bottom of the stairs, they noticed three other Wizards sticking out like a sore thumb: one was Mars Illayana, the woman they'd seen fighting Helkema and Munomi a few weeks back, though she looked more pale and sickly than before; another was a dark-skinned man who stood at least a head taller than everyone else, outfitted in glittering golden armor and jewels, and the last was another older Aborigine Wizard dressed in a purple tabard decorated with the symbol of the Unscarred Moon.

"Saturn Myrindur and Neptune von Parabagos, respectively." Prospo whispered to the Rangers. "The last two Great Wizards."

"So these are the 'Rangers'." von Parabagos mused as he walked over to the group. "Yes, they do have a certain quality to them. Tell me, Rangers, do you wish to dance?"

The Rangers all remained still, though they were all confused at his request.

"So you've trained them to resist Compulsion, Iris. Good for you." he said. "Though not against mental invasion. I could say the same about your name, Noah Antwiler."

"Huh, what?" Spoony said. "No way, Neptune von Parabagos is a pretty awesome name for a Wizard."

"'Either that, or it is extremely silly.' I would watch not only your mouth while you are within our presence, human." von Parabagos, evidently losing interest in them, wandered off as Rasa appeared before the entire group of Wizards.

"Greetings, my brothers and sisters, and may magic guide your way." Rasa said, his voice magically amplified. "We have all been summoned here to mourn the passing of our dear brother, Jupiter Flamel. It is with a heavy heart that I preside over this ceremony, as he is the first of us to be a casualty of war."

"Hang on, what about that Mars woman's apprentice, Wing or whatever?" Lindsay whispered to Prospo. He just shushed her as Rasa continued speaking about the movement of the planets and the threat of the Demons and such.

After a good half an hour of speaking, Rasa finally got on with the ceremony proper. The Wizards lined up single-file, with Rasa and the other remaining Great Wizards at the front, and they all marched through the concentric stone circles while chanting a funeral dirge in an unknown language. Even the Rangers sang along, despite not knowing the language or even the meaning of the words; they were just compelled to sing, and words sprung from their mouths as they did.

The Wizard conga line winded through the proto-Stonehenge, and their singing quieted down to a low hum as they filed into the center. At the heart of the complex was an altar made of gleaming white rocks surrounded by firewood and flowers, and a wooden effigy with an emerald-green hood covering its face sitting on top.

"And so, we call to the soul of our brother, so that he may bless us with the words of the Unscarred Moon." Rasa said, his voice returned to normal volume. "Scion of Jupiter, we summon you."

The crowd chanted 'Scion of Jupiter' over and over, again compelled (though not entirely against their will). They continued chanting for a good five minutes, during which Illayana removed the hood from the effigy and set the firewood alight with what remained of her magic.

"Come to us, brother Flamel!" Myrindur shouted. The crowd fell silent as a ghostly image of Flamel, dressed in green robes and bound by crystalline white chains, appeared over the burning effigy.

"Fools!" Flamel said. "My soul... my soul is bound to the Moon God! You have invited him into our most sacred place!"

Sure enough, the roaring flames were instantly put out by a chill wind as a light door opened before them. The four Demon Lords - Helkema of the Earth, Munomi of Six Wings, Ouranous the Flowing (in her ice-clad human form) and Raxin the Glorious (still the size of a house cat) - stepped out of the door, followed by Lux the Moon God himself.

The collected Wizards all prepared and fired spells of all shapes and sizes at the Demons. But Lux stopped them all with a wave of his hand, creating a null-magic zone around the entire complex. The dusky sky instantly turned black as coal; only the dim glow of the Unscarred Moon, reflected off of Lux's body, lit up the center of the End of the Road.

"I am honoured that you would invite me to the funeral of one of your own." Lux said snidely. "Had you summoned him properly without my interference, he would have told you to 'stop sitting on your hindquarters and support the Ranger-Humans'."

Illayana ran at the Demons while yelling in incomprehensible rage, but Lux silenced her by teleporting her back to her own Sanctuary. He glanced around the rest of the inner sanctum, taking note of the rest of the Wizards, all of whom were paralyzed with fear - except for the Rangers, who stepped forward and tried to morph.

"Those will not work here." Lux said. "Though, once again, I am impressed by your bravery. You fight a war that you have no stake in, to save those who consider you less than pawns."

"No, we-" Rasa interjected, but Lux temporarily stripped him of his voice by uttering a single, guttural syllable.

"Do not lie to me, Uranus Rasa. I can see through your flimsy facade." Lux walked over to the old Wizard, looking him right in the eye. "Ah, but you have a plan of your own to stop us, do you not? Your counterspell would kill over half of the life upon this planet - not just humans, but everything, from the lowest bacteria to the largest animals - just to save your own petty hide. Have you told the rest of your brethren about this?"

Rasa turned to the rest of the Wizards, pleading wordlessly with them, but they reacted with an equal combination of horror and disgust. Lux simply laughed at the pathetic old man who stood before him.

"Even a spell of that magnitude would not stop us. The only other force equal to our own Talent is that of the six Ranger-Humans." Lux and the rest of the Demon Lords all turned toward the Rangers, who still held their ground. "I do not wish to spill further blood, either of my own children or of the Humans and Wizards upon this world. That is why I challenge you, Ranger-Humans, to a duel. The six of you against me. If you win, myself and my generals will depart this world and never return - but if I win, I will continue unsealing my children, and I will stop holding back. Do you agree?"

The Critic looked at the other five Rangers, but he could tell exactly how they were feeling from the determined looks in their eyes.

"We'll accept." the Critic said.

"Excellent." Lux conjured a pale white crystal in front of the Critic. "You have three days to prepare. I look forward to seeing you demonstrate your full power."

The five Demons vanished, and the sky returned to normal.

* * *

><p>"So yeah, what the hell is with not mentioning Illayana's apprentice?"<p>

The Rangers were all in the Sanctuary's main hangar, looking over the disassembled Review Megazord. It just wasn't up to par with the threats they were facing anymore; Prospo had dismantled most of it, and they were going to rebuild it, harder better faster stronger and all that. That was their project today. They would cram in some more magical training tomorrow, and rest the day after that.

"It's, it's hard to explain." Iris said to Lindsay. "The Wizards have a certain mindset... since we're so long-lived, we often don't treat humans with the respect they deserve. Wing was a rather new apprentice, and he hadn't yet been given immortality magic, so..."

"No, I understand." Lindsay said. "I definitely don't agree with it, but I guess I understand. That's probably why none of the other Wizards have lifted a finger to help us, huh? They're just so apathetic that they're underestimating the Demons."

"Something like that, yeah." Iris said. "Prospo and I genuinely respect you, though, I promise you that."

"I kinda figured. Hey, can't we put in some sort of force field generators or something, just so I don't have to keep creating barriers for this thing?"

"I'll see what I can do." Prospo made a note of that on a sheet of paper.

"I guess I need a section too, right?" Marzgurl said. "Why don't we add something like a Jet Scrander on the back of it?"

"Technically, you should probably get your own Megazord that combines with this one." Linkara pointed out. "Actually, why don't we just do that? Just build a bunch of smaller Zords that mechanically combine into a bigger Megazord?"

"Considering what our regular Zords look like, I don't think they'd combine very well." Joe said. "And the point of having one Megazord is that our combined power is greater than the sum of its parts or whatever, right?"

"Not to mention that actual giant robots combining into a bigger robot doesn't actually work in real life." the Critic said. "We're only able to do it because we're basically flipping off the laws of physics while saying 'A Wizard Did It'."

"That's quite an apt metaphor." Spoony commented. "But at the same time, I see what Lewis is saying. Sure, we're all combined into one robot and a lot more powerful than on our own, but we'd also get to attack six times instead of only once."

"Though those six attacks would be a lot weaker than one from the Megazord." Marzgurl said. "I think we should redesign the Megazord so that we can split up if we need to, but only as a last-ditch sorta thing."

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too." Joe said. "That way, we all get a wide range of attacks without being small, weak targets and whatever."

"Okay, I'll go with that." Prospo tore up his sketch of the Megazord and started drawing a new one; the various pieces of the disassembled Megazord reconfigured themselves and came together in midair, as if by magic. "Any other requests for weapons?"

"How about a huge-ass Tesla coil that shoots lightning?" Joe suggested.

"Or a Power Sword?"

"More dakka!"

"I kinda liked having those clawshots."

"Oh! Or an anti-magic field generator!"

While the Rangers all crowded around Prospo and pitched their ideas about the Megazord to him, Iris excused herself. She opened a light door to the main gate, where a certain person was waiting for her...


	19. Moon God

It was time.

The atmosphere in the main gate wasn't so much tense as incredibly anxious. They'd spent the last three days dreading this battle; regardless of the outcome, it would be a relief to just get it over with. The Critic held up Lux's white crystal to the iron gates, which opened to reveal a strange-looking light door.

"So, you guys fought Lux before, right? Got any tips for us?" Lindsay asked.

Iris shook her head. "It wasn't so much a fight as 'we threw every curse we knew at him before he killed us'. We have to assume that at least some of those curses are still intact, but don't underestimate him for an instant."

"Not to mention that he probably has a morpher." Spoony said. "And he might start fighting dirty if he starts to lose."

"Well, we've got the new Megazord if all else fails." Linkara said.

"And we're a lot more powerful than when we first became Rangers." Joe said proudly. "We've lost a few battles here and there, but now that there's six of us, we won't go down easy."

"The entire world's counting on us." Marzgurl said.

"Okay guys, let's go." The Critic calmly walked through the light door, and the other Rangers followed him. The gate closed after them with a heavy thud, metaphorically and literally locking them out.

"...What do you think?" Prospo said. "Do you think they stand a chance?"

"I hope so."

The Rangers materialized on the surface of the Moon. They looked out at the Earth rising above them, speechless at the incredible beauty. It really put everything into perspective: the little blue, green and white sphere before them was the only home they'd ever known, and even if they were screwing it up, they were still fighting for everything upon it.

"It truly is a beautiful sight."

The Rangers turned around to see Lux and the Demon Lords standing behind them. The Demon Lords were already morphed - Raxin was a bit bigger (around the size of a small dog) with blue flames across his back and a bronze collar around his neck, and Ouranous had a bunch more tentacles, gold and silver bands around her central ice-ball body and the Unscarred Moon symbol on her human face. Lux was wearing the same black pants as always, and he did not appear to be morphed.

"Our home planet was ravaged by thousands of years of war." Lux said. His voice was weary and nostalgic, and it somehow reached the Rangers through the void of space. "But it became clear to us that we could not win the war. We sacrificed much of our Talent to divine for, and travel to, your world."

"So you guys are aliens?" the Critic asked.

**"Only technically."** Helkema said. **"Master Light God, Munomi, Ouranous and myself are the only survivors from our world. The rest of the ones with Talent were born on Earth."**

"But it was not long before we came into conflict with your ancestors." Lux said. "By your reckoning, we arrived on Earth 8,000 years ago. In the beginning, they worshipped us as their gods, but they soon became envious of our Talent."

**"They slaughtered some of our younger ones and stole their souls, unlocking their own Talent."** Munomi said. **"They were the ancestors of the Wizards, and they steadily grew more and more powerful until they were a match for ourselves."**

**"But without the Eradication spell, they couldn't permanently defeat the Demons."** Ouranous said. **"The Demons' souls they'd absorbed took over their bodies and minds, sometimes quite horrifically."**

"So they sealed the rest of us away, though both Helkema and Munomi escaped by disguising themselves." Lux said. "The other humans killed themselves rather than succumb, but they reincarnated as something that was not quite human nor Talented - they were the first true Wizards."

"Cool story bro." Spoony said. "Yeah, you guys have a sob story and whatever, but you still plan on unsealing the rest of your 'children' and letting them run wild on Earth."

"That is a result of the Wizards' actions." Lux said. "Rather than attempt to reason with me, the Wizards cursed me and sealed away the bulk of my power. I could have unsealed them all at once and brought them to my Domain at the height of my power, but thanks to the Wizards, I am only able to unseal one at a time."

"And you really think that they would just wait patiently while you looked for another world?" Linkara said. "Pretty much every Demon we've seen so far, except for you guys, just wanted to destroy everything on Earth. If you'd unsealed them all at once, they would've disobeyed you and razed the world regardless."

"I suppose so." Lux said. "And that is why I have challenged you to a duel. I am able to locate and travel to another world at this very moment, but I wish to take as many of my children with me as I can. If you defeat me, we will leave, but if I win, I will make sure you do not interfere with my plans."

"Yeah, you already told us." the Critic said. "And we're ready to kick your sorry ass."

Lux turned to his four generals. "Stabilize this area. I would hate to have to listen to the Ranger-Humans complain about the gravity throwing them off."

Dozens of vines sprouted from Helkema's arms and legs and burrowed into the lunar surface, creating a field of standard-looking grass underneath the group. Munomi created a force field around the grassy area, giving it standard Earth gravity and air resistance. The four Demon Lords all retreated behind the barrier and used their combined Talent to sustain the spells, while Lux cracked his knuckles and smirked.

_Round 1. Fight!_

Linkara got the first strike with dual magic gun blasts, but Lux's body absorbed the blasts. He redirected the energy to his fingers and concentrated it into two spheres of prismatic light in his palms, which he chucked back at the Rangers. Lindsay and Spoony threw up a Reflect to bounce them off into the void.

Once they dropped the barrier, Joe and the Critic generated a shotgun and a submachine gun respectively and fired away, but the bullets failed to pierce his skin. The Critic also generated some missile-firing options that circled around Lux, but he swatted them away with his massive hands...

...which only distracted him. "POWER CHARGE! RIDER KICK!" Marzgurl's feet glowed fiery red as she sprinted toward Lux, landing a bone-crushing kick right in his chest. The force of the kick actually left a few cracks in his skin, but he didn't seem too hurt; he grabbed Marzgurl by the throat and threw her to the side, again leaving him open to attack. Lindsay bound his arms with a hard-light lasso, while Joe and Linkara wailed on him with a chainsaw and a Spiral Saber respectively.

Several bone-like protrusions sprouted out of Lux's arms, breaking through the lasso and shattering their weapons on impact. He smacked Linkara away and redirected some of Joe's Force Lightning at Lindsay, stunning her for a moment. A few crossbow bolts plinked uselessly off his head as he grabbed two more of the Critic's missile options and pointed them at Spoony.

But a Speed Charged Marzgurl punched his wrists, forcing him to clench his hands and destroying the options. The mini-explosions slightly scorched his palms, though again, he was relatively unaffected. He punched Marzgurl, but she Defense Charged and blocked, while Spoony generated two super-sharp shortswords and thrust them into his back.

"Hmm." Lux casually noted the swords in his back as he smashed through Marzgurl's Defense Charge and swept her off her feet with a leg-sweep. Spoony generated another sword and swung it at him, while Linkara generated a huge mace and brought it down on his head; he grabbed both weapons mid-swing and crushed them in his grip.

But Lindsay, Joe and the Critic fired the Combine Bazooka at him, punching right through the cracks on his chest and doing the first real damage to him. He staggered back from the force of the Bazooka while Spoony and Linkara helped Marzgurl up; she Power Charge Rider Punched Lux in the gaping hole in his chest, bursting right through his back.

The other Rangers fired Eradication spells at Marzgurl, supercharging her fists with its energy. She Rider Punched through one of Lux's arms, completely disintegrating it from the shoulder down, but he used some form of telekinesis to restrain her. The Rangers redirected their Eradication blasts at him, but more bone-like crystal protrusions burst from the hole in his chest, harmlessly funneling the energy behind him.

"Not bad, Ranger-Humans." Lux grunted. "Even if I had access to my full power, you may have still triumphed."

A red circular barrier surrounded Lux as he got to his feet. A bronze pocketwatch engraved with the symbol of the Unscarred Moon materialized in his hand. The Rangers all fired their Eradication spells at the barrier, but it wasn't even scratched.

"But the path of technology is strong indeed. I cannot break the curses placed upon me, but I can replace part of my lost power by drawing it from other sources."

Lux seemed to shudder as a clump of gold wires filled the hole in his chest and reformed his arm, then gradually spread underneath his skin, looking rather like arteries and veins. His skin splintered like tempered glass as gold and silver spikes sprouted up from the wires, wrapping around his arms and legs like scale armour. A proper silver chestplate (with the Unscarred Moon symbol in the center) formed over his upper body, he gained a silver helmet that covered his entire face save for his glowing blue eyes, and a black cape with gold trim clasped with a sunburst symbol below his chin.

**"Your fates are sealed."** Lux's voice gained the rough edge of his Demon Lords while morphed. He swished his cape back, dispelling the red barrier around him. He generated a huge silver-white broadsword in his hand and a number of slightly smaller swords behind him in midair, and he took a single heavy step toward the Rangers.

_Round 2. Fight!_

The Rangers all generated melee weapons and ran at Lux, but he directed the floating swords forward with his offhand, stopping the Rangers by forcing them to block. He ran with surprising swiftness over to the Rangers and brought down his sword on the Critic, but Lindsay repelled him with a quick barrier, throwing him off for a moment.

The Critic grabbed the blade of the floating sword, forcibly despawning it. then he took a swipe at Lux with his scythe. The scythe blade failed to cut through Lux's chestplate, giving him time to blind and disorient the Critic with a focused beam of light.

Taking a cue from the Critic, the other Rangers despawned the floating swords. They switched to ranged weapons and fired on Lux with crossbow bolts, shotgun and machinegun fire, hard-light bullets and miniature missiles, but he shrugged them all off. He responded by charging a sphere of bright light between his hands, and...

**"EM COCKTAIL!"** Lux held the sphere up, and it shot outward as an orange-yellow explosion. The area of effect was such that it could be seen from the surface of the Earth below, signifying something very, very wrong to the people on the planet.

When the light faded, the Rangers realized that they were back in their civilian forms. They tried to morph again, but the watches fizzled out and shattered into billions of pieces.

**"You never shielded them, Ouranous?"** Lux asked, turning toward the edge of the barrier.

**"I never saw the need."** Ouranous said. **"They should have been immune to either a magical overcharge or an electromagnetic pulse, but using both overloaded them, I suppose."**

**"I see."** Lux smirked as he looked at the Rangers. **"I've been saving that technique since the beginning of our fight. You never stood a chance, though I applaud you for fighting so well."**

But despite the loss of their watches, the Rangers did have a little bit of MP left. The Critic shouted "Hey Iris! If you can still hear us, send the Zords!" into the dial of his broken watch, while the others used their non-Weapon Generation spells on Lux. He just laughed off the attacks.

"POWER CHARGE! RIDER KICK!" Marzgurl still possessed her Charge spells, and she used them to kick Lux in the upper chest. He gently grabbed her around the midsection and set her down.

**"Your limited Talent won't support your Zords."** Lux said calmly. **"You've lost."**

But the Rangers kept throwing everything they still had at him, so he incapacitated them all with a flash of light that stunned them. Iris and Prospo appeared through a light door, though they were visibly shocked by Lux's armoured form.

"What..." Iris gasped. "What did you do?"

**"The Ranger-Humans are no longer a threat. Take them back to your Sanctuary, or I may decide to eliminate them after all."**

Iris warped them all away without a word. Lux and the Demon Lords demorphed, and the grassy field around him faded back into moon dust.

"And so it ends." Lux commented. "Ouranous, do they have the capability to create more watches?"

**"They may, but it should take them a month or more to recreate all six."** Ouranous said.

"Very good." Lux said. "We will begin unsealing the rest of my children tomorrow."


	20. Crossover: Olympus Rangers

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is not in continuity with the rest of TGWTG Rangers.)_

The five Rangers teleported onto the surface of the Moon, admiring the beauty of the pale blue dot rising above the lunar surface. Waiting for them was Lux, the crystalline Moon King, and his four generals.

"Mwa ha ha!" Lux laughed. "My evil plans for world domination will soon be complete. The only thing that stands in my way is you, Review Rangers."

"We'll stop you, Lux!" Linkara shouted.

"God, this guy gets worse with every battle." Spoony said. "Okay listen, Lux or whatever, why don't we cut the mwa-ha-haing and get down to the battle? I've got stuff to do."

"What do you have to get back to, Spoony? Doing video reviews? Right, because you do those all the time." Lindsay said.

"I'll slap you." Spoony waved his hand threateningly.

"Enough of your stupid banter!" Lux said. "You may have foiled the rest of my 19 plans, but my 20th plan is the greatest plan yet! Because, thanks to Ouranous the Betrayer..."

"You suck, Rangers!" Ouranous yelled from behind Lux.

"I have access to the Morphing Grid!" A bronze-coloured cell phone materialized in Lux's hand. He flipped it open and dialed 3-1-2-1. "Review This!"

"Yeah, we will!" The Rangers pulled out their own morphers and keyed in the same code. "Review This!"

"FILMS!"

"ANIMATION!"

"VIDEO GAMES!"

"TABLETOP GAMES!"

"COMIC BOOKS!"

"GO! REVIEW RANGERS!" Stock footage of the morphing sequence played as the Rangers' suits materialized over them.

"By the power of the Unscarred Moon!" Lux gained a silver-white spandex suit with gold and silver arm and leg guards, a horned skull-like helmet and a black cape with the symbol of the Unscarred Moon on the back.

Awesome battle music started playing as the Rangers pulled out their signature weapons and ran at Lux, who created a double sword with pitch-black blades. The Critic and Angry Joe engaged him in close combat with their sword and poleaxe respectively, while Linkara and Lindsay fired their magic gun and crossbow respectively at him from a distance. Spoony, who had a spear, pole-vaulted above Lux and stabbed him right in the brain.

Lux, unaffected by the spear in his head, blasted the Rangers away with a wave of evil magic. He split his double sword into two separate swords and ran at the Rangers, swinging them so quickly that they couldn't even hope to approach him from the front.

"MASKED RIDER POWER!" Marzgurl as the Masked Ranger appeared out of nowhere and delivered a Power Charged Rider Kick to Lux's back, burning his cape away and leaving a huge bootprint on him. While temporarily stunned, the five Rangers combined their melee weapons into the Combine Bazooka and blasted him with a multicolored beam of energy.

"Ghhk!" Lux created a force field in front of him, but the Bazooka smashed right through it. The combined attacks left a huge hole in his suit, exposing the gold circuitry underneath.

"Don't worry, Moon King! I'll help you!" Munomi raised her magic wand and flew over Lux a few times, dosing him with several passes of sparkling rainbow dust. A black aura surrounded Lux as his silhouette expanded several times.

"Oh no, he's growing!" Joe gasped. "We've gotta summon the Megazord if we don't wanna be crushed!"

"Why do they always fucking grow?" the Critic wondered. "You know what, whatever. Summon the Review Zords."

The Rangers flew up into the dark sky above them as a huge light door opened. The five Review Zords - the Gorilla Zord, the Wyvern Zord, the Tank Zord, the Pollo Zord and the Burton Zord all charged out of the door, blasting Lux's rapidly-expanding form with all sorts of energy blasts; unfortunately, they did little.

"Okay then, let's combine!" Linkara said. The five Zords transformed and combined into the Review Megazord.

"And I'll help too! Super Cycle Megazord, come out!" Marzgurl also flew into the sky, landing on a Zord-sized motorcycle that subsequently transformed into a humanoid shape.

"And now we'll combine the two Megazords into the Super Review Megazord." a bored Spoony said. "You know, we should just keep them combined. It'd save us time, at least."

The Review Megazord's armor broke off and floated over to the rather lean and mean Super Cycle Megazord, adding considerable bulk to it. The Review Megazord's lower arms and feet slipped over the Super Cycle Megazord's own, the latter gained the former's helmet, magic missile emitters and swords, and the remains became a huge tower shield covered in spikes.

"Not bad, Rangers!" Lux said, having finished growing. He had regenerated the damage dealt to him while small, but he was still nowhere near the Super Review Megazord's power level. "But I have a trick up my sleeve as well! Elemental Kings, let us become the Ultimate King of Evil!"

"Zug zug! Earth King Power!" Helkema flew up to Lux's chest and transformed into a set of silver plate mail, which fastened securely to Lux's chest.

"Behold the depths of my hatred for you, Rangers! Water Queen Power!" Ouranous transformed into icy trim for Helkema's armour, as well as watery gauntlets.

"I shall do anything you command, for I am your most loyal servant! Fire King Power!" Raxin transformed into a cape and hair of blazing red fire.

"You will see the ultimate power of Evil! Wind Queen Power!" Munomi transformed into winged boots and a plumed headband for Lux's helmet.

"And with that, I have become Super Lux, the Ultimate King of Evil!" Super Lux charged at the Megazord.

"He's the strongest foe we've seen yet!" Joe said. "How are we gonna defeat him?"

"Yeah, and how did the Elemental Kings turn into metal armor or whatever? I thought they were some sort of demons." Lindsay said.

"Limited by the Sentai footage. The Elemental Kings were robots in Kawaii Sentai Reviewger." Marzgurl said. "But why don't we just summon the Megasword or whatever?"

"I was getting to that." the Critic said. "Come on down, Megasword! God that sounds corny."

Another light door opened behind Lux, and a glowing red sword flew through it and pierced right through Super Lux's chest.

"And now, the finishing move! Super Mass Eradication Cannon!" Every single weapon port on the Super Review Megazord opened up and fired hundreds of multicolored beams of light, absolutely overwhelming Super Lux and reducing his body to dust.

"Wait, that was it?" the Critic asked. "What a fucking load! Where the hell was the buildup? He didn't even get to launch a single attack on us!"

"Why are you complaining about that?" Spoony said. "We're finally fucking done with this shit."

But before they could return to their homes, the glittering dust coalesced back into Lux in his normal form. His skin was charred and he was panting heavily, but he was clearly far from dead.

"Not yet, Rangers..." Lux said, gasping for air. "Not yet! You've been playing into my hand this entire time!"

Lux shouted in pure rage as he jumped up and slammed into the ground, cracking the lunar crust in every direction. A massive golden-white hand, easily half the size of the Moon by itself, burst from the ground and swallowed Lux in its grasp.

The Super Review Megazord was thrown into space as the Moon dissolved into a massive light shell, reforming into a gold-white dragon made of magical light that absolutely dwarfed the Earth.

"HA HA HA HA!" the dragon laughed. "AT LAST, I AM FREE! YOU WEREN'T SO USELESS AFTER ALL, LUX!"

"What the hell?" the Rangers all said in unison.

"YOU ARE THE ONES WHO GAVE LUX SUCH TROUBLE, HMM? HOW PATHETIC." The dragon fired a comet from its mouth, right at the Rangers - and at the Earth behind them.

"Super Mass Eradication Cannon!" The Megazord again opened up its weapon ports and blasted the comet with everything it had, but it barely made a dent. The huge dragon laughed as he watched their impending doom...

...only for a huge beam of white energy to come out of nowhere, disintegrating the comet with a single shot. A red and purple spaceship warped in and blasted the dragon with another shot, causing it to roar in pain.

"YOU!" The dragon fired more comets at the ship, but it destroyed each comet with a shot from its secondary cannons. The cannon on the front of the ship charged up a beam of electrical energy and shot it at the heart of the dragon, disrupting its energy form for an instant. The dragon, deciding that it had had enough, vanished into thin air.

"Oh geez, a deus ex machina. Okay, who is it this time" the Critic asked.

"Hi Doug!" a cheery female voice responded. "It's me, Lupa!"

* * *

><p>The Rangers reconvened in the Sanctuary, a high-tech lair deep underneath the city of Chorus Falls. Waiting for them was their mentor, a woman named Doctor Madeness, and her daughter, a blue protoplasmic orb simply known as Daughter. Also waiting for them was two familiar faces: Obscurus Lupa and Phelous.<p>

"Welcome back, Rangers!" Madeness said warmly. "And excellent work on finally defeating Lux. It's just unfortunate that the Unscarred Moon managed to break out of his seal."

"Wait, the Unscarred Moon?" the Critic said. "I thought you said that it was some sort of magic orb thing."

"It's more that than, and that's why we're here." Lupa said. "See, the Unscarred Moon is the dormant form of a being known as Qul the Heaven God."

"And where the hell did you get a spaceship anyways?" Spoony asked.

"Funny you should mention that." Phelous said. "No, sorry, it's not funny at all. It's a long and stupid story written by some weirdo."

"What Phelan's trying to say is that we're from an alternate universe." Lupa explained. "It all started when I decided to enter the Olympic Games..."

Lupa gave a brief overview of the events of her life since that fateful day. She won the Olympics, saved the universe from a dark god, had various adventures in time and space, defeated another dark god, fought Demon Robot Ghost Hitler, and had a saga-worthy adventure on an alternate version of the Mushroom Kingdom. That last one is the most important to this particular story.

On that particular world, they found a being known as the Earth God, who was split apart in six parts and sealed away. Lupa and Phelous' saga involved unsealing this being and allying with it against an interdimensional empire, which they managed to win; but in return, the Earth God (named Feiz) asked them to help locate its counterpart, the Heaven God Qul.

"Qul wanted to raise an army to get revenge on some guys or something." Phelous said dismissively. "I don't really care about the details, we just owe Feiz a couple of favours."

"As for the ship, we got that from an alternate Spoony." Lupa said. "A... very alternate Spoony."

"What, is he gay?" Spoony asked.

"Nah, just a universe-devouring cosmic horror." Lupa said. "Anyways, we've gotta go hunt down Qul, and we figure that you guys could help us out. You'll get awesome cosmic powers if you do."

"Okay, I could go for that." the Critic said. "What about you guys?"

The other Rangers murmured and nodded in approval.

"Excellent. Good luck, Rangers!" Doctor Madeness said. "I've taken the liberty of loading the Super Review Megazord onto the Exceliator already, and it's all repaired and everything."

"Okay, let's get this over with." Phelous said as they warped up to the Exceliator, the moon-sized ship in orbit. Madeness and Daughter waved as they vanished from the underground base, only realizing that the world was completely undefended without the Rangers or the Zords. But nothing would happen while they were gone... right?

* * *

><p>"WE HAVE ARRIVED." BURTON, the Exceliator's controlling AI, announced as they left hyperspace. They were hovering in orbit over a small rocky planet in the middle of nowhere, space - half of it was completely barren, but the other half was a lush forest with deep rivers and lakes. In the center of the forest was a glowing dome, visible even from space.<p>

"So, BURTON?" Spoony said. "You were built by... me?"

"TECHNICALLY, A DIFFERENT VERSION OF YOU, YES." BURTON said. "THOUGH HE CALLED HIMSELF 'SPONBY', AND HE WAS SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM YOU IN MANY WAYS... YET HE WAS SIMILAR, TOO."

"Sponby?" Spoony scoffed. "What a stupid fucking name."

"Yeah, imagine that." Phelous said. "Okay, Qul's a god, so he'll be a lot more powerful than what you're used to fighting. But we just need to distract him for a little while while Feiz works his mojo or whatever... did I seriously just say mojo? God damnit."

"Feiz and Qul are naturally opposing, so we just need to weaken Qul a bit so that Feiz won't kill himself when they annihilate each other." Lupa exposited. "Ready?"

"As ready as we'll ever be." Lindsay said. The Rangers morphed and headed to the Megazord.

"I AM READY AS WELL." BURTON said. "DRAGONLORD TECHNIQUE LV. 5: GIGA FLARE."

The Exceliator's main guns powered up again, gathering a combination of fiery and electrical energy in its dual chambers. It fired both beams at a slight inward angle, creating a huge nuclear reaction that bombarded the planet below with billions of fireballs. The planet surface was irrevocably scorched by the Giga Flare, but this did little more than annoy Qul.

"Go go Power Rangers." the Critic said as the Megazord teleported down to the surface. Qul, in the form of a city-sized glowing dragon, noticed them immediately.

"WHY HAVE YOU PURSUED ME TO THIS PLACE?" Qul asked.

"Because we were promised phenomenal cosmic power." Linkara said. "Let me guess, your plan is to conquer the universe or something?"

"I WISH ONLY TO BRING LIFE TO LIFELESS PLANETS." Qul said. "IF OTHERS CHOOSE TO FOLLOW AND WORSHIP ME, THEN SO BE IT, BUT I WILL NOT FORCE THEM."

"We've heard that before." Lindsay said. "You know what Lux told us when we first met? He said he wanted to do pretty much the same thing, but then he killed Australia. Not just the people, but the entire fucking continent."

"LUX WAS CORRUPTED BY HIS OWN EGO. I HAVE NO SUCH CONCEIT."

"Right. Super Mass Eradication Cannons." The Megazord fired everything at Qul, but of course, since it's a finishing move, it doesn't work if used right off the bat. Qul swatted the Megazord away with his tail, laughing like a madman all the way.

"IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME, GO AHEAD AND TRY!"

"I'll take that challenge! Orbital Lighting Sword Drop Attack!" Lupa, in the form of an armoured figure with a huge sword and literally flaming hair, dropped from the stratosphere. She called down a bunch of lightning bolts, striking Qul a few times before cutting right through his body with her sword.

"Phelous Clone Army go." Phelous ordered. Several portals opened to the Plane of Infinite Phelouses, and around 400 or so Phelouses poured out; they focused their eye lasers on Qul's chest before he recovered from Lupa's attack, burning a hole right through the dragon. Qul roared in pain, spewing golden flames while thrashing about in a vain attempt to deal some lasting damage, but the Phelouses just retreated back into the portals.

But not before around 100 of them got onto each others' shoulders, forming MegaPhelous. The Megazord got back up and joined MegaPhelous while Lupa dug her way out of the ground.

"Combination Attack: Mega-Mega Laser Swords!" The Megazord summoned its sword, which speared Qul through the head, while MegaPhelous focused his super eye lasers through the sword's hilt, reducing Qul's head to cinders.

"And one more!" Lupa pulled out her infinite rocket launcher and fired away with one hand, while summoning a number of blessed mythril sais and chucking them with her other. Combined with another round of eye lasers from MegaPhelous and Super Mass Eradication Cannons, the assault reduced Qul to a few beads of light.

"Okay, Feiz! Your turn!" Lupa called out.

"FEIZ? ARRGH!" Qul regenerated, and indeed kept on growing, until it was at its true size (roughly four times the size of Earth). An equally-sized golden-white being, though this one looked more like a horse with a thousand arms, also appeared above the planet.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked the Critic.

"Does it really matter?" Phelous said. "It's almost done, barring some unforeseen complication that will surely happen."

"Hey Qul! I've been looking for you!" the rather childish voice of Feiz the Earth God called out. "You cut my body up and sealed the pieces in a rock, then you took my brain and turned it into a sun! I didn't particularly like that."

"IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD." Qul responded. "YOU WERE GOING TO DESTROY MY BLESSED CHILDREN."

"Uh, no. As I remember it, you were the one who wanted to convert them into soldiers for your nebulous revenge plans." Feiz said. "Speaking of revenge, it's sounding pretty good right now! WRATH OF THE EARTH GOD!"

"I'LL KILL YOU THIS TIME! PENANCE OF THE HEAVEN GOD!"

The two gods fired superpowerful beams of destruction at each other; Feiz's singular blinding-white beam against Qul's myriad rainbow beams.

"Hey Lupa, Phelous, Rangers! I could use some help!"

Three of Feiz's arms detached themselves from his back and flew down to the surface of the planet, enchanting Lupa, Phelous and the Megazord. Lupa returned to her normal form, albeit with white clothing and long hair made of golden flames; Phelous turned into a Super Saiyan, impractical spiky hair and all; and the Megazord tripled in size and gained even more weapons and three more sets of arms.

The newly-empowered heroes flew up into space, where the epic beam struggle was still going on. Feiz's sacrifice of his arms had weakened him a little bit, but it was enough that he was on the losing end of the struggle.

"As a matter of fact... I'm not doing this joke. Super meta attack." Phelous lazily pointed at Qul, firing a bright blue beam of pure energy.

"Ultra Mega Super Cannons!" The Megazord poured its new energy into all of its weapons, but even the super-enhanced Megazord had every single last one of its weapons fried by the sheer power of the attacks. But they still got to fire them all once, which was enough to destroy over half of Qul's body with one shot.

"Summon Jesus!" Lupa summoned Jesus. "Hey, wanna kill this false god guy?"

"Sure. I still owe you for saving the universe a couple of times. Ultra Jesus Beam!" Jesus turned Super Saiyan and blasted Qul with an energy beam that split into three parts on impact and re-homed in on him, destroying the rest of Qul's body for good. Jesus then vanished.

The Rangers just floated in space, looking at the huge Earth God while trying to comprehend exactly what just happened.

"Well... that happened." Spoony said.

"We killed a god!" Joe said excitedly. "Damn that was awesome!"

"No, not really." the Critic said. "So this is our cosmic power, huh?"

"You betcha." Feiz said. "Anyways, you guys are off the hook. Thanks for helping me with revenge. I think I'm gonna go find another galaxy and see what Doctor Manhattan's doing. See you later!" The god vanished in a flash of light.

"And I've got an evil alternate universe Jackie Chan to stop." Lupa announced as the Exceliator pulled up, beaming her and Phelous aboard. "Enjoy your cosmic powers and stuff, guys."

"Yeah, bye." Phelous said as the Exceliator warped away.

"So..." the Critic said. "We've got godlike power... Anybody thinking what I'm thinking?"

The other Rangers just looked at him.

"Well, I uh, I always kinda wanted to be a supervillain." the Critic admitted. "Wanna conquer the world?"

"Heck yeah!" Spoony said. The other Rangers duly agreed, and they warped back to Earth to start a new era of fear and tyranny...


End file.
